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for September 11th: Redone

6/2/2005 c1 34Bittersweetwriting
although I find your story very entertaining, I don't belive you should be making a mockery out of 9/11. Your kind of degrating it by having a fashion gala and stuff like that. What you are purposing did not happen, and I (personally) find it wrong to have add things in there that never really happend, like some big fashion thing where there are snobby movie star people..it just sounds wrong, and we should respect and ADMIRE those who were there. This is just my opinion btw, please don't be offended. Although I disagree with your way of telling the story, I think you are a good and talented writer. I would probably enjoy reading some of your other stuff.
5/19/2005 c1 10Aimee-Louise
Thank you for your suggestions. I'm sorry i didn't clarify, but I just started writing this story, and I just put the first couple paragraphs up to see if anybody liked it. No, it's not a fashion gala. What happened was that the people that were scheduled to crash into the WTC were caught, and now the world is reacting to the news about the incident, and there is a meeting for "important" people such as Brenda to comment on what our country should do about it. Thank you for bringing up the imagery part, and for the sight of the statue of liberty from the WTC. I looked it up, and you can see it on the WTC, while it's very faint. Thank you, again, I plan to update this story this week, so please check it out!
5/18/2005 c1 6Toni Berthelette
I actually like it, you should continue writing more. You captured Brenda's personality good (since a lot of movie stars are snobs like she is).


btw, you could see the Statue of Liberty from the World Trade Center. You could see so much on them.
5/18/2005 c1 lyingdreamer
1) you can't see the statue of liberty from the world trade center

2) since when do they hold social fashion galas in the world trade center

3) your imagery is really choppy. I suggest breaking up your paragraphs a little more and smoothing out the dialogue to make it a little more realistic.
5/9/2005 c1 me
yeah i dont understand it very well

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