for Seniors10/18/2019 c36 Guest
great story
great story
7/31/2014 c36 hana
lyk it
lyk it
7/26/2013 c32 Guest
Great story but the typos.. They're making the story way less.. Enjoyable
Great story but the typos.. They're making the story way less.. Enjoyable
7/23/2011 c2 Nightengale
Hey! I'm going to have to give you some constructive criticism. You're story has a good main idea behind it but your mechanics are absolute crap. Usually I'm not a grammar nazi but you really need to work of spelling and punctuation. I'm willing to turn a blind eye to one or two simple spelling mishaps but I can't help but be annoyed at the confusion between words like "their" and "they're". And I can't see how one can "accidentally" forget to add a word in four different places. So, please, with all due respect, proof-read before submitting. You write way too well to be hindered by something that can be so easily fixed.
Hey! I'm going to have to give you some constructive criticism. You're story has a good main idea behind it but your mechanics are absolute crap. Usually I'm not a grammar nazi but you really need to work of spelling and punctuation. I'm willing to turn a blind eye to one or two simple spelling mishaps but I can't help but be annoyed at the confusion between words like "their" and "they're". And I can't see how one can "accidentally" forget to add a word in four different places. So, please, with all due respect, proof-read before submitting. You write way too well to be hindered by something that can be so easily fixed.
6/9/2011 c31 cmckinley
I understand Charlie's position but I also can't see how it was obvious on how Alex felt for her. Yeah, there was the jealousy but it could be written off on being overprotective.
Him hanging on with two girls would have deterred me if I was in her position. I mean if a guy likes a girl, he should make it obvious not date or have friends with benefits with other girls while saying he loves another. Honestly I think he is an ass. I'm not a big fan of him.
Anyway that's my opinion.
I understand Charlie's position but I also can't see how it was obvious on how Alex felt for her. Yeah, there was the jealousy but it could be written off on being overprotective.
Him hanging on with two girls would have deterred me if I was in her position. I mean if a guy likes a girl, he should make it obvious not date or have friends with benefits with other girls while saying he loves another. Honestly I think he is an ass. I'm not a big fan of him.
Anyway that's my opinion.
4/7/2011 c3 musicluva4eva
Great story so far! You should remove the spam that has been posted as reviews. Who ever did that is a complete idiot!
Great story so far! You should remove the spam that has been posted as reviews. Who ever did that is a complete idiot!
12/30/2010 c18 
1Madam Vendetta
NO!
She's suppossed to scream and yell and keep grudge and not talk to him!
/sighs/ no one can write good arguments anymore.
/sulks/ you were SO CLOSE!
~BB
1Madam VendettaNO!
She's suppossed to scream and yell and keep grudge and not talk to him!
/sighs/ no one can write good arguments anymore.
/sulks/ you were SO CLOSE!
~BB
12/30/2010 c1 Madam Vendetta
It was a good chapter but the geek in me has to tell you that twins come from the mother and that it's not hereditary through the father in any way shape or form. I don't think it's hereditary through the mother either, having twins that is. If a mother has twins and one is a girl then that girl is still more likely to have one child at a time.
And I'm ranting. Sorry.
~BB
It was a good chapter but the geek in me has to tell you that twins come from the mother and that it's not hereditary through the father in any way shape or form. I don't think it's hereditary through the mother either, having twins that is. If a mother has twins and one is a girl then that girl is still more likely to have one child at a time.
And I'm ranting. Sorry.
~BB
10/8/2010 c36 1do not click
this story is amaizing! i love it soo much, i even cried at one point! so great
1do not clickthis story is amaizing! i love it soo much, i even cried at one point! so great
9/4/2010 c1 2spygirl101
You know, even though you have many grammatical errors I still love your story.
One of the best plots I've ever read and one of the stories that made me cry. I have read this a long time ago and want to reread it today.
I just want to say that you are an awesome writer and keep writing so that you can improve. Even I am a bad writer but I still keep on writing. I hope that your spirits aren't crushed just because of the criticisms you have received. Believe me, many had said same things to me and even though there are times that I feel down. I didn't stop writing.
