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6/21/2005 c4 ellabella
oh, you answered some questions; like why she was kidnapped. well, they're not really answers but they tell us the NATURE of the kidnapping. being that they're being paid to do it!

I think James likes the fact that she has a bit of backbone, one instance being in this chapter where she attempts to attain the key. he sort of went straight back to sleep indicating a certain egotism he has, in the confidence that he would know if she were to leave. I like how you ended the chapter with James closing off the stream of conversation, not allowing Fiona to continue with a line her questioning yet giving her an answer. It also asserts his power over her and reminds us (the audience) that they are in power struggle. I went back to have a look at the people who have reviewed thus far- don't feel pressured to do larger chapters, the chapter sizes now are fine. this chapter however had a lot more dialogue and not much was really described because of it.

I think there needs to be a nice balance between description and dialogue... you don't need to try and write fabulous descriptions because you already do that. Just add a bit more between dialogue, for instance the part where you write her shifting uncomfortable on the bed towards then end of the chapter. it reminded us of where they were- in bed. I loved how you wrote the first chapter; it established the scene and tone.

I also liked a part in the second chapter A LOT... I mentioned it before. it was when her skirt snagged on the rosebushes. It some how added to feel (through the tugging on her dress), tone (through the associations with roses and thorns... thorns are harsh) and imagery because you used the words so well (silently, quietly, hurried, hidden etc.). I can't get over it, I’ve never liked a describing paragraph this well on FP ever. You have this ability to capture the moment. I don't know if anyone has ever told you that, but you do. It’s amazing. Anyway I had better go. I have so much to catch up on after my week of school sick. cya later

Ellabella
6/15/2005 c3 3Krystal Nickle
so far i really like this story. i think my favorite part was when she was trying to sneak out and james told her that she was just making his job easy. i laughed. you are a pretty good author but i have one qualm-can you make your chapters longer? i mean, its like you tease us with these short but really good chapters every time you update! so yeah, update again soon! thanks!
6/14/2005 c3 49Endowment's Seraph
this was great. ah and the relationship grows. lovely. write more soon~Mel
6/14/2005 c3 1PhoenixFire415
Ahahahahaha! This is good! I feel bad for poor Fiona, don't you? And I completely love the scenarios you put in this chapter! I am even more captivated than before! Anyways, keep up the good work!
6/14/2005 c3 1Limegreenqueen
wow i really like this story. the chemistry between them is wow. at first i thought that her blake was going to steal her but i guess not. who is this james anyways. I like him but is he related to someone titled or just a thief like she said. If her mom and dad don't approve of her with blake i don't think they will like james. well hurry and update because i have a thousand ideas that i think might happen in this story but i need to see where you want this story to go after all you are the writter. keep writing you have a good hand love karla aka limegreenqueen
6/14/2005 c3 10Eet
This is getting really good. Great chapter. Please update soon!
6/14/2005 c3 42missmichellini
aww! james is such a sweetie! i love this. fiona is so cool! lol, this is such a charming!

can't w8 for a new chappie!
6/13/2005 c3 uusernname
Ooh, he sounds... Interesting, lol. Update!
6/13/2005 c2 ellabella
LOL, i forgot to review chapter two so i thought i'd drop one in after i did chapter three. sorry about that, i remember reading this it's just that my computer decided that everytime i click on the sumbit a review button it would freeze the window. i forgot to send a review when it started working again. how horrible of me. you probably thought i had run away... or not. you know. so i trust that the intent behind her kidnapping will become known in later chapters? i remember reading earlier in the chapter that the rose bushes had snagged at her skirt. that was a nice effect there. it really adds to the atmosphere and sound and touch senses. good job. are you going to do POV's from her families point of view? and james? he is the romantic figure? what is the deal with lord terrance? did he organise the kidnapping or was it lord ainsworth for some unknown reason? or was it just a simple "we-want-money-lets-bribe-someone" kidnapping? hell, it could have been her family. so many questions, so few answers. of course you can't answer them, it would give away the plot after all. i can't wait until we find out who organised it all. i'd think it was great if it were lord terrance who set it up only to discover that she had fallen for james. ouch. so much complication, such little time. anywho. i must stop badgering you and let you and let write. i can't wait until chapter four!

ellabella
6/13/2005 c3 ellabella
lol, i like that phrase. "better the devil you know then the devil you don't". im curious. i never noticed before but did gentry speak with contractions? i'm sure you know but in case you don't a contraction is don't instead of do not, or doesn't instead of does not- the words are contracted together... at least i think that is what they are. i don't know if where i come from has different terminology to you or what but yeah. did they speak with contractions? i can never remember. anywho. i loved it, the whole button thing was a bit intimate which is always good. keep up the great work. i can't wait until you update. cya!

ellabella
6/4/2005 c2 missmichellini
lol this is exactly the sort of thing kidnappers would do, i love how this is so REALISTIC! i'm surprised fiona hasn't done anything rash yet, oh well, adds to the terrified-angry-prisoner effect to keep silent and furious.

great chapter!
6/4/2005 c2 1PhoenixFire415
I love this! This is extremely captivating! Er...um...ya lame joke. But it is! I love this! Keep up the good work!
6/4/2005 c2 Under
AGH! Hurry up and update! pwease... ;)
6/4/2005 c2 19Hydie
dude...this looks like it's going to be good! *puts on favorites list*
6/4/2005 c2 10Eet
This is great! Keep writing!
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