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10/17/2005 c14 Grey Orchid
Fire-breathing lesbians?

That's it, i'm going home...

(Inside head is the sound of someone going downstairs, closing a door and driving a car)

Temple of War eh?

Sounds like the White House...
9/28/2005 c13 Grey Orchid
So the couple Ashley and Zachery is finally in the City of Hell eh?

Ha ha, Rhea mushed those Ribtwisters...Rhea's like the cocktwister...
9/15/2005 c12 Greu Orchid
She fucking did it. She figured the Pandimonium trick.

*Says it a few times, then ends up getting squashed by a trap door.

Cool, so she'll be seeing Ethan soon right? That'd be funny..
9/8/2005 c11 Grey Orchid
So Zach's having strange dreams

So Ashley's now offically titled the Goddess of Failures.

So Ethan managed to escape from the shear-wielding pshycopaths and ended up in someone's car, and realises that he was in Pandemonium. Ha ha...unlucky son of a bitch

So...six days till the deadline?

Well...things are...ALMOST coming together...ALMOST.
8/29/2005 c10 Grey Orchid
I like those Reaper dudes.

" What the fuck is a library? "

I hope they have fun playing Cat N Mouse. Ethan must be having the time of his life.

Second letter eh? Same eyelid, same print, and for some reason...Zach having one of those times when he ehars the gods of Moon and Sun.

And Bench Lady said " Baal and Astrate'S second letter ". Does that mean it actually belongs to the Gods?

And that damn Shipment code thing, is that like a riddle? Maybe all this is a fake, a distraction towards something bigger...

Well...things are making some sense and then it gets weirder...
8/24/2005 c9 Grey Orchid
So the trapdoor was to Pandemonium? Awsome. Ha ha, the beginning was cool, i wish Teachers were speachless like that.

And now we meet some new people. So in and old tale, there was even a trapdoor? Cool...wonder if those kids still survived.

And now we meet Ethan, in his first few minutes in Pandimonium. Now i wonder why the anagram was so important if it just opened a trapdoor, leading into the weirdest world known to...most man.

But i have to wait. As you said, things get weirder before they even start to make sense.

P.S: NO weird lady on bench? Surely she must have some news...
8/2/2005 c5 shelivesinyournightmares
im so tired and i cant go to bed cuz i want to finish reading the story.why does it have to be so exciting.well peace im going to continue reading. ~paige
8/2/2005 c7 Grey Orchid
Ha ha, yeah, nobody likes old music nomore... i like Beethoven...i can play Fur Elise at least.

Now when the Bench-Lady " The girl has opened a trapdoor " was that referring to Rachel saying " Quit being so Paranoid "? She seemed like she didn;t want to, or maybe she didn't have the inetention of saying it

But as you said, it gets weirder and weirder before any of it makes sense. Maybe some of the clues are like red herrings or something
7/27/2005 c1 5angelswing
Going to review as I read...Chapter 1: Wow. That would be so cool! Yet so disgusting...To find an eyelid on my front step, I mean.Chapter 2: Is it just me, or is Zach's mom a little out of it? ^_^ I like Zach. He reminds me of a friend of mine. Baal and Astarte? I remember a Baal from the Bible. A false god. And Astarte makes me think 'Egyptian' for some reason...The 'Bench-Lady' is creepy.Chapter 3: Oh yes, I absolutely LOVE Zach. He's so much like my best friend, it's scary. Especially with the old movies thing. Yeah, Zach's mom definately scares me. Wowz. Creepy dream. Um...how'd Bench-Lady know about the dream?Chapter 4: I'm so into this story. You've trapped me in it. I love it! Ew. Scary old dude. Just like the Bench-Lady.I'm sorry I can't read anymore right now. I'm leaving for a few days to work as a counselor at a camp. I'll try to finish your story when I get back. But for now, I love it, and can't wait to finish it!
7/26/2005 c6 Grey Orchid
Oh so that anagram thing leads to the word of the City of Hell?

Wait...I GOT IT

Maybe that man in the coat and that bench lady are King and Queen of the City of Hell! And they worship Baal and Astrate...boy that's a fucking long shot.

Keep going!
7/20/2005 c1 Grey Orchid
I love how this is going. Started off with an envolope, and it stated to get weirder and weirder.

I love clues that lead to something. Let's look at the clue table shall we?

*An envolope containing an eyelid, with a symbol of a sun and moon and also a sentence entitled " Give us the shipment code now and we will release him. "

And the sentence board:

*world is a funny little place, even funnier things hidden beneath it

*don’t fall through any trapdoors, Ashley

*two more letters O U – it’s an anagram

*? no, it’s a surprise

what about the flowers?

right, I’ll buy them myself

they’ll look great with the ?

And to what we already know now:

Baal (God of Sun) and Astrate (The goddess of moon)ressemble the logo of the envolope

Man...where's Batman when you need him?

I'll wait for the next chpater so then i can put the evidense a bit more together
6/7/2005 c1 12TesubCalle
You're off to an intriguing start so far.

There's something quite unsettling about the thought that the elderly lady is keeping tabs on Ashley's actions.

If I have one nitpick, it's that it was quite jarring to have a certain 4-letter word coming from a 15-year-old girl. Maybe I'm completely out of touch with reality, but it seemed a little much for a girl. Just a simple "what the - ?" would suffice, if you ask me.

On to chapter 2!
6/7/2005 c2 account of no account
The eyebrow thing is really, really creepy. Mostly this is just... oddness, though-not much real tension, just a lot of strung-together odd events. Your writing style's pretty good, and I didn't see any typos, so... keep it up!
6/5/2005 c2 rose
Very msterious, good. I like all the weirdness stuff. What's with the lady?
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