
3/4/2007 c10
6odman01
Very fun story so far! Some paragraphs seem too long to me, and the dialogue gets a little confusing when there are more than two people on the scene, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter.

Very fun story so far! Some paragraphs seem too long to me, and the dialogue gets a little confusing when there are more than two people on the scene, but I'm looking forward to the next chapter.
3/1/2007 c10 feeder
This is really good. I like the idea of the Mergement Principle, and how Markom is so desperate to stay with his dragon. I'm wondering if Shanie is going to end up with Markom's dragon?
The names in this story are great, Mr Trite is the best name, and he's a good character too.
It's also good that she has to work for her money instead of inheriting a fortune etc.
By the way, thanks for the review, much appreciated.
This is really good. I like the idea of the Mergement Principle, and how Markom is so desperate to stay with his dragon. I'm wondering if Shanie is going to end up with Markom's dragon?
The names in this story are great, Mr Trite is the best name, and he's a good character too.
It's also good that she has to work for her money instead of inheriting a fortune etc.
By the way, thanks for the review, much appreciated.
1/26/2007 c9 Queen maab
This story is bad ass. It is definitely a very solid fantasy story. A cross between Joust and Tamora Peirce descricptive and capturing.
Well done
This story is bad ass. It is definitely a very solid fantasy story. A cross between Joust and Tamora Peirce descricptive and capturing.
Well done
3/8/2006 c1 anonymous
how long will it take you to update? is it really that hard? why do you guys write a story if you can't even update?
how long will it take you to update? is it really that hard? why do you guys write a story if you can't even update?
11/23/2005 c8
5bluewaves64
Perhaps i haven't read this in quite a while, so i sort of forgot about certain characters and stuff.. bt i guess i'll remember them again as i read on... anyway, update soon!

Perhaps i haven't read this in quite a while, so i sort of forgot about certain characters and stuff.. bt i guess i'll remember them again as i read on... anyway, update soon!
10/19/2005 c8
5Neniel Sildurien
Hi! I just came across this story and I really liked it! I have enjoyed the 'universe' you have created immensely and the plot has me securely boound in my seat, hoping there will be more of this coming up! This is great stuff, although to be honest I'm looking forward to meeting more dragons and Shanie's 'mate' later on in the training! Please don't take too long to update!

Hi! I just came across this story and I really liked it! I have enjoyed the 'universe' you have created immensely and the plot has me securely boound in my seat, hoping there will be more of this coming up! This is great stuff, although to be honest I'm looking forward to meeting more dragons and Shanie's 'mate' later on in the training! Please don't take too long to update!
10/18/2005 c8
175The Random Witness
YAY! CHAP 8! I was beginning to think you had left this one behind! I like it! it has me ready and waiting for the next chaps! I wonder tho, will she end up meeting her father anyway? if so would he be a draconight or may be the blacksmith..hm! But do not tell me i shall keep reading to find out! ~TRW

YAY! CHAP 8! I was beginning to think you had left this one behind! I like it! it has me ready and waiting for the next chaps! I wonder tho, will she end up meeting her father anyway? if so would he be a draconight or may be the blacksmith..hm! But do not tell me i shall keep reading to find out! ~TRW
10/17/2005 c8
33Nicole.A
Yay! You updated! This story is still one of my favorites. Very well written. Anyways, keep up the great writing and don't forget to have fun with it.
~**Nicole**~

Yay! You updated! This story is still one of my favorites. Very well written. Anyways, keep up the great writing and don't forget to have fun with it.
~**Nicole**~
6/22/2005 c7
175The Random Witness
This was a good chapter, you described the markets well, and the sword sounded like it was really cool. but i thought her meeting with the draconight was a bit brief, for just as she decide to duel it skiped any description of it to the "day after"..so did they duel or did he realise her fear of before and didn't? Plus does kom find out and get angry?You've left me in wonder! so i will Diligently await the next chapter!~TRW

This was a good chapter, you described the markets well, and the sword sounded like it was really cool. but i thought her meeting with the draconight was a bit brief, for just as she decide to duel it skiped any description of it to the "day after"..so did they duel or did he realise her fear of before and didn't? Plus does kom find out and get angry?You've left me in wonder! so i will Diligently await the next chapter!~TRW
6/21/2005 c7
33Nicole.A
I don't know how you do it. You've mangaged to write another awesome chapter. Can't wait for the next. Just a reminder, I'll stick with ya till the end. And that is a promise.
~**Nicole**~

