3/5/2006 c3 Egypt's Agent of Doom
I loved this story Ian. I liked how you used the good and bad comparing it to light and dark. It was extremely well written, I only wish I had your talent to write like that. I wasen't entirely sure what the purpose of the creature was and I felt that you left me hanging or leading me down a road that had no real destination. That is something to consider. I hope this review helped.
I loved this story Ian. I liked how you used the good and bad comparing it to light and dark. It was extremely well written, I only wish I had your talent to write like that. I wasen't entirely sure what the purpose of the creature was and I felt that you left me hanging or leading me down a road that had no real destination. That is something to consider. I hope this review helped.
9/28/2005 c4 MrCellophane
i'm back ian!i really liked all of them. but i just thought something was weird with We See The Girl. It's Clod In This House and The Raven were both fantastic. and my favorite is The Mausoleum. don't change anything about it. it's, dare i say, perfect.
i'm back ian!i really liked all of them. but i just thought something was weird with We See The Girl. It's Clod In This House and The Raven were both fantastic. and my favorite is The Mausoleum. don't change anything about it. it's, dare i say, perfect.
9/25/2005 c4 Beldavid the Sorcerer
Wow, really, really good. You might be able to fix the misbeats you were talking of with a passive voice, using some "be" verbs to give it an extra beat or two, this is poetry, not an essay, so it would not matter. Besides that, great poem, though it seems a little light and humorous compared to the other stories, and that is why I still assert that the rhyming would be good in this collection, of course in my perspective, being forced to eternally rhyme would be a fate worse than death, especially with my averse disposition to poetry, but your stuff is good, its not all wishy-washy like far to many people who claim to be "master artists."
Wow, really, really good. You might be able to fix the misbeats you were talking of with a passive voice, using some "be" verbs to give it an extra beat or two, this is poetry, not an essay, so it would not matter. Besides that, great poem, though it seems a little light and humorous compared to the other stories, and that is why I still assert that the rhyming would be good in this collection, of course in my perspective, being forced to eternally rhyme would be a fate worse than death, especially with my averse disposition to poetry, but your stuff is good, its not all wishy-washy like far to many people who claim to be "master artists."
7/30/2005 c3 2CrypticIdentity
I'm not really CrypticIdentity, i'm just his friend... really. Wow very well written. Nice undead type effect. Looking forword to reading more of your storys.
I'm not really CrypticIdentity, i'm just his friend... really. Wow very well written. Nice undead type effect. Looking forword to reading more of your storys.
7/17/2005 c4 Azrael-the-pagan
I've never heard of this idea before. GOod job. I should read Poe's again soon...
I've never heard of this idea before. GOod job. I should read Poe's again soon...
7/15/2005 c4 Alethia MS
Hey, this is cool. I've always liked "The Raven", and this is a fun approach to that. I liked the raven's personality and disposition, trying to soothe the man. The rhymes are quite fine, I think. At any rate, better than anything I could accomplish =) It does read a little akwardly in some places, but the meaning and intention of it are not compromised. Good job, I say!
And, good luck on your trip =)
-Alethia M.S
Hey, this is cool. I've always liked "The Raven", and this is a fun approach to that. I liked the raven's personality and disposition, trying to soothe the man. The rhymes are quite fine, I think. At any rate, better than anything I could accomplish =) It does read a little akwardly in some places, but the meaning and intention of it are not compromised. Good job, I say!
And, good luck on your trip =)
-Alethia M.S
7/8/2005 c3 Beldavid the Sorcerer
Good, really good.I really don't know what else to say, easily the best story in the collection so far.
My only criticisms would be about the ending. It is too bright and cheery for the rest of the story, and it comes a bit suddenly. Its not bad, but it could be a tidbit better.
Good, really good.I really don't know what else to say, easily the best story in the collection so far.
My only criticisms would be about the ending. It is too bright and cheery for the rest of the story, and it comes a bit suddenly. Its not bad, but it could be a tidbit better.
6/29/2005 c3 5River of Fire
I have to say, this was your best entry yet, CI. You're doing very well for a scarred person.
The idea of an expanded story topic based on this intrigues me, although I'll probably regret getting involved. Most scary things I get exposed to come back to haunt me later. Pun may or may not be intended.
The story was definitely a good read; it felt very real (insofar as you can believe icy shadow-creatures possessing people through windows). Can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!
I have to say, this was your best entry yet, CI. You're doing very well for a scarred person.
The idea of an expanded story topic based on this intrigues me, although I'll probably regret getting involved. Most scary things I get exposed to come back to haunt me later. Pun may or may not be intended.
The story was definitely a good read; it felt very real (insofar as you can believe icy shadow-creatures possessing people through windows). Can't wait to see what you have in store for us next!