I also admire you because you managed to finish a story.. I didn't.
hehehe
anyways, I hope you keep on writing awesome stories. I'll be waiting for another one. hehe
2spygirl101You know, even though you have many grammatical errors I still love your story.
One of the best plots I've ever read and one of the stories that made me cry. I have read this a long time ago and want to reread it today.
I just want to say that you are an awesome writer and keep writing so that you can improve. Even I am a bad writer but I still keep on writing. I hope that your spirits aren't crushed just because of the criticisms you have received. Believe me, many had said same things to me and even though there are times that I feel down. I didn't stop writing.
I also admire you because you managed to finish a story.. I didn't.
hehehe
anyways, I hope you keep on writing awesome stories. I'll be waiting for another one. hehe
7/16/2010 c2 SlugHunter
hey there,
can't help but notice some annoying spelling/ grammar issues which seems to take away from the overall story.
1. in chapter one, when introducing the brothers isn't it 'then' instead of 'than' as in then came so and so.
2. commas, you put commas before names eg. "lets eat, grandma." as opposed to "lets eat grandma" T_T (lol i love that example)
3. if your person questions another person with a name ie. "emily, did you finish ur hwk" I asked my best friend, its already established shes ur best friend, and its sort of given that ur not talking to Vincent so its unnecessary.
4. in chapter 2. snorted decisively... possibly derisive is a better word
and yes i know i suck at spelling and grammar but i think commas help the flow of the story XD just some general pointers i guess :P
hey there,
can't help but notice some annoying spelling/ grammar issues which seems to take away from the overall story.
1. in chapter one, when introducing the brothers isn't it 'then' instead of 'than' as in then came so and so.
2. commas, you put commas before names eg. "lets eat, grandma." as opposed to "lets eat grandma" T_T (lol i love that example)
3. if your person questions another person with a name ie. "emily, did you finish ur hwk" I asked my best friend, its already established shes ur best friend, and its sort of given that ur not talking to Vincent so its unnecessary.
4. in chapter 2. snorted decisively... possibly derisive is a better word
and yes i know i suck at spelling and grammar but i think commas help the flow of the story XD just some general pointers i guess :P
4/6/2010 c36 1HeartsOfDiamonds
I love this story. It's cliched, but wonderfully so. Great job and thanks for writing this.
1HeartsOfDiamondsI love this story. It's cliched, but wonderfully so. Great job and thanks for writing this.
7/17/2009 c36 7Tabby24
i really like this story, except there were times when the mistakes got on my nerves. lol.
Uhm, but anyways, you should probably change the story's status to "complete" since it's finished.
:)
Kayy, Ciao.
7Tabby24i really like this story, except there were times when the mistakes got on my nerves. lol.
Uhm, but anyways, you should probably change the story's status to "complete" since it's finished.
:)
Kayy, Ciao.
6/1/2009 c36 FictionismyGame
K, this was a good story and a happy one (Thank the Lord! I was getting tired of sad ones.)But I think its really sweet. One thing though. You should really reread your story and fix all the mistakes. Some of them makes it kind of hard to understand. Try to use the person's name when you're talking about them because sometimes you would be talking about Corin, then change paragraphs and use he, so I thought you were still talking about Corin, but really it was Alex. There were a few words missing and you skipped some letters, also using We'll for well and his for he's. Just fix it please so other readers who do not have the great skills of guessing can read this with ease.
K, this was a good story and a happy one (Thank the Lord! I was getting tired of sad ones.)But I think its really sweet. One thing though. You should really reread your story and fix all the mistakes. Some of them makes it kind of hard to understand. Try to use the person's name when you're talking about them because sometimes you would be talking about Corin, then change paragraphs and use he, so I thought you were still talking about Corin, but really it was Alex. There were a few words missing and you skipped some letters, also using We'll for well and his for he's. Just fix it please so other readers who do not have the great skills of guessing can read this with ease.