I don't know how you do it. You've mangaged to write another awesome chapter. Can't wait for the next. Just a reminder, I'll stick with ya till the end. And that is a promise.
~**Nicole**~
6/20/2005 c7
65Thorn's-girl
Cheers, my friend. You have me hooked. I stopped reading fantasy stuff a while back, as it had gotten to generic, but this is most refreshing. Your characters are entertaining and fun to read. The only problem i see is one I run into a lot when writing longer stuff, which is a tendency to lose track of the chracter's personality. Naturally, you are still in the draft process so you have plenty of time to figure out how you want Shanie to be, but she seems to waver a little between personalities. I occasionally have to sit down and make one of those horrid "character sheets" teachers made us do in grade school (thank god there is less of that in highschool) that I so hated, but work quite well when trying to feel out how you want your kiddie to be seen by the public. You probably have a very clear idea in mind - it shows, which is a good thing, but perhaps a little more developemnt. Apart from that, the plot moves along at a good pace, and doesn't lose the reader. the parts about the gargoyles (i read the whole thing then reviewed, so this covers a lot)is interestinng, but a little confusing, as is the scene with the draconian knight. Overall, this is fantastic. Keep posting!

Cheers, my friend. You have me hooked. I stopped reading fantasy stuff a while back, as it had gotten to generic, but this is most refreshing. Your characters are entertaining and fun to read. The only problem i see is one I run into a lot when writing longer stuff, which is a tendency to lose track of the chracter's personality. Naturally, you are still in the draft process so you have plenty of time to figure out how you want Shanie to be, but she seems to waver a little between personalities. I occasionally have to sit down and make one of those horrid "character sheets" teachers made us do in grade school (thank god there is less of that in highschool) that I so hated, but work quite well when trying to feel out how you want your kiddie to be seen by the public. You probably have a very clear idea in mind - it shows, which is a good thing, but perhaps a little more developemnt. Apart from that, the plot moves along at a good pace, and doesn't lose the reader. the parts about the gargoyles (i read the whole thing then reviewed, so this covers a lot)is interestinng, but a little confusing, as is the scene with the draconian knight. Overall, this is fantastic. Keep posting!
6/19/2005 c7
5bluewaves64
Hey i really like your story... an interesting plot that keeps me wondering what will happen next... but i agree with silver fox that for chap 7, the first paragraph was too long... you might want to divide it into smaller paragraphs... There was also one part that i was a little confused about... the part whereby Shane was conversing with the draconight... did they have the duel? It's quite sudden that there was a change in scene.. perhaps u might want to add a break or something like that... other than that,your story's really good... still love the way you described the actions and stuff... Your story also has much dialogue, making it more lively and real... i'll continue reading your story, so do update soon! oh and i'm putting u under my favourites :)

Hey i really like your story... an interesting plot that keeps me wondering what will happen next... but i agree with silver fox that for chap 7, the first paragraph was too long... you might want to divide it into smaller paragraphs... There was also one part that i was a little confused about... the part whereby Shane was conversing with the draconight... did they have the duel? It's quite sudden that there was a change in scene.. perhaps u might want to add a break or something like that... other than that,your story's really good... still love the way you described the actions and stuff... Your story also has much dialogue, making it more lively and real... i'll continue reading your story, so do update soon! oh and i'm putting u under my favourites :)
6/19/2005 c7 Silver Fox
Yay! Another great chappie! I can't wait for the next ones! A little criticism here, the first paragraph seems really really big, a little overwhelming at first... you should try to make that one paragraph into multiple smaller ones. Other than that, I liked this chapter! Shanie gets to spar with a real draconight! :) I do write a little bit, and I am thinking of getting a name on fictionpress. It would be fun. Your welcome, and you can expect me to be here until the story ends! :)
Yay! Another great chappie! I can't wait for the next ones! A little criticism here, the first paragraph seems really really big, a little overwhelming at first... you should try to make that one paragraph into multiple smaller ones. Other than that, I liked this chapter! Shanie gets to spar with a real draconight! :) I do write a little bit, and I am thinking of getting a name on fictionpress. It would be fun. Your welcome, and you can expect me to be here until the story ends! :)
6/17/2005 c6
33Nicole.A
Once again...another great chapter. I just love this story. It's very very good. Keep up the great writing.
~**Nicole**~

Once again...another great chapter. I just love this story. It's very very good. Keep up the great writing.
~**Nicole**~
6/17/2005 c4
5bluewaves64
Nice story! Draconights seem so cool... haha... didn't have time to finish the rest of the story today, but i will when i have the time... you might like to add more descriptions of your characters (e.g. physical features like eyes and hair and stuff...) to leave a better impression of them to the readers... I liked the way you described motion and actions cos they were very detailed... makes your story interesting... good job and write more! :)

Nice story! Draconights seem so cool... haha... didn't have time to finish the rest of the story today, but i will when i have the time... you might like to add more descriptions of your characters (e.g. physical features like eyes and hair and stuff...) to leave a better impression of them to the readers... I liked the way you described motion and actions cos they were very detailed... makes your story interesting... good job and write more! :)