6/29/2005 c1 34Ethereal Kisses
Heya, thanks very much for your kind review. I'm returning the favour ;)
This story is really good - I especially loved the way you twisted the story onto the author to make him/her go through exactly what he/she had written. It shows that sometimes we shouldn't let our imaginations run too wild, unless we're sure of what we'll end up with ...
Anyway, it was awesome and I did see a couple of allusions to Poe - the clock and the way of writing reminded me of him. It's really good, well done.
~ Ethereal Kisses ~
Heya, thanks very much for your kind review. I'm returning the favour ;)
This story is really good - I especially loved the way you twisted the story onto the author to make him/her go through exactly what he/she had written. It shows that sometimes we shouldn't let our imaginations run too wild, unless we're sure of what we'll end up with ...
Anyway, it was awesome and I did see a couple of allusions to Poe - the clock and the way of writing reminded me of him. It's really good, well done.
~ Ethereal Kisses ~
6/24/2005 c3 Alethia MS
Hi, there! Sorry it took so long for me to read this... work has been hell, and when I get home I'm too tired to read. Right now I've a break at work, so I thought I'd stop by.
Now, about the story. Very good! Short, but very good. I found a couple of errs, so I thought I'd point them out, you know, for when you decide to edit this:
"Was *their* anything she could do? Ba-BANG!""In the distance she thought she could (see?) a full moon."
And that was all I could find. It doesn't affect the reading at all, tho'. The mood is quite nicely achieved, and even tho' I had to get up and answer the phone once or twice, I was glued to the story for the most part.
Hope to read more from you soon!
Hugs,Alethia
Hi, there! Sorry it took so long for me to read this... work has been hell, and when I get home I'm too tired to read. Right now I've a break at work, so I thought I'd stop by.
Now, about the story. Very good! Short, but very good. I found a couple of errs, so I thought I'd point them out, you know, for when you decide to edit this:
"Was *their* anything she could do? Ba-BANG!""In the distance she thought she could (see?) a full moon."
And that was all I could find. It doesn't affect the reading at all, tho'. The mood is quite nicely achieved, and even tho' I had to get up and answer the phone once or twice, I was glued to the story for the most part.
Hope to read more from you soon!
Hugs,Alethia
6/3/2005 c2 Beldavid the Sorcerer
One word: Nice.
That is all I am going to say. Hey, in Just a Scrath, CR, you asked for constructive critiscism. So I gave you some in my last review. And why is it that you are acting as if I did not like the story. I thought it was a perfectly good story, I am only trying to help you to write better. Now I am indignant, and will only give you one word in my review dedicated to the actually story/poem it is regarding. Oh, and you should really post The Rhyming, it would fit nicely I belief, and bring about some humor to this collection.
One word: Nice.
That is all I am going to say. Hey, in Just a Scrath, CR, you asked for constructive critiscism. So I gave you some in my last review. And why is it that you are acting as if I did not like the story. I thought it was a perfectly good story, I am only trying to help you to write better. Now I am indignant, and will only give you one word in my review dedicated to the actually story/poem it is regarding. Oh, and you should really post The Rhyming, it would fit nicely I belief, and bring about some humor to this collection.
5/26/2005 c2 Alethia MS
Ep! It reminds me of that creepy picture at grandma's place... it gave me nightmares. And if the nightmares return, I'm blaming you!
*Ahem*
Very well written, even if the verses were interrupted here and there. It gave it a new rhythm, so it's good. Scared me, so, yay for you! =)
Ep! It reminds me of that creepy picture at grandma's place... it gave me nightmares. And if the nightmares return, I'm blaming you!
*Ahem*
Very well written, even if the verses were interrupted here and there. It gave it a new rhythm, so it's good. Scared me, so, yay for you! =)
5/25/2005 c2 5River of Fire
Ughh! *shudders* That was creepy. But then, I had a bad experience with paintings-coming-to-life stories once, so that could have played into it.
I think this was pretty well written. I liked the way you gave the image of the reader being an unwitting observer.
You know, I've often contemplated writing horror, but as yet have been too afraid to delve into the depths of that corner of my imagination. So I have a certain amount of respect for anyone who does delve so deep and returns unscarred. Kudos to you, CI!
Ughh! *shudders* That was creepy. But then, I had a bad experience with paintings-coming-to-life stories once, so that could have played into it.
I think this was pretty well written. I liked the way you gave the image of the reader being an unwitting observer.
You know, I've often contemplated writing horror, but as yet have been too afraid to delve into the depths of that corner of my imagination. So I have a certain amount of respect for anyone who does delve so deep and returns unscarred. Kudos to you, CI!