for Diary of an AssassinThe Whole story5/22/2005 c1 Darius de Markl
One word: WOW this is one of the BEST stories i've ever read. Write more! Write more!
One word: WOW this is one of the BEST stories i've ever read. Write more! Write more!
5/19/2005 c1 
12Myst Dragon
She kind of reminded me of Kyle Katro at first, except for her explosive personality, and she likes bombs. not bad.
12Myst DragonShe kind of reminded me of Kyle Katro at first, except for her explosive personality, and she likes bombs. not bad.
5/19/2005 c1 Zenyagi
The story is coming along well, and was an enjoyable read. Any suggestions I could make would be relatively minor changes. Most noticeably of course is the assassins name changing at points.
Some parts seem to be a little unclear, but I couldn't really know at this point if they are to be clarified in later chapters (ex. if her plan is to let herself be captured, why the trouble of drilling through the wine cellar, Was it an excuse to recruit Numair?)
Aside from that, any other suggestions would be, nitty-picking if sine wird choices. If you wish to discuss such little things, I would be happy to do so via email or IM, info for both are on my fictionpress frontpage.
Please dont misunderstand,I'm only trying to be helpful. Your story has potential, keep it up.
The story is coming along well, and was an enjoyable read. Any suggestions I could make would be relatively minor changes. Most noticeably of course is the assassins name changing at points.
Some parts seem to be a little unclear, but I couldn't really know at this point if they are to be clarified in later chapters (ex. if her plan is to let herself be captured, why the trouble of drilling through the wine cellar, Was it an excuse to recruit Numair?)
Aside from that, any other suggestions would be, nitty-picking if sine wird choices. If you wish to discuss such little things, I would be happy to do so via email or IM, info for both are on my fictionpress frontpage.
Please dont misunderstand,I'm only trying to be helpful. Your story has potential, keep it up.
5/16/2005 c1 The10thWeasley
Hey, sorry it took me so long to review! I like it better all together like this instead of in parts. I could be wrong, but it seems like you've revised it. I really like it, it's descriptive and the dialogue is very realistic! I like your tone and style and I'm interested to see where this is going! Nice job!
Hey, sorry it took me so long to review! I like it better all together like this instead of in parts. I could be wrong, but it seems like you've revised it. I really like it, it's descriptive and the dialogue is very realistic! I like your tone and style and I'm interested to see where this is going! Nice job!
5/15/2005 c1 14Storysmith
Pretty good. There were a few places where you switched up your verb tenses or left a phrase just dangling there. Nothing major though. Very interesting. The Numair and Ariaena are very interesting. I hope you have some more coming. (And putting it up as one story instead of individual chapter/stroies WILL likely attract more people to it. People are lazy and like things that are all in one place.)Good job, keep it up!Later!
Gata de la Noche
14StorysmithPretty good. There were a few places where you switched up your verb tenses or left a phrase just dangling there. Nothing major though. Very interesting. The Numair and Ariaena are very interesting. I hope you have some more coming. (And putting it up as one story instead of individual chapter/stroies WILL likely attract more people to it. People are lazy and like things that are all in one place.)Good job, keep it up!Later!
Gata de la Noche
5/12/2005 c1 1Vash the stampede45
It is a brilliant work, but it gives a sort of condensed feeling the way its all packed together at one even if it is seperate chapters. All in all I like it and while i am unable to read the whole thing at the moment i think i will enjoy doing so in the future. o an thanks for the review.
may you never have writers block :-p
1Vash the stampede45It is a brilliant work, but it gives a sort of condensed feeling the way its all packed together at one even if it is seperate chapters. All in all I like it and while i am unable to read the whole thing at the moment i think i will enjoy doing so in the future. o an thanks for the review.
may you never have writers block :-p
5/10/2005 c1 kayttea
you did this becasue of me didnt you? i never said i didnt like it a part how you had it i was just wondering why you did it in that way.
i geuss this is a good idea tho for people who are 'nitty pickers'. sorry if you thought i was acting like one.
update your story soon tho ok? bye.
you did this becasue of me didnt you? i never said i didnt like it a part how you had it i was just wondering why you did it in that way.
i geuss this is a good idea tho for people who are 'nitty pickers'. sorry if you thought i was acting like one.
update your story soon tho ok? bye.
5/8/2005 c1 Awkward Sylence
I only read the prologue and the first chapter, but I can tell you right now that you reall have something cool going for you. It's totally awesome. *psst* Read my stuff too, please. _ Much appreciated.
I only read the prologue and the first chapter, but I can tell you right now that you reall have something cool going for you. It's totally awesome. *psst* Read my stuff too, please. _ Much appreciated.