Just In
for The Alliteration Poem, or: The Change

7/1/2005 c1 7gingerbeer
Hey Je-Nie-Dieu! I loved the whimsical feel of this poem, the alliterations, the assonance, and all the new vocab words I learned, thank you! By the way, do you speak French? First there was "Je nie Dieu" and now Merde! Haha...

I'm just wondering, cuz I grew up in Quebec...

I especially loved "salve on salvo swaths," and after going to Dictionary.com, I realized you were using the term "swath" as in "cut a swath," or making an impression. It's so cool that you also used "cut" with "salve," as if the cut was a real wound of... vanity? That's where I got stuck... I also don't know what the Great reason is... is it a religious reference?

Yech! That was a strong image: mortared lips. It's very true of lovestruck people, what is said in the parentheses. You did a great job, making this lend so much to the whimsical feel here, when you're referring to the human tendency to make everything mean something.

I was a bit stuck on the second stanza... "What the hell could that lead to?" Were you referring to "palace pimping?" Haha...

Write on, Monsieur Je Nie Dieu!
5/3/2005 c1 47i was a postcard
i love alliteration! haha. I just love that first line..."The wind in Whitman's window..." The 6th stanza was my favorite.
5/3/2005 c1 69this is britt
You think I'm wonderful? Oh wow. Not even in my wildest dreams could I ever write like this. so many great lines, "such a summer of smiles"- you know, if someone read this, I don't see why they wouldn't be at your beckoncall 24-7. thank you so much for the reviews and the thing in your profile. how odd! I wrote a poem mentioning Whitman last week. perhaps he's haunting around.
5/3/2005 c1 5Jessica Tudor
I think if I tried reading this out loud my mouth would fall off. Great fun! :)
5/3/2005 c1 Rose of Darkness 666
Wow, the alliteration here is WAY too much...But some of the images are nice, like "That is enough when all of your green shoots and moist redemptions/Poke free of the starched, parched earth." That's awsome. Just way too much alliteration.
5/3/2005 c1 191nine iron
Your certainly have a great grasp of the style you have so well used here.

Nine Iron

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