for The Mystery at Hile Farm6/12/2005 c6 
22kp-828
No its not moving to fast in my opinion. Its a great twist to get things going in the right direction... just keep them going that way and I'll be fine.
22kp-828No its not moving to fast in my opinion. Its a great twist to get things going in the right direction... just keep them going that way and I'll be fine.
6/10/2005 c5 WarriorHeart
okay, i want more! the stroy is good so far, the chapters a tad sort, but i'll take what i can get.
okay, i want more! the stroy is good so far, the chapters a tad sort, but i'll take what i can get.
6/10/2005 c4 kp-828
YAY more story! I love the description of the aunt it made me laugh actually i'm too tired to laugh but i would have laughed if i weren't so tired... you know this is really mysterious hopefully you finish this one so i can be so happy.. :D yay!
YAY more story! I love the description of the aunt it made me laugh actually i'm too tired to laugh but i would have laughed if i weren't so tired... you know this is really mysterious hopefully you finish this one so i can be so happy.. :D yay!
6/8/2005 c4 1Psycho Parfait
Aw, how cute. What a li'l liar.. ;) She so knows she wants to tackle him to the ground and give him lotsa wet smoochies! Hehe.
Very nice chappie. :) Update soon!
1Psycho ParfaitAw, how cute. What a li'l liar.. ;) She so knows she wants to tackle him to the ground and give him lotsa wet smoochies! Hehe.
Very nice chappie. :) Update soon!
6/7/2005 c3 22kp-828
Finally! hehe its wonderful. I like reading it and I look forward to more. One other thing though, I've noticed that alot of people tell you to make your chapters longer. I disagree. Make your chapters as long as your idea is. If your idea is short than do it that long because it will just seem like your rambling (unintentionally of course) but also don't simplify a chapter if its too long. Elaborate what you want to, or simplify what you want if it suits your idea. anyways great story. Good luck with the rest. YAY -kp
22kp-828Finally! hehe its wonderful. I like reading it and I look forward to more. One other thing though, I've noticed that alot of people tell you to make your chapters longer. I disagree. Make your chapters as long as your idea is. If your idea is short than do it that long because it will just seem like your rambling (unintentionally of course) but also don't simplify a chapter if its too long. Elaborate what you want to, or simplify what you want if it suits your idea. anyways great story. Good luck with the rest. YAY -kp
6/6/2005 c3 1Psycho Parfait
I like it. :) It's very interesting, and has nice potential! I like the development of the characters, as well.. they're not "stereotypical" or anything. Although it's slightly funny that they first see each other and get weird feelings.. haha.
Um.. also.. it seems that part of it was repeated at the end, and it looks like you just stopped abruptly, too. Might wanna double-check that?
Either way, continue soon!
1Psycho ParfaitI like it. :) It's very interesting, and has nice potential! I like the development of the characters, as well.. they're not "stereotypical" or anything. Although it's slightly funny that they first see each other and get weird feelings.. haha.
Um.. also.. it seems that part of it was repeated at the end, and it looks like you just stopped abruptly, too. Might wanna double-check that?
Either way, continue soon!
6/6/2005 c3 1PhoenixFire415
Whoa! This is so cool! Please continue! I just have one question to ask. Why did you repeat the same paragraph twice? I thought you did, anyways, I can't trust my eyes these days. It is getting so interesting! So, I say again. Please continue!
1PhoenixFire415Whoa! This is so cool! Please continue! I just have one question to ask. Why did you repeat the same paragraph twice? I thought you did, anyways, I can't trust my eyes these days. It is getting so interesting! So, I say again. Please continue!
6/6/2005 c3 54rainkisser
hun... you seem to be having une petite probleme with your story. did you look over it after posting it? if not, do know that you always should, I do and many a time have I found that I was missing a big chunk or there was a large space in the story and I immediately go back to replace it before anyone can catch it. the chapter is great, I should know since I was there when you wrote it lol, but your set up is odd and is seems like the chapter cut off early. much love (oh no! finals tommorow! I can't get an A in French but I only need a 72 to get a B!) Mia
54rainkisserhun... you seem to be having une petite probleme with your story. did you look over it after posting it? if not, do know that you always should, I do and many a time have I found that I was missing a big chunk or there was a large space in the story and I immediately go back to replace it before anyone can catch it. the chapter is great, I should know since I was there when you wrote it lol, but your set up is odd and is seems like the chapter cut off early. much love (oh no! finals tommorow! I can't get an A in French but I only need a 72 to get a B!) Mia
5/30/2005 c1 22kp-828
This is coming along very well. I really like how there seems to be something mysterious about both of them... I can't wait for the rest... but I think you should finish Camp Surprises soon too :) I bet its hard to be in the middle of two really good stories, but your doing a great job keep it up :)
22kp-828This is coming along very well. I really like how there seems to be something mysterious about both of them... I can't wait for the rest... but I think you should finish Camp Surprises soon too :) I bet its hard to be in the middle of two really good stories, but your doing a great job keep it up :)
4/20/2005 c1 157darkmistresslae
nice story. the opening is really well written, i like how you have the sky and mountains be like a cage. nice job
157darkmistresslaenice story. the opening is really well written, i like how you have the sky and mountains be like a cage. nice job
4/19/2005 c1 54rainkisser
it's okay... I must say I'm not in love with it yet, but it certainly has potential. It was very well written except for the "/"s. instead of using the slashes use a dash ( red-gold hair instead of red/gold hair, red/gold means red OR gold red-gold means reddish gold) or a comma (half ran, half walked instead of "half ran/half walked") also, you might want to find new ways to describe her hair or his eyes, instead of red/gold you could say reddish gold or in the case of his eyes greenish blue, or green within blue or WHATEVER! that said. update!much loveMia
54rainkisserit's okay... I must say I'm not in love with it yet, but it certainly has potential. It was very well written except for the "/"s. instead of using the slashes use a dash ( red-gold hair instead of red/gold hair, red/gold means red OR gold red-gold means reddish gold) or a comma (half ran, half walked instead of "half ran/half walked") also, you might want to find new ways to describe her hair or his eyes, instead of red/gold you could say reddish gold or in the case of his eyes greenish blue, or green within blue or WHATEVER! that said. update!much loveMia