for Coward9/27/2005 c1 
8Mr. Singh is back
Well, the little piece could've used a rhyme scheme and possibly better line-size consistency from beginning to end. Your structure was way off.
But, the phrases you use and your choice of individual words were very clever and original (especially in the last four lines). And the message you were trying to put out was made perfectly clear and persuasively presented. Overall, great job.
8Mr. Singh is backWell, the little piece could've used a rhyme scheme and possibly better line-size consistency from beginning to end. Your structure was way off.
But, the phrases you use and your choice of individual words were very clever and original (especially in the last four lines). And the message you were trying to put out was made perfectly clear and persuasively presented. Overall, great job.
9/18/2005 c1 33lostfish
Okay, this is how I interpreted your poem, (which was good by the way)
So, you know how there are those people who are, "I want to die." and all that? Maybe some of them really do, maybe some of them are goth wannabes, but not here to debate that. Any who...well, thats their opinion and there's that person who wants to live life all happy, (sorry if i'm not making sense) and then its like they're the coward. Well, your poem puts a new meaning to coward. The people who are cowards are the ones who don't want to face life and its troubles.
Maybe thats not what you were aiming at, but its what I think.
Ah, yes. Well, I was reading your profile and I noticed how you said not to thank you about reviewing and just email you, well I'll just thank you now, okies? Thanks.
lol. I'll be waiting for more of your stuff.
33lostfishOkay, this is how I interpreted your poem, (which was good by the way)
So, you know how there are those people who are, "I want to die." and all that? Maybe some of them really do, maybe some of them are goth wannabes, but not here to debate that. Any who...well, thats their opinion and there's that person who wants to live life all happy, (sorry if i'm not making sense) and then its like they're the coward. Well, your poem puts a new meaning to coward. The people who are cowards are the ones who don't want to face life and its troubles.
Maybe thats not what you were aiming at, but its what I think.
Ah, yes. Well, I was reading your profile and I noticed how you said not to thank you about reviewing and just email you, well I'll just thank you now, okies? Thanks.
lol. I'll be waiting for more of your stuff.
7/14/2005 c1 1Chika Minase
Hey, I really owe this review to you don't I? Sorry it's taken me so long to thank you for reviewing my very first story.So about this poem; I can relate to it. It's well-written and engaging. I can see from the summaries that most of your stories/poems are about pain. Hopefully those summaries don't sum up your life as well. But keep writing, there's a depth and meaning to every piece you've produced.
1Chika MinaseHey, I really owe this review to you don't I? Sorry it's taken me so long to thank you for reviewing my very first story.So about this poem; I can relate to it. It's well-written and engaging. I can see from the summaries that most of your stories/poems are about pain. Hopefully those summaries don't sum up your life as well. But keep writing, there's a depth and meaning to every piece you've produced.
7/8/2005 c1 allyburner
Wow... it's beautiful. I love it. You should try get it published somewhere or somehting. I love it how you can express all that emotion in words. I envy you. -Ally B.
Wow... it's beautiful. I love it. You should try get it published somewhere or somehting. I love it how you can express all that emotion in words. I envy you. -Ally B.
7/7/2005 c1 4RageAn
nice touch with your poems..., my kind of style. Do you believe that a writter's work is a reflection of his/her experience in life? ^_^
4RageAnnice touch with your poems..., my kind of style. Do you believe that a writter's work is a reflection of his/her experience in life? ^_^
7/7/2005 c1 9Rosemarykiss
Wow, this is really well-written. You don't need to say a lot to get your point across -_-
9RosemarykissWow, this is really well-written. You don't need to say a lot to get your point across -_-
7/2/2005 c1 simpletonsgrin
I'm glad someone looks at suicide past the surface... I understand life is really hard for a lot of us to bear, but suicide is not only cowardly, it's also selfish. i wish people looked at it more critically, instead of always making everything into pity-parties, and not focusing on what it mught do to the people around them. Thanks for a refreshing look at life and death.
(thanks also for your extremely flattering review.)
I'm glad someone looks at suicide past the surface... I understand life is really hard for a lot of us to bear, but suicide is not only cowardly, it's also selfish. i wish people looked at it more critically, instead of always making everything into pity-parties, and not focusing on what it mught do to the people around them. Thanks for a refreshing look at life and death.
(thanks also for your extremely flattering review.)
7/2/2005 c1 63lackluster
nicely done "My greatest pain is staying alive- and I’m still breathing…" that line just stands out to me...great work!
~tuesday
63lacklusternicely done "My greatest pain is staying alive- and I’m still breathing…" that line just stands out to me...great work!
~tuesday
6/16/2005 c1 7Syns
The truth and strength behind this poem is definately something I'll hold onto. So well written, and emotions so blunt and true. Mixing with hate.
I truly loved it.
And, even though I'm mad you deleted your story, I shall keep reading your works just for this.
You are truly inspiring.
7SynsThe truth and strength behind this poem is definately something I'll hold onto. So well written, and emotions so blunt and true. Mixing with hate.
I truly loved it.
And, even though I'm mad you deleted your story, I shall keep reading your works just for this.
You are truly inspiring.
6/16/2005 c1 141AllyCred
this is amazing...you are so right...i know what this is like...well done...i love it. lots of love ~AllyCred~
141AllyCredthis is amazing...you are so right...i know what this is like...well done...i love it. lots of love ~AllyCred~
5/29/2005 c1 4swaggering curses
Amen, I've always said the same thing. =/ Be wary of melodrama in your poem, though. You convey your emotion well. Nice job! =)
4swaggering cursesAmen, I've always said the same thing. =/ Be wary of melodrama in your poem, though. You convey your emotion well. Nice job! =)
5/27/2005 c1 27pennaroyaltea
i can actually really relate to this (you know what i mean) and that it takes more courage and it shows more strength to suffer but stay in there then it does to just let go.-royal
27pennaroyalteai can actually really relate to this (you know what i mean) and that it takes more courage and it shows more strength to suffer but stay in there then it does to just let go.-royal