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4/27/2006 c1 Holly
Hi cuz. I hear you groan. Mwahahaha...Seriously, Just read it and great plot, but not brilliantly written. Some things are unclear and you should reinforce them. Example, what exactly did the character do to the air headed chick at the beginning, when did she wae up...blah. It becomes obvious, eventually, but "if a sentence has to be reread it's a bad one".Byee. Know you'll miss me...
7/25/2005 c1 Peior
hello again...

...um...

i read it a couple of minutes ago...and...it...um...

...was really...um...GOOD...YER THATS IT...GOOD!

~lots of sarcasm

...Peior...
6/3/2005 c1 Nightmare-Chibi
That was very nice. Very well written. (Although a few bits of it seemed rushed) I loved the emotion in it.
6/2/2005 c1 Nocturnal Darkness
Short 'n' sweet. It could've been longer so that we could've felt more for the characters, but it's a good piece nonetheless.
6/2/2005 c1 8Slowly Sinking
Love the sense of hope at the end, the only thing I would say is that a lot of your sentences are very similar in length; this makes the flow stilted and it's harder for the reader to fully engage in the words. But otherwise, well written and very powerful.
6/2/2005 c1 9Karlee
Wow.. that made my stomach turn.. powerfull and so sad.. wow..

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