for Proving Gitty4/27/2021 c1 ambethiiii
I like the characters, I love the plot and everything about this book. Good job writer! If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NóvelStar, just submit your story to hardy nó or joye nó
I like the characters, I love the plot and everything about this book. Good job writer! If you have some great stories like this one, you can publish it on NóvelStar, just submit your story to hardy nó or joye nó
2/22/2006 c1 k. silence
hi, just would like apologize for the stuff. you too simian. take it easy.
hi, just would like apologize for the stuff. you too simian. take it easy.
2/17/2006 c7 
12Simian
I can't believe she wasted a perfectly good review to advertize. *shakes head*
You are getting much better. I haven't really had time to read, but I'm very glad I never forgot this!
Gitty and Jacob. *sighs*
12SimianI can't believe she wasted a perfectly good review to advertize. *shakes head*
You are getting much better. I haven't really had time to read, but I'm very glad I never forgot this!
Gitty and Jacob. *sighs*
2/16/2006 c2 10Gnoll Eater of Babies
Okay, perhaps I was mean at first. Seriously, I was in a bad mood...
Anywho, I think it would be better if you used less of a straightforward reading of the character's thoughts and made it a bit more dynamic. Perhaps if you used some first-person style thoughts, like putting them in italics rather than just saying "She wished for the suspense of what would happen next." See what I'm saying?
And a little brush up on spelling wouldn't hurt.
10Gnoll Eater of BabiesOkay, perhaps I was mean at first. Seriously, I was in a bad mood...
Anywho, I think it would be better if you used less of a straightforward reading of the character's thoughts and made it a bit more dynamic. Perhaps if you used some first-person style thoughts, like putting them in italics rather than just saying "She wished for the suspense of what would happen next." See what I'm saying?
And a little brush up on spelling wouldn't hurt.
2/15/2006 c1 Gnoll Eater of Babies
Your story didn't make sense. I stopped reading after the first chapter. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but it sucked. It didn't make any sense at all. The many mis spellings didn't help either. There are no defining lines between what time period the perspective is from and it seems that an awful lot is crammed into that last paragraph.
Your story didn't make sense. I stopped reading after the first chapter. I mean, I hate to break it to you, but it sucked. It didn't make any sense at all. The many mis spellings didn't help either. There are no defining lines between what time period the perspective is from and it seems that an awful lot is crammed into that last paragraph.
2/10/2006 c3 Darket
I'm new here. I really liked the way you wrote this story. I'm fascinated by the western genre and this story for that matter. The only things wrong with this story was some grammatical errors in the description. I'm not noting the dialogue, first off it's the west, that's how people talk.
I also liked how it was a grandmother who had lived in the western times and went on to tell her child about her mother on her death bed. Pure genious. *Apllause*. I hope to read the rest of this later.
I'm new here. I really liked the way you wrote this story. I'm fascinated by the western genre and this story for that matter. The only things wrong with this story was some grammatical errors in the description. I'm not noting the dialogue, first off it's the west, that's how people talk.
I also liked how it was a grandmother who had lived in the western times and went on to tell her child about her mother on her death bed. Pure genious. *Apllause*. I hope to read the rest of this later.
11/25/2005 c6 cinnamon
Jacob's sweet. Gitty has a bad mouth though!
Jacob's sweet. Gitty has a bad mouth though!
10/4/2005 c2 19K. Silence
(This is the "non-plot" story summery I have inside of my book In Dreams and Shadows. I can understand if you only like to read about women's lib and tabbacco smoke being awesome, if you didn't really dig it. That's your own opinion. But it's not an opinion that the story's obviously not about rape, since it happens in detail once in an entire 300+ pages..., not to mention that it lasted barely two paragraphs, and it's not an opinion that it has a plot. It is fact. Anything that constructs a story into being a story is, in fact, a storyline or plot. Being a writer Simian, the almighty should know this. Whether or not you choose to like or dislike the plot outline, now this is your opinion, and I never tried to take that away from anyone. But opinions cannot be made fact, because if so, they are no longer "opinions" at all. They are fact. Simian and I could probably get along if he would stop being so judgemental and close minded. You were the first to judge, and condemn people for what they write - not i. And then again we could probably get along if he was in a coma too so...)
