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for Double, Double, Toil, and Tiffany's?

8/5/2005 c4 1Clodhopper
great ending. i liked this chapter a lot. i thought the first half was pretty funny, grandam is such a clever little character. she's great as a grandmother type. i would "gag" too. maybe the "dum duh duh dum" music (at least it twice) was a BIT much. thats all for the CC!

8/1/2005 c4 19Lara Bykirk
I really liked the second half of the chapter, introducing Zacharius. Both he and his grandmother seem like very interesting characters. The first half of the chapter was funny, but it was a trifle confusing-nothing that a little editing couldn't fix. Really good story.
8/1/2005 c2 Lara Bykirk
I loved that little exchange. Tasia's character is coming out well. I would suggest, however, adding just a few details about the world that they're in-is everyone magical in some way (for example, is Tim)? What other types of magic doers are there, other than the pixies and witches you've already mentioned?
8/1/2005 c1 Lara Bykirk
I really liked this story so far! The premise is very interesting, and you have a wonderful touch for humor. The characters are wonderfully weird, without being out-and-out stereotypes. By the way, thanks for reveiwing "The Curious Case of the Red Fan", which I am a co-author of.
7/31/2005 c4 19Phoenix-ofthe-Goldenrose
Hilarious! I can't wait to see how all this turns out. Update soon!
7/31/2005 c1 Phoenix-ofthe-Goldenrose
Grandam is not your normal grandma...great description of her! It made me burst out laughing. great story so far. Going to next chapter...
7/31/2005 c4 1Infinite Abyss
This is pretty good. Update soon.
7/30/2005 c1 2temblance
Oh man, I love the humor in this! It's so light, and easy to read. It sounds like if you put Tasia's magic into Jestine's body you would have one perfect person...does that make any sense? Well...I really liked it, and I will keep going when I have time.

7/29/2005 c4 4Chicanery A. Beguile
O, this chapter's interesting!
7/28/2005 c1 1Vagrance
Grandam and Tasia sound like interesting people, and the personal voice really comes through. I really like the way things are flowing in the story. Anyhow, I'm glad you like my work, and don't worry, I welcome detailed reviews. I shall read some more of your work if I find more time.
7/28/2005 c4 Clodhopper
I noticed a lot of typos near the beginning. Try going over the chapter a few times to make sure you have all the typos and grammar and punctuation just right. Here: '...when I hiss, “Do you want to talk to Grandam?”, she quieted down.' The comma after Grandam shouldn't be there, just the question mark and quotations. You're missing a word, too: '...finally getting to his brain, if had one to start out with...' The word 'he' is missing between 'if' and 'had'. One quick comment on punctuation before I move on: Your use of dashes is too much. Some places you have dashes that just don't need to be there, and other places are dashes that could be commas or parenthesis instead.

Again, as with the last chapter, the point of view change doesn't really make too much sense. I can't wait to see how each section ties in, but the point of view changes make it a little confusing how it flips back and forth from first to third. I can understand how you need to flip like that because it's hard to get the entire story from just one person's pov, which is why third person omniscient is sometimes the best way to go.

I like how you're pretty consistent with Tasia's narration staying in present tense format and not switching back and forth from present to past. I only saw one area, and it was a minor spot, where you have a past tense spot. It was here: '...when I hiss, "Do you want to talk to Grandam?" she quieted down.' Change "quieted" to "quiets".

Okay, enough of my being picky. Good job on this chapter as well. Can't wait for the next update.

7/28/2005 c3 Clodhopper
It's a tad bit confusing how you start off the story in first person, but here in chapter 3 you switch to third person. I was slightly baffled until I read it a second time and noticed "The home of the Willencall Line" at the top. If the story is taking place from Tasia's first person pov, why are we suddenly going to third person pov? It can't be her telling the story here, that much is obvious.

Anyways, other than my pickiness there, it was good. "Mary Agnes the flirt" cuteness.

Off for more.

7/28/2005 c2 1Clodhopper
Hello, there.

This was a good chapter. Kept my interest the whole way through, which has proved to be quite a feat with a lot of ficpress stories.

“No, actually, I’m a spy from Mars in this stunningly inconspicuous disguise hiding out in the crime capital of Earth to make sure all the mochachinos are made correctly, because of course, that un-exact amount of creamer could land you in the big house, my friend.” I LOVE THAT! So funny. I really like Tasia.

I like how not every one of your characters are perfect. Perfection is too...blah. Too many people like to make all of their characters too perfect, but in order to be perfect, there have to be some flaws. On that note, Tasia is perfect in her own way.

Wonderful job. Onward I go!

7/12/2005 c3 5Rikku Abdul
Funny chapter. I especially liked the way you described Muriel, being able to carry elephants in the bags under her eyes and her wrinkles having wrinkles. Funny, and gives a clear image of what she's like.
7/12/2005 c2 Rikku Abdul
Nice and funny. It could be a little longer, though.

“No, actually, I’m a spy from Mars in this stunningly inconspicuous disguise hiding out in the crime capital of Earth to make sure all the mochachinos are made correctly, because of course, that un-exact amount of creamer could land you in the big house, my friend.” Lol. Love that line!
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