for 17 is company too10/12/2005 c2 maxnotevoltage
This is great! I love stories with tons of kids. And it was good that you explained the whole situation in the first chapter, before actually getting into the story. Perfect planning.
Man - I wish I could read more of this right now! I love the way the story is developing! But, alas, it's a Wednesday evening... I'll come back - I promise! It's awesome! - J.max
This is great! I love stories with tons of kids. And it was good that you explained the whole situation in the first chapter, before actually getting into the story. Perfect planning.
Man - I wish I could read more of this right now! I love the way the story is developing! But, alas, it's a Wednesday evening... I'll come back - I promise! It's awesome! - J.max
10/4/2005 c9 
7firefairy27
Ahaha, a nice big happy family... well... maybe not quite... oh whatever...
7firefairy27Ahaha, a nice big happy family... well... maybe not quite... oh whatever...
10/4/2005 c8 firefairy27
Hm... seem to have forgotten to read lately... my bad... Heh, sorry, I was a bit tied up with the new school year and all that stuff. Good chapter, I'll read more as soon as I can! Hey, I just realized I never mentioned anything about the fact that my aunt and uncle have 14 kids-none of them adopted, none of them twins or tripplets...
Hm... seem to have forgotten to read lately... my bad... Heh, sorry, I was a bit tied up with the new school year and all that stuff. Good chapter, I'll read more as soon as I can! Hey, I just realized I never mentioned anything about the fact that my aunt and uncle have 14 kids-none of them adopted, none of them twins or tripplets...
10/1/2005 c13 3Lady Isaiah
Okay, one thing you should know. Your charcters seem to be all just talk. Give them some movemtent. instead of jsu doing voice emotion, add a little of body language.
Besides that I love it! Zoe seems to be down in the dumps these past few chapters...I feel bad for her.
That leads me to my second suggestion: ZOe isn't your main character. And Cassie in more. She's the main character. If you don't want to focus on Cassie as much as Zoe, then make ZOe your main character. But then, I'm curious. Are you trying to make each person have their own little problem and then have it solved? Because if so, that'd be like a bunch of mini stories crammed together. Not a good idea. Just add your main character in the others problems so that it's a major event in her life as well. Well, I hope that helped! Very good! LOve the flow! Love teh characters! C ya! :D
3Lady IsaiahOkay, one thing you should know. Your charcters seem to be all just talk. Give them some movemtent. instead of jsu doing voice emotion, add a little of body language.
Besides that I love it! Zoe seems to be down in the dumps these past few chapters...I feel bad for her.
That leads me to my second suggestion: ZOe isn't your main character. And Cassie in more. She's the main character. If you don't want to focus on Cassie as much as Zoe, then make ZOe your main character. But then, I'm curious. Are you trying to make each person have their own little problem and then have it solved? Because if so, that'd be like a bunch of mini stories crammed together. Not a good idea. Just add your main character in the others problems so that it's a major event in her life as well. Well, I hope that helped! Very good! LOve the flow! Love teh characters! C ya! :D
9/23/2005 c13 70Aryanda
One thing that kinda bugged me. Silence is not silience. that's all i noticed for this chapter. I also thought it extremely funny...the hermit crab in the jello.
I had a hermit crab once. Actually I had two. The first one died of an unknown disease (he just crinkled up, we gave him enough water), and the second one ran away. Yes, he ran away about a year ago, in the house, and he was in a bowl that was 3x as big as him. But I had a funeral for the first one...just a memory.
Update soon please!
70AryandaOne thing that kinda bugged me. Silence is not silience. that's all i noticed for this chapter. I also thought it extremely funny...the hermit crab in the jello.
I had a hermit crab once. Actually I had two. The first one died of an unknown disease (he just crinkled up, we gave him enough water), and the second one ran away. Yes, he ran away about a year ago, in the house, and he was in a bowl that was 3x as big as him. But I had a funeral for the first one...just a memory.
Update soon please!
9/11/2005 c13 eaglescout021606
This wasn't your best chapter (trust me, that's a hard one to live up to :) ), but one of the most humorous. Keep up the good work!
This wasn't your best chapter (trust me, that's a hard one to live up to :) ), but one of the most humorous. Keep up the good work!
9/9/2005 c13 2ZePuKa
AH! *SQUEALS!* YOU FINALLY POSTSED IT! =D =D =D ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ YEA! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! It's so funny! And I love my aussies... poor nigel and nevin... I love the scene whre mommu explains that sam is dead, brilliant! Just like a real child's reaction might be! WHE! *dances* hey, have I told you about my temporary website? since my other host is being a buttmunch, I've got a blog on xanga... so you can see that at w.xanga.com/zepuka anyways, I have not seen you in like, forever! we MUST get together sometime! well, it's 2:30 am, I should get to bed... GREAT CHAPPIE! I can't wait for the funeral! (and I mean that in the best way possible... not in a morbid way...)
2ZePuKaAH! *SQUEALS!* YOU FINALLY POSTSED IT! =D =D =D ^_^ ^_^ ^_^ YEA! I LOVE IT I LOVE IT I LOVE IT! It's so funny! And I love my aussies... poor nigel and nevin... I love the scene whre mommu explains that sam is dead, brilliant! Just like a real child's reaction might be! WHE! *dances* hey, have I told you about my temporary website? since my other host is being a buttmunch, I've got a blog on xanga... so you can see that at w.xanga.com/zepuka anyways, I have not seen you in like, forever! we MUST get together sometime! well, it's 2:30 am, I should get to bed... GREAT CHAPPIE! I can't wait for the funeral! (and I mean that in the best way possible... not in a morbid way...)
