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for Ode to Pain

12/9/2005 c1 90poetic abortion
not so much "hate life" as just overdone poem, the subject matter is done and I won't deny the word choice (i.e: "blackened heart", "pain" and "Alone") did put me off a bit and gave it the feel of teen-ish immaturity but that is what made this so compelling. I am a bit turned-off by the scene displayed, it is very commopn but you could ellabotate more concerning YOUR emotions.

the whole thing is just a whole package of teen anger and just toe-tapping pace. I agree with the below reviewer, this should be a tad longer but I don't mind it that much. (actually, I prefer poetry short)

keep up the good work.

~* noelle
11/22/2005 c1 7amazingal69
Really awsome. This is really good!
11/9/2005 c1 17sunday night sky
nice job. good work.
7/21/2005 c1 22dragonsdream13
hi, i just realized that you had left some comments on a few works of mine a long time ago and i though id thank you. I think this is a pretty good poem and i really like its name, as well as your screen-name. Well thanks again, and keep writing.-DragonsDream
6/23/2005 c1 31The Love Demi Goddess
I liked this one. I liked the RAGE you put into it.. well not rage exactly.. but anger. Pure anger. Yet, there was a degree of sadness to it as well, which I enjoyed.

I would reccomend you make this longer however, explain more of your emotion on being homosexual. Make the person SEE what kind of pain they put you through, then contrast that with the love you have of your own lover.

All and all, I like the poem. You did well for doing such a contriversial issue. Keep writing please ^_^ Also, don't let anyone make fun of your beliefs. They are yours and they have no right to critizise them... just make sure you don't force it on others.. and you have nothing to worry about. I hope that you and your lover are togeather for years to come.

write hard, write long, write until dawn~ TLDG
6/18/2005 c1 6Nobody-n-Particular
Nice ending. Perhaps add some poetic devices? A good rhythm.
6/17/2005 c1 2Selah Ex Animo
I liked this, particularly the ending.

"As you mock me,I pity you.I feel nothing but pain,For your lonely, blackened heart."

Loved those lines too. It's a familiar subject you've written about, and I love how you described it, from the POV of the person being mocked. Lovely job! ;)

- Selah
6/16/2005 c1 3Eternal Savior
ohh~! Very pretty and dark sounding! I really like! (Brandi sux at poetry) You put me to shame. -.-

This poem would go perfect with a certain manga I know of too. XD
6/16/2005 c1 Bloodsinger
you're trying to tell me that you're only twolve? i don't believe you
6/16/2005 c1 2NotA-Frayed
hey me.
6/16/2005 c1 234The Moribund Marionette
Ah...so explicit...so worthy of praise... (*laughs maliciously yet beautifully*) ~Writer of Darkness~

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