Mina Seracuse, a 16 year old run away finds herself on the harsh winter streets of Saint Parrish. It was a town where bad things happened quite often. Urban Myths claimed that the historical town was cursed, and not many disputed the legends. Out of a last resort, and determined to survive, she takes a job at a local gentleman’s club stripping. What she thought was at least a safe haven from starving and freezing to death on the cruel winter streets is becoming more dangerous than she’d ever imagined.
But there was another evil, lurking in the shadows the night her life took a drastic turn for the worse. She met a monster that night on that dark frightening street. A man in a ski mask was the last thing she saw before she awoke to find herself in a literal dungeon of horror, sadism, and emotional and physical torture. After months of seeing nothing but the dungeon walls, she narrowly and miraculously escapes the hands of who could easily be the devil himself. Mina finds herself in the gentle embrace and protection of an unlikely love. Caleb Benedetti, the son of the deceased, and notoriously known Italian mob boss: Michael “the heart” Benedetti.
Caleb was an old soul - calm, collective, and the answer to Mina’s prayers. But the wonderful man that vowed revenge against his own monster in his past –a past he couldn’t shake off is being haunted by nightmares that leaves him believing they hold some hidden meaning that holds a clue to Morgan, his ex - fiancé’s untimely death.
The truth is becoming clearer and more frightening than ever as a person from his past enters into his world again, after fifteen years of silence to end him, through hell or high water Caleb vows revenge from an old secret that mustn’t be known.
Someone or something is determined not to let Mina and Caleb’s twisted fairy tale end happily ever after. Will Caleb be able to save her or will the evil overtake them both?
19K. Silence(This is the "non-plot" story summery I have inside of my book In Dreams and Shadows. I can understand if you only like to read about women's lib and tabbacco smoke being awesome, if you didn't really dig it. That's your own opinion. But it's not an opinion that the story's obviously not about rape, since it happens in detail once in an entire 300+ pages..., not to mention that it lasted barely two paragraphs, and it's not an opinion that it has a plot. It is fact. Anything that constructs a story into being a story is, in fact, a storyline or plot. Being a writer Simian, the almighty should know this. Whether or not you choose to like or dislike the plot outline, now this is your opinion, and I never tried to take that away from anyone. But opinions cannot be made fact, because if so, they are no longer "opinions" at all. They are fact. Simian and I could probably get along if he would stop being so judgemental and close minded. You were the first to judge, and condemn people for what they write - not i. And then again we could probably get along if he was in a coma too so...)
Mina Seracuse, a 16 year old run away finds herself on the harsh winter streets of Saint Parrish. It was a town where bad things happened quite often. Urban Myths claimed that the historical town was cursed, and not many disputed the legends. Out of a last resort, and determined to survive, she takes a job at a local gentleman’s club stripping. What she thought was at least a safe haven from starving and freezing to death on the cruel winter streets is becoming more dangerous than she’d ever imagined.
But there was another evil, lurking in the shadows the night her life took a drastic turn for the worse. She met a monster that night on that dark frightening street. A man in a ski mask was the last thing she saw before she awoke to find herself in a literal dungeon of horror, sadism, and emotional and physical torture. After months of seeing nothing but the dungeon walls, she narrowly and miraculously escapes the hands of who could easily be the devil himself. Mina finds herself in the gentle embrace and protection of an unlikely love. Caleb Benedetti, the son of the deceased, and notoriously known Italian mob boss: Michael “the heart” Benedetti.
Caleb was an old soul - calm, collective, and the answer to Mina’s prayers. But the wonderful man that vowed revenge against his own monster in his past –a past he couldn’t shake off is being haunted by nightmares that leaves him believing they hold some hidden meaning that holds a clue to Morgan, his ex - fiancé’s untimely death.
The truth is becoming clearer and more frightening than ever as a person from his past enters into his world again, after fifteen years of silence to end him, through hell or high water Caleb vows revenge from an old secret that mustn’t be known.
Someone or something is determined not to let Mina and Caleb’s twisted fairy tale end happily ever after. Will Caleb be able to save her or will the evil overtake them both?
10/4/2005 c4 wild sour cream and onion
"She's also spammed tagboards off of websites that were blatantly anti-Rape fiction, and has made various internet enemies who have e-mailed me because I'm the only person who's ever fought back to her close-minded, narrow view of how literature should be written."
