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for Magi and Soria

10/5/2005 c1 KaronePrincess
Hey, this is funny.

I love it when Prince Rai arguing to his inner voice about like or not like Selene. That was so FUNNY.

Prince Rai doesn't like her, but deep inside down he like her. I love it A LOT.

7/11/2005 c1 6yannik
There is something about character development in this story, that buggs me. Rai doesn’t seem to be a complete jerk, yet he hits Selene. Well, unless it realy was a spell… But cast by whom? And for what reason? Was it Selene, of Charming? Charming seems to have the motive, but does he have the wit? Doesn’t seem so, but that might be a camouflage. Selene is a complete enigma. She’s shy, but she encourages Rai to pursue their relationship. It would make sense that she cast that spell, because that would mean she’s not-so-shy, and only pretends. But. One – you never mention if Soria are magic-users. Two – why would she make Rai hit her if she wants to be with him? Then – if it wasn’t her who cast that spell, then why the heck does she want to be with a jerk that hit her? That’s a complete absurd.

One more small thing:

“Half an hour passed while Rai read.” WHAT IS THAT ABOUT? (Around mid-chapter)

Besides that – nice story. Not overwhelming, but pleasant. Not too much funny moments for a humor-genre.

6/29/2005 c1 1Clodhopper
heh, awesome. i really liked the mirror the best. that part actually made me laugh outloud instead of just smile. a few more details could possibly be used, but other than that i really liked it. its a fun idea. Prince Charming, eh? sounds like a creep. heh. I prefer Prince Quirky.


PS if you're ever bored could you possibly check out one of my stories? please dont feel obligated
6/22/2005 c1 DentArthurDent
really nice story. You HAVE to continue! please? Before you're late.DONT PANIC

oh, um, also, there's a lot of times when you use "Then" and are supposed to use "Than."

But its still an awesomely awesome story!
6/20/2005 c1 10AzNDrEAmEr77
ooiee new story, yay!
6/16/2005 c1 meyna
What do I have to say? Um...

That was great! And this is only the first chapter. You have to keep going. Though when Rai smacked her, she probably should have smacked him back (though that's probably not in her character... Oh well :)

Update soon.
6/9/2005 c1 3li ren
Hahaha... very interesting and funny first chapter. I like it. I look forward to future chapters. ^_^
6/9/2005 c1 32Mayaj
Hm. Definitely the best M&S version so far... except for the part abuot hittiing Selene. RAI WOULD NEVER DO THAT! Would he? I love the mirror...

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