for Eternal Life8/24/2005 c1 
2Lukertin
Lol, I was wondering if people actually wrote things in Chinese and posted them on here, lo and behold! There was you. Meh. The font is too small and I can't read it so I guess I'll do that later cuz i'm lazy and I'm slacking off at work .
So anyway, I'm reading your poem here, and it is very good. The only line I find issue with is "Your next life in heaven no longer wait." which sounds really Fobbish. Other than that, the rhyme is great, the rhythm isn't glaringly off-beat (tho a bit murky in places), so great job!
2LukertinLol, I was wondering if people actually wrote things in Chinese and posted them on here, lo and behold! There was you. Meh. The font is too small and I can't read it so I guess I'll do that later cuz i'm lazy and I'm slacking off at work .
So anyway, I'm reading your poem here, and it is very good. The only line I find issue with is "Your next life in heaven no longer wait." which sounds really Fobbish. Other than that, the rhyme is great, the rhythm isn't glaringly off-beat (tho a bit murky in places), so great job!