for legs of a goddess12/6/2021 c1 
2SidneyVisser
The first few paragraphs really gripped my attention. I love the plot but if I had to add something; try to make the paragraphs a bit shorter or spread them out, and the use of one to many O's is a bit shoddy.
2SidneyVisserThe first few paragraphs really gripped my attention. I love the plot but if I had to add something; try to make the paragraphs a bit shorter or spread them out, and the use of one to many O's is a bit shoddy.
7/5/2005 c2 anushkaP
gotta b emily. now thats much better. the humor b4 da tension is a gud idea. da suspect thing aint really working, u've made all da girls m8s so dere aint individual suspects.luv molar:-)
gotta b emily. now thats much better. the humor b4 da tension is a gud idea. da suspect thing aint really working, u've made all da girls m8s so dere aint individual suspects.luv molar:-)
7/5/2005 c1 anushkaP
cool first start to the story. its interesting and gripping. however, the part wher u go 'she ran and ran...' was kinda yesr7. come on, from what i read i kno u can do better.luv molar:-)
cool first start to the story. its interesting and gripping. however, the part wher u go 'she ran and ran...' was kinda yesr7. come on, from what i read i kno u can do better.luv molar:-)