for Talitha6/9/2006 c1 
47Viktrona
Wonderful story and wonderfully written. i love how you have the way people talk correct at least i think it's correct i really don't know. I love how you described the unicorn.
47ViktronaWonderful story and wonderfully written. i love how you have the way people talk correct at least i think it's correct i really don't know. I love how you described the unicorn.
1/19/2006 c1 Joelle Duran
I find myself echoing your other reviewers here. The work you did in setting the stage and the period add so much to this lovely little story, and the characters are a delight-nary a sterotype to be seen! Love the depiction of the unicorn as well, really conveys the peril of the legendary creature. And a delightfully happy ending too-a real treat to read!
I find myself echoing your other reviewers here. The work you did in setting the stage and the period add so much to this lovely little story, and the characters are a delight-nary a sterotype to be seen! Love the depiction of the unicorn as well, really conveys the peril of the legendary creature. And a delightfully happy ending too-a real treat to read!
12/16/2005 c1 5Firefly88
You write incredibly well! I liked the pace of the story and the way you used some archaic language to help set the era. You built up to the climax really well. Brilliant!And thanks for the reviews :)
5Firefly88You write incredibly well! I liked the pace of the story and the way you used some archaic language to help set the era. You built up to the climax really well. Brilliant!And thanks for the reviews :)
11/25/2005 c1 29Hermoics
Ah...I love it. I know the legend you dpeak of. If a maiden lays beneath a yew tree (believe it is yew) and falls asleep a unicorn will come to her. (Many variations. Some say it only happens on a new moon nite.)) Ah I loved it! It was so cute and perfect and you're a really good writer. Aneways Love Hermoics aka the Wolf NS
29HermoicsAh...I love it. I know the legend you dpeak of. If a maiden lays beneath a yew tree (believe it is yew) and falls asleep a unicorn will come to her. (Many variations. Some say it only happens on a new moon nite.)) Ah I loved it! It was so cute and perfect and you're a really good writer. Aneways Love Hermoics aka the Wolf NS
10/2/2005 c1 11Areneth
Ah! What a good story! I love your diction. Older English excites me, it sounds so much more beautiful than the English we use today and the words you use are not of this time and it's so well done! It was very professional, and there is nothing I have found that needs improvement. Great work! It's awesome.
11ArenethAh! What a good story! I love your diction. Older English excites me, it sounds so much more beautiful than the English we use today and the words you use are not of this time and it's so well done! It was very professional, and there is nothing I have found that needs improvement. Great work! It's awesome.
8/24/2005 c1 6Count of Casualty
That was so sweet! It's interesting how you always seem to make out that the story is going to have a bad ending, but then everything works out in the end. Great job!
6Count of CasualtyThat was so sweet! It's interesting how you always seem to make out that the story is going to have a bad ending, but then everything works out in the end. Great job!
8/16/2005 c1 1Clodhopper
Dialogue is a surprisingly tricky thing to write, but you mastered it beautifully. I love the language and structure that you use. The characters are very realistic, too, which is something else not often crossed on FictionPress.
A few things: There are one or two areas where QuickEdit got you and half of your sentence is on the next line. When you upload, review the chapter to make sure QuickEdit hasn't done anything to it.
Too many periods here: "What order of knight...?" Only three are needed.
When using the ellipse at the beginning of a sentence, the first word needs to be capitalized: "...must be poor to be here without esquire or anything..."
Other than those minor things, I thought this was wonderfully written. You have good structure and seem to know exactly what you're doing. Update soon and keep up the good writing!
~Ty
1ClodhopperDialogue is a surprisingly tricky thing to write, but you mastered it beautifully. I love the language and structure that you use. The characters are very realistic, too, which is something else not often crossed on FictionPress.
A few things: There are one or two areas where QuickEdit got you and half of your sentence is on the next line. When you upload, review the chapter to make sure QuickEdit hasn't done anything to it.
Too many periods here: "What order of knight...?" Only three are needed.
When using the ellipse at the beginning of a sentence, the first word needs to be capitalized: "...must be poor to be here without esquire or anything..."
Other than those minor things, I thought this was wonderfully written. You have good structure and seem to know exactly what you're doing. Update soon and keep up the good writing!
~Ty