Dude, what in the fuck are you talking about. The only loser I've ever contacted about child rape is you. I've made internet enemies? I'm not online long enough to make enemies. I have things more important to do like... breathe, and stare and be alive and stuff. sheesh! If i've made these so-called internet enemies where are they, and where's proof that i've contacted them? Now you're just making shit up off the top of your head, and yeah knightmare elite's one of my (dare i say) bests friends of the black race who stands behind me, and has known me well for 5 years, me my nazi self. right, so anyway, i'm so illusive, i must be making all these enemies in my sleep. Or perhaps every time i go to work, i astral project.. i'm just good like that ya know.
"Plus that, and she just simply has a nasty temper. This is proven because she goes to the people who reviewed my stories positively and spams up their review boards with "Simian has magical powers. He can shoot lightning bolts from his arse." crap."
goes to people? no... i went to PERSON. ONE. And her review wasn't so postitive. Well later guys. And just in case you didn't catch on Sim, the grandma thing... well that's called sarcasm. Who's ever raped their grandmother, or wrote about it? If you can find "gramma rape" in any of my stories, i'll bow my head in defeat. But until then... happy raping your grandmother's day!
"She's also spammed tagboards off of websites that were blatantly anti-Rape fiction, and has made various internet enemies who have e-mailed me because I'm the only person who's ever fought back to her close-minded, narrow view of how literature should be written."
Dude, what in the fuck are you talking about. The only loser I've ever contacted about child rape is you. I've made internet enemies? I'm not online long enough to make enemies. I have things more important to do like... breathe, and stare and be alive and stuff. sheesh! If i've made these so-called internet enemies where are they, and where's proof that i've contacted them? Now you're just making shit up off the top of your head, and yeah knightmare elite's one of my (dare i say) bests friends of the black race who stands behind me, and has known me well for 5 years, me my nazi self. right, so anyway, i'm so illusive, i must be making all these enemies in my sleep. Or perhaps every time i go to work, i astral project.. i'm just good like that ya know.
"Plus that, and she just simply has a nasty temper. This is proven because she goes to the people who reviewed my stories positively and spams up their review boards with "Simian has magical powers. He can shoot lightning bolts from his arse." crap."
goes to people? no... i went to PERSON. ONE. And her review wasn't so postitive. Well later guys. And just in case you didn't catch on Sim, the grandma thing... well that's called sarcasm. Who's ever raped their grandmother, or wrote about it? If you can find "gramma rape" in any of my stories, i'll bow my head in defeat. But until then... happy raping your grandmother's day!
10/4/2005 c1 oh it just doesn't matter
what are tagboards? i don't even know what that is. I just write in my books, dude. let it go. u're a psycho with your psycho babble. jesus flapjack christ on a pancake you have a lot of nothing to do for someone who travels and saves the world. u're not my hero... get over it. i've never went around searching for anti rape fiction you weirdo. i don't write rape fiction. i write thrillers and horror stories because i want to, and hummer... not that i know who you are, i was just bored... anyway, this guy hasn't even read my stories and because he saw rape he gets all offended. which is fair because when i saw the rape of a five year old in graphic detail, i was offended because i am a mother. i didn't really care if simian the almighty was anti rape. he doesn't know me well enough to know that just seriously, i don't care enough to search anyone out. i noticed that you asked him about the negative review and i was just curious, damn me to hell. but it's okay because i've noticed that a lot of people think he's a dork who's opinions are equal to a bag of rocks, and not even the kind he smokes. i mean, i rarely search the refrigerator for an apple, much less the internet for something to bash like rape fiction... i really don't care that damned much. Simian's the man for stalking and seaking and destroying and all that jazz, not me. it's not a matter of politics like he claims. it's a matter of this psycho that can't take an opinion of his work if it doesn't suit him. feel free to read my first review displayed on monster which is what stemmed him to stalk me like the little crazy person that he is. But it's okay... it's all okay because I fucking rock. later guys.