9/6/2005 c12 3Lady Isaiah
Xzavier is pretty blunt...but a funny blunt. I enjoyed this chapter a lot.
I'm very sorry about being late about reading this. *so busy* And oh...I don't think I ever got a chance to tell you. ON EYe, Jin I revised and pretty much rewrote all the chapters. So you might want to go back and read some. There's a new chapter 1 and 2...and many others.
You can update soon!(My brain's fried. It'll be a while before I update again...^.^")
Good day and...good luck...?
3Lady IsaiahXzavier is pretty blunt...but a funny blunt. I enjoyed this chapter a lot.
I'm very sorry about being late about reading this. *so busy* And oh...I don't think I ever got a chance to tell you. ON EYe, Jin I revised and pretty much rewrote all the chapters. So you might want to go back and read some. There's a new chapter 1 and 2...and many others.
You can update soon!(My brain's fried. It'll be a while before I update again...^.^")
Good day and...good luck...?
9/1/2005 c12 2ZePuKa
YEA! I LOVE THIS CHAPPIE! and yes, THE BOOK as you call it is really good so far, but I'm finding it hard to fit readking time into my schedule, as you can see by how long it took me to get to your chapter... =( anyway, YOU FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST NOTEBOOK! AWESOME! That means that the second notebook with the er... 'special incident' in it will be posted soon! yea! haha, love ya, kae-chan, see you soon!
2ZePuKaYEA! I LOVE THIS CHAPPIE! and yes, THE BOOK as you call it is really good so far, but I'm finding it hard to fit readking time into my schedule, as you can see by how long it took me to get to your chapter... =( anyway, YOU FINALLY FINISHED THE FIRST NOTEBOOK! AWESOME! That means that the second notebook with the er... 'special incident' in it will be posted soon! yea! haha, love ya, kae-chan, see you soon!
8/26/2005 c12 70Aryanda
Okay, a bit of constructive critiscism- there are way alot of typos, not that I mind, just something to work on. Also, everything feels a bit rushed, almost. Add more to the story and it'd be terrific. I really have no more constructive critiscism, and good job so far! You know, that thing about Cassie going to Japan makes me wanna go to Japan...ah, but 'twill never come true. I can wish, though.
70AryandaOkay, a bit of constructive critiscism- there are way alot of typos, not that I mind, just something to work on. Also, everything feels a bit rushed, almost. Add more to the story and it'd be terrific. I really have no more constructive critiscism, and good job so far! You know, that thing about Cassie going to Japan makes me wanna go to Japan...ah, but 'twill never come true. I can wish, though.
8/16/2005 c11 eaglescout021606
I have a younger sister, and all we EVER do is fight. Anyway, I felt this chapter really does the first day of school justice (seeing how the first day of my Junior year in high school starts day after tomorrow). Keep up the good work!
I have a younger sister, and all we EVER do is fight. Anyway, I felt this chapter really does the first day of school justice (seeing how the first day of my Junior year in high school starts day after tomorrow). Keep up the good work!
8/8/2005 c11 3Lady Isaiah
Ah, man, did you have to end it there. Ya know what I would have done if a teacher told that to me. I would get and walk out of that class, talk to a counselor or the principle and get the teacher FIRED! That's terrible teacher. Zoe's lucky to have Lucian around, and right next to her too. I wouldn't be that lucky. This is so cool! keep it up!
3Lady IsaiahAh, man, did you have to end it there. Ya know what I would have done if a teacher told that to me. I would get and walk out of that class, talk to a counselor or the principle and get the teacher FIRED! That's terrible teacher. Zoe's lucky to have Lucian around, and right next to her too. I wouldn't be that lucky. This is so cool! keep it up!
8/8/2005 c10 Lady Isaiah
I thought you were going to make Danilla a little bit more annoying. Oh well, It makes her character a bit more...likeable...
Sorry I was late getting to this! T.T. Now on to the next chappie!
I thought you were going to make Danilla a little bit more annoying. Oh well, It makes her character a bit more...likeable...
Sorry I was late getting to this! T.T. Now on to the next chappie!
8/8/2005 c11 70Aryanda
oh, this is so great! i like the big family, with all the different personalities. i like Lucian too, and the way that he believes and has a strong relationship with God. this is so wonderful!
70Aryandaoh, this is so great! i like the big family, with all the different personalities. i like Lucian too, and the way that he believes and has a strong relationship with God. this is so wonderful!
8/6/2005 c11 2ZePuKa
Oh my gosh, kae-chan! what an awesome chapter! Lucian is now on my fave list, and I loved the aussie's lil biology lesson! poor poor zoe! I liked how you stuck in the elanor roosevelt quote, it's one of my favorites! I also like the one that I will have to look up now because I can't quote it word for word off the top of my head, but I'll get it and tell it to you later! Have fun at camp!-Puka-chan!
2ZePuKaOh my gosh, kae-chan! what an awesome chapter! Lucian is now on my fave list, and I loved the aussie's lil biology lesson! poor poor zoe! I liked how you stuck in the elanor roosevelt quote, it's one of my favorites! I also like the one that I will have to look up now because I can't quote it word for word off the top of my head, but I'll get it and tell it to you later! Have fun at camp!-Puka-chan!