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12/28/2005 c1 Stranger
Hehe . . . Sy . . . no love story, please! You need to post the seccond chapter, my friend (since I finally got the notebook back to you). ;-)
12/3/2005 c1 3MidSummersRose
Graet story! I love how you made the perfect mideival feeling and all. There were a few spelling errors, but no matter. Great job and keep it up!

P.S.-Thanks for reviewing my poem! :)

12/2/2005 c1 132samwise606
Very good, classic fantasy at its finest! You did a good job of setting up the mideval/fantasy feel at the beginning, just because of the traders and bargaining and everything...reminded me of Sloan and then the traders in the beginning of Eragon. The personalities were well-developed too, like Sy was this friendly outgoing guy, obviously a leader, and then Ayan is just cold and closed and solitary...And Quellyn is pretty cool too. Since they're supposed to be rescuing a princess, and since the summary said something about a dragon, I assume there's going to be more...I hope so at least. Tell all your friends who helped that they did a great job. Was someon'e name really Anne Onymous?-Samwise
12/1/2005 c1 2Syfy
This is really good. The only thing is that I suggest you check your spellings carefully. Other than that, keep it going!
11/19/2005 c1 3KrazieShadowNinja
This is pretty good! I just sort of don't understand about all the sudden Sy just decided for them to go. But oh well. I read your profile, cuz I was bored. That's cool that Paolini wrote back! I wish I could write him about some of the problems I'm having. Anyway, update soon!
8/6/2005 c1 70Aryanda
oh, i love Sy! please continue, as you have left at a very opportune spot. great job.
7/12/2005 c1 3namida yuki
First of all, I love the names. I believe a name affects how the character is projected into the mind of the reader. Sy, Ayan and Quellyn. (Is there going to be a love story between Sy and Ayan? hehe) Good intro, too. You managed to get the characters together quickly, and I do hope the next move at a faster phase since it's supposed to be an adventure.

I noticed something though, you write "redhead" rather inconsistently, sometimes with a - and sometimes as two separate words. (I think it's just one word?) I like the dialogue, it's something I can really get into, but a lot of parts, like this one-

"Fifty""Get out of my store""Raise your price"

seems rather awkward without punctuation marks. You should recheck your work. ΓΌ And I agree with Mad Aristocrat about putting a bit more description.
7/7/2005 c1 28Accalia Aeryn
This is a very interesting story. Good job though, I liked it!
6/23/2005 c1 1Mad Aristocrat
I like your policy. I'm like that too. Now for the review.

Okay. This seems to be off to a good start. I like that the characters names aren't extraordinarily hard first of all. Also the idea of finding the princess seems to be a good adventure to set on as well.

The only things I could probably pick at is - Try to put in a bit more descriptions and check your grammar a bit. My grammar isn't all that great either - But yours isn't really big things. Like sometimes you just didn't indent between words or you spelt 'taht' instead of 'that'. That's all really.

Update soon. I'll try - and I'll read more stuff after I update and get reviews. Policies rock!
6/23/2005 c1 7firefairy27
That was really good. Kind of a dungeons and Dragons adventure thing going on here, and that's always fun. And yes, in reply to what you wrote on my poem, I do keep up on my policy.TaTa~fairy~
6/4/2005 c1 3Lady Isaiah
You're off to a great start. I love the three differences in characters, but one thing. Watch that punctuation.

Okay, over to buisness. I was thinking that I will post on Fictionpress on "How to Write Better" or something along those lines on tips and hints on how to write a better novel. And I know that it won't get you published PUBLISHED, but, it's a step closer to getting in on top of the editor's pile.

And then ou can submit in a review the "work" or whatever that I give. Or it'll be just plain reviews. Most of the time, there won't be work. It's mostly rules.

So what do you think?

C U!

6/4/2005 c1 2ZePuKa
hey aaidenkae! I was wondering if you'd post this one anytime soon! so how are you guys gonna continue writing over the summer? so this sounds really promising, despite the many grammatical errors! (don't you hate those? they kinda sneak up on ya...) hope to see you soon!


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