for Pervis5/31/2005 c1 Coward in the Shadows
...I didn't really like it all that much, not to hurt your friend's feelings or anything. The syntax is a bit blah. Maybe add some punctuation to increase the effect? Periods and commas are your friends! Anyway, keep writing. I'm not trying to be discouraging, it just didn't mean that much to me. The topic is good though. Keep working on it...it's a good start!
...I didn't really like it all that much, not to hurt your friend's feelings or anything. The syntax is a bit blah. Maybe add some punctuation to increase the effect? Periods and commas are your friends! Anyway, keep writing. I'm not trying to be discouraging, it just didn't mean that much to me. The topic is good though. Keep working on it...it's a good start!
5/11/2004 c1 Leah
The poem was ok, and I didn't have a problem with anyone making fun of Purvis, but I feel bad for him cause he sounds like a cool kid.
~*Leah
The poem was ok, and I didn't have a problem with anyone making fun of Purvis, but I feel bad for him cause he sounds like a cool kid.
~*Leah
5/16/2003 c1 
9Lonestar Sweetheart
It is harsh! But at least someone had the guts to be frank. I think that everyone's idea of what a 'normal' kid should be like is subjective though. Still... it made me laugh.
9Lonestar SweetheartIt is harsh! But at least someone had the guts to be frank. I think that everyone's idea of what a 'normal' kid should be like is subjective though. Still... it made me laugh.
5/6/2003 c1 50PurpleLilac
interesting...i've never attempted anything like it...I was rather touched though coz I have a friend who people consider rather sissy. Its very sad though coz he was born as he is yet the teasing doesn't seem to stop.
50PurpleLilacinteresting...i've never attempted anything like it...I was rather touched though coz I have a friend who people consider rather sissy. Its very sad though coz he was born as he is yet the teasing doesn't seem to stop.
8/4/2002 c1 84Escapist
ahahah
mean, but incredibly funny :D
I make up songs like this all the time, my friends say I should get a life...
lol thanks, that gave me a good laugh
84Escapistahahah
mean, but incredibly funny :D
I make up songs like this all the time, my friends say I should get a life...
lol thanks, that gave me a good laugh
3/29/2001 c1 Nymhet
I loved it too... cool poem dude :))))
I loved it too... cool poem dude :))))
1/30/2001 c1 Sam Zimmerstein
When I read this poem i really connected with it - it reminded me of the days of my troubled teenagerhood. I was bullied for 5 years by a group of girls - actually they were my sisters, and i remember the way both they and my mom were embarrassed to be seen with me. The repetition in the first 2 lines of the very first verse immediately engages the attention of the reader. I also love the alliteration of "seven stone freak"
i must congratulate your friend on the effective simplicity of her poem. Being a writer too I would love to collaborate with her on a song that I have in mind about my own turbulent childhood experiences.
i look forward to reading more of her work
Sam
When I read this poem i really connected with it - it reminded me of the days of my troubled teenagerhood. I was bullied for 5 years by a group of girls - actually they were my sisters, and i remember the way both they and my mom were embarrassed to be seen with me. The repetition in the first 2 lines of the very first verse immediately engages the attention of the reader. I also love the alliteration of "seven stone freak"
i must congratulate your friend on the effective simplicity of her poem. Being a writer too I would love to collaborate with her on a song that I have in mind about my own turbulent childhood experiences.
i look forward to reading more of her work
Sam
1/30/2001 c1 Yuka Tikonomo
hello sara, i come from japan. i like your poem but it is very mean.
love yuka
hello sara, i come from japan. i like your poem but it is very mean.
love yuka