for The War of Time II: Jason10/19/2011 c1 
7The Red Raven
You have a good idea,but it was rushed and not very descriptive.Unfortunately,you're not on this site anymore so I couldn't ask you if I could help you.
7The Red RavenYou have a good idea,but it was rushed and not very descriptive.Unfortunately,you're not on this site anymore so I couldn't ask you if I could help you.
12/29/2004 c1 2raingurlsofia
Good. So you did add another chapter. In the first chapter, I was a little surprised at Mr. Hanby's response to him being Zeus. Did I miss something there?The whole combat thing was exciting, but rushed, while the unimportant game of cards was overly extended. I like the whole story!
2raingurlsofiaGood. So you did add another chapter. In the first chapter, I was a little surprised at Mr. Hanby's response to him being Zeus. Did I miss something there?The whole combat thing was exciting, but rushed, while the unimportant game of cards was overly extended. I like the whole story!
9/16/2001 c1 DragonLass
It's good, but as I continue reading it, I find its lacking in detail. I don't see anything in my head when I read this. The reader should be able to imagine the surroundings as you tell it, it adds some vividness to the story.
It's good, but as I continue reading it, I find its lacking in detail. I don't see anything in my head when I read this. The reader should be able to imagine the surroundings as you tell it, it adds some vividness to the story.
5/11/2000 c1 TheBLueImp
Lacks as the original. It is agood story however just needs alot more work.
Lacks as the original. It is agood story however just needs alot more work.
4/28/2000 c1 Lord Marcus
As good as the original, though discrepencies abound through the fluctuating use of Roman Gods' names and Greek Gods' names. Hermes is mentioned in the first part, but Mercury in this one... they are one and the same. Are the names simply used interchangeably?
As good as the original, though discrepencies abound through the fluctuating use of Roman Gods' names and Greek Gods' names. Hermes is mentioned in the first part, but Mercury in this one... they are one and the same. Are the names simply used interchangeably?
4/25/2000 c1 Adam Jammoe
Still good...keep it up.
Still good...keep it up.