6/17/2005 c1 13Artificial Refuge
Brilliantly written, even if it is very depressing! Nice work though, keep it up

6/17/2005 c1 95beti213
nice! good description-simple, and honest. my only suggestion is perhaps to cut down on the "and then"s. it's good to have a pattern but that phrase is very colloquial and becomes grating after repetition. I like it, though-I was with the girl every moment. well done.