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8/23/2005 c3 2Casey Drake
this is a very intriguing story, and i hope you can update soon.

:) CD
8/23/2005 c2 Casey Drake
I've got a good first impression. I'm liking this, especially Sea.

:) CD
8/15/2005 c3 1rrmehta364
Got to like the story so far. So where exactly is it anyways. Well, moving on I think the first chapter summary might have been a mistake. I thought that was how you were going to begin your story and an info dump beginning which basically is a list seems something novice authors do. AFter reading the rest of the story it seemed much better but that beginning probably scared readers off. Other than that, there seems to be no major problems. A couple of grammar mistakes and a couple of madly worded sentence. Also, i don't kno Sea yet but don't make her into the typical heroine i see hear. They tend to get very annoying very fast. Yes, that's about it. Good Luck!
8/15/2005 c3 8Crauth
Quite an interesting idea for a story. Maybe you would like to play up a bit more on Sea? Her character is a bit flat, being the sterotypical egotistical hero who has a attitude problem but saves the day. It is, to me, a bit cliched.

The opening chapter 1 is quite good, but maybe you could have started off with a transcript of the interent chat room conversation first? That way it would be clearer and slightly more understandable. However, the way you did it is fine.

Just a little thing: the dialogue confuses me slightly, as sometimes I don't know who is talking and who is saying what.

All in all, it's good, but Dragons please? ^-^ I love dragons! ^-^
8/15/2005 c1 Amelia Grant
Well, it sounds interesting. I'd like to read the product when you post it!
6/13/2005 c2 22Aiwin
Haha I guess i'm not going to date online than (not like I ever planned to anyway). I thought it was interesting ^.^ Can't wait for the next chapter!

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