what are tagboards? i don't even know what that is. I just write in my books, dude. let it go. u're a psycho with your psycho babble. jesus flapjack christ on a pancake you have a lot of nothing to do for someone who travels and saves the world. u're not my hero... get over it. i've never went around searching for anti rape fiction you weirdo. i don't write rape fiction. i write thrillers and horror stories because i want to, and hummer... not that i know who you are, i was just bored... anyway, this guy hasn't even read my stories and because he saw rape he gets all offended. which is fair because when i saw the rape of a five year old in graphic detail, i was offended because i am a mother. i didn't really care if simian the almighty was anti rape. he doesn't know me well enough to know that just seriously, i don't care enough to search anyone out. i noticed that you asked him about the negative review and i was just curious, damn me to hell. but it's okay because i've noticed that a lot of people think he's a dork who's opinions are equal to a bag of rocks, and not even the kind he smokes. i mean, i rarely search the refrigerator for an apple, much less the internet for something to bash like rape fiction... i really don't care that damned much. Simian's the man for stalking and seaking and destroying and all that jazz, not me. it's not a matter of politics like he claims. it's a matter of this psycho that can't take an opinion of his work if it doesn't suit him. feel free to read my first review displayed on monster which is what stemmed him to stalk me like the little crazy person that he is. But it's okay... it's all okay because I fucking rock. later guys.
8/31/2005 c3 12Simian
And to hypocritically copy K.Silence while trying to equally show how ridiculous she's acting, people have made me mad before and I haven't reacted the same way.
It's because those people were polite and didn't spam up my review boards with shit like "Elf Lady" because I wrote a fantasy story (which the Goddess K.Silence apparently thinks is useless to real life as opposed to her heartfelt stories about rape and abuse).
And check out Gayfaghater (a.k.a K.Silence) in my review boards. Yeah, she's a hypocrite.
Try: Joey Batz, Sardonic Whispers, Knightmare Elite, Final DArkness, The Pancake Chef, and Max Krugman.
We disagree, but unlike with K.Silence, we act respectedly to each other. We don't go around creating names like "Gayfaghater" and spamming up the review boards with crap meant to be some form of retaliation.
12SimianAnd to hypocritically copy K.Silence while trying to equally show how ridiculous she's acting, people have made me mad before and I haven't reacted the same way.
It's because those people were polite and didn't spam up my review boards with shit like "Elf Lady" because I wrote a fantasy story (which the Goddess K.Silence apparently thinks is useless to real life as opposed to her heartfelt stories about rape and abuse).
And check out Gayfaghater (a.k.a K.Silence) in my review boards. Yeah, she's a hypocrite.
Try: Joey Batz, Sardonic Whispers, Knightmare Elite, Final DArkness, The Pancake Chef, and Max Krugman.
We disagree, but unlike with K.Silence, we act respectedly to each other. We don't go around creating names like "Gayfaghater" and spamming up the review boards with crap meant to be some form of retaliation.
8/31/2005 c2 Simian
"Hey, couldn't help but notice that the wonderful Simian stopped by. However, young lady, I am appalled that you don't know by now that we writers are here to please him, and only him, because he's the epitome of literary genius. If he says he prefers it that way, then it's the way it shall be, and don't dispute his word or he may just stalk the fuck out of you until you bend."
That's why I said that it was a good story in spite of my preference.
See, Hummer, K.Silence didn't like me writing Monster because she likes to write pointless rape fics. Just read her works.
She spammed the review boards of two of my stories until I banned her from them. Then she continued to spam her own review boards and create pointless stories that were intended to be insulting to me.
So I returned the favor. Now she's angry because I didn't give up and let her continue on her nazi parade of telling people that they could not write stories that were against dramaqueen rape fics that had no point or plot.
She's also spammed tagboards off of websites that were blatantly anti-Rape fiction, and has made various internet enemies who have e-mailed me because I'm the only person who's ever fought back to her close-minded, narrow view of how literature should be written.
Plus that, and she just simply has a nasty temper. This is proven because she goes to the people who reviewed my stories positively and spams up their review boards with "Simian has magical powers. He can shoot lightning bolts from his arse." crap.
To K: "Advice is nice, when the person giving it is not a flake self centered jerk."
Then I guess she shouldn't follow your advice. Remember all that crap about how you were some awesome writer who was going to make it famous with your fics about raping your grandmother? Or about how I should stop giving your works bad reviews because they are so much more awesome than my stories?
Yeah, somebody has a big ego.
"Hey, couldn't help but notice that the wonderful Simian stopped by. However, young lady, I am appalled that you don't know by now that we writers are here to please him, and only him, because he's the epitome of literary genius. If he says he prefers it that way, then it's the way it shall be, and don't dispute his word or he may just stalk the fuck out of you until you bend."
That's why I said that it was a good story in spite of my preference.
See, Hummer, K.Silence didn't like me writing Monster because she likes to write pointless rape fics. Just read her works.
