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for Spring Night

7/21/2005 c1 148fergyness
fixed the tenses 4 ya

hope it sounds a lil bit better

MORE POEMS ON THE WAY PEOPLE

-ferg-
6/20/2005 c1 4malibabi13
I likey!:)
6/2/2005 c1 32pointythings
Hi! This is pretty good; it has some nice images. I also like the repetition of the heavens leaking down.

I think the rhythm goes off in a lot of places, though, and a lot of the rhyming seems forced. Maybe this would work better as a free verse poem? Just a thought. Also, you switch tenses in the middle. Might want to look at that.Anywho, keep writing!~pointythings~

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