Just In
for Lay Me Down to Sleep

5/17/2005 c1 2hishippo
A very interesting poem. Its not very childish at all... its very human. I can't really say I can relate very much but I guess I could imagine. Children have very different views on life and this poem doesn't really reflect that at all. They have a world that is more black and white, this poem shows a shade of gray-the speaker is caught between the good and the bad. I think that the speaker in this poem really feels guilty for what they have done and wants the burden lifted but at the same time, doesn't expect it (my interpretation). Not sure what you are trying to say and doubt I'm there, but its a very good poem. Very dark and quite hopeless. If you want to look at it that way, I guess.
4/22/2005 c1 10Aimee-Louise
I personally thought the poem flowed well, but maybe I'm just weird...:) The great thing about God is that he sent Jesus to die for our sins, so that he may forgive us, no mater what we've done. That's called salvation, which is the most amazing miracle ever.
4/19/2005 c1 54Serendipitous Passage
The ideas are golden, but the flow of some of the lines doesn't feel right. That's always one of the hardest things to get right when you're using a rhyming scheme. Great poem.

Please R&R some of my work. I'll return the favor.
4/19/2005 c1 IarannCros
'if I should die before I wake'Hey, did you know that's a name of a book? Sorry... totally miscinlaneous... anyhoo, I think this is good! I wouldn't call it childish. Simply because you might have written it a long time ago (I don't know why else you would call it 'childish', otherwise) doesn't make it childish. Simply makes it a poem... that you wrote a really long time ago... yeah...

Twitter . Help . Sign Up . Cookies . Privacy . Terms of Service