She spammed the review boards of two of my stories until I banned her from them. Then she continued to spam her own review boards and create pointless stories that were intended to be insulting to me.
So I returned the favor. Now she's angry because I didn't give up and let her continue on her nazi parade of telling people that they could not write stories that were against dramaqueen rape fics that had no point or plot.
She's also spammed tagboards off of websites that were blatantly anti-Rape fiction, and has made various internet enemies who have e-mailed me because I'm the only person who's ever fought back to her close-minded, narrow view of how literature should be written.
Plus that, and she just simply has a nasty temper. This is proven because she goes to the people who reviewed my stories positively and spams up their review boards with "Simian has magical powers. He can shoot lightning bolts from his arse." crap.
To K: "Advice is nice, when the person giving it is not a flake self centered jerk."
Then I guess she shouldn't follow your advice. Remember all that crap about how you were some awesome writer who was going to make it famous with your fics about raping your grandmother? Or about how I should stop giving your works bad reviews because they are so much more awesome than my stories?
Yeah, somebody has a big ego.
8/30/2005 c3 19K. Silence
one more tiny thing. His description of the mountains in your imagination was stupid. I've seen mountains, and most of the time they're not spikes against the sky. Let your own imagery stay, that's what gives it your unique touch. He could have reworded it, just not replaced your descriptions with his own. Tho, I thought yours was perfectly fine.
19K. Silenceone more tiny thing. His description of the mountains in your imagination was stupid. I've seen mountains, and most of the time they're not spikes against the sky. Let your own imagery stay, that's what gives it your unique touch. He could have reworded it, just not replaced your descriptions with his own. Tho, I thought yours was perfectly fine.
8/30/2005 c1 K. Silence
Hey, couldn't help but notice that the wonderful Simian stopped by. However, young lady, I am appalled that you don't know by now that we writers are here to please him, and only him, because he's the epitome of literary genius. If he says he prefers it that way, then it's the way it shall be, and don't dispute his word or he may just stalk the fuck out of you until you bend. Simian has magical powers. He can shoot lightning bolts from his arse. But ask yourself this, and i've read your writing, you're a very good writer, if Simian is so bloody fabulous then why isn't there anything remotely impressing on his account? You don't have to prove anything to him. Write what you want and enjoy yourself. Advice is nice, when the person giving it is not a flake self centered jerk. But whatever you do don't piss him off or you'll never hear the end of it. Good luck! Nice work.
Hey, couldn't help but notice that the wonderful Simian stopped by. However, young lady, I am appalled that you don't know by now that we writers are here to please him, and only him, because he's the epitome of literary genius. If he says he prefers it that way, then it's the way it shall be, and don't dispute his word or he may just stalk the fuck out of you until you bend. Simian has magical powers. He can shoot lightning bolts from his arse. But ask yourself this, and i've read your writing, you're a very good writer, if Simian is so bloody fabulous then why isn't there anything remotely impressing on his account? You don't have to prove anything to him. Write what you want and enjoy yourself. Advice is nice, when the person giving it is not a flake self centered jerk. But whatever you do don't piss him off or you'll never hear the end of it. Good luck! Nice work.
8/9/2005 c1 12Simian
Oh, it's just that I prefer more details, especially with metaphors, than you tend to write. Like, when you're describing the scenary: "The great mountain chain was never ending were a rusty orange and the brown grass grew on forever. Trees were scarce among the jagged edged mountains. Something so empty yet it was filled with so much beauty."
I would prefer that it be written as such: "The mountains were large orange spikes against the serene blue backdrop of a sky, as the brown grass seemed to go on forever around it. The trees were scarce among the jagged edges, but they made the scene all the more beautiful. Turning something so empty into a beautiful painting, one which Caroline could look at for hours."
That's all. It's just my preference, not anything wrong with your style. ^^
12SimianOh, it's just that I prefer more details, especially with metaphors, than you tend to write. Like, when you're describing the scenary: "The great mountain chain was never ending were a rusty orange and the brown grass grew on forever. Trees were scarce among the jagged edged mountains. Something so empty yet it was filled with so much beauty."
I would prefer that it be written as such: "The mountains were large orange spikes against the serene blue backdrop of a sky, as the brown grass seemed to go on forever around it. The trees were scarce among the jagged edges, but they made the scene all the more beautiful. Turning something so empty into a beautiful painting, one which Caroline could look at for hours."
That's all. It's just my preference, not anything wrong with your style. ^^