for For the Love of the Game1/17/2009 c30 sarcasm is my middle name
Wow! Love the ending, love the whole story!
But... i hate the whole 'Brandon has a small package' thing!
Good looking guys can't have small packages!
It kinda ruined the story... but it was very well-written!
thanks.
Wow! Love the ending, love the whole story!
But... i hate the whole 'Brandon has a small package' thing!
Good looking guys can't have small packages!
It kinda ruined the story... but it was very well-written!
thanks.
12/22/2008 c30 
2wistfulpearl
awhs i love the ending! it's sweet but realistic too i'm really looking forward to the sequel!
2wistfulpearlawhs i love the ending! it's sweet but realistic too i'm really looking forward to the sequel!
11/16/2008 c8 Yellow.Jellow
Ha ha, great story, very creative!
I'm just really confused with Brandon's behavior. I think you want to show that Brandon character isn't as bad as Shelley makes it out to be but he just seems to be way in the extremes. One minute, he tells her that she's beautiful only to plan revenge on her the next. Does he, or does he not like her? Will we finally learn why he's so sexist because it occurs to me that he's the only one on the team that really feels this strongly about having Shelley coach. I dunno, I can kind of see why Brandon has to flip flop like this but I kind of wish you could make it flow more.
Ha ha, great story, very creative!
I'm just really confused with Brandon's behavior. I think you want to show that Brandon character isn't as bad as Shelley makes it out to be but he just seems to be way in the extremes. One minute, he tells her that she's beautiful only to plan revenge on her the next. Does he, or does he not like her? Will we finally learn why he's so sexist because it occurs to me that he's the only one on the team that really feels this strongly about having Shelley coach. I dunno, I can kind of see why Brandon has to flip flop like this but I kind of wish you could make it flow more.
10/29/2008 c22 ajseverson
Haha! see yeah. california, so it may still just be here in cali that they call it pop warner, since lm taking it thats where you live. and l know what my problen is. ln the beginning, he was sexist yeah, but he seemed strong character wise, and this twist with chelsey makes him seem weak and whiney, and selfish..
Haha! see yeah. california, so it may still just be here in cali that they call it pop warner, since lm taking it thats where you live. and l know what my problen is. ln the beginning, he was sexist yeah, but he seemed strong character wise, and this twist with chelsey makes him seem weak and whiney, and selfish..
10/29/2008 c21 ajseversongmail.com
I Love your story, although the drama seems to just pop up at random, then fade away with out being resolved. and its unexpected, like the blackmail twist. take the drama and work from it, but all the little different dramas are old. and we call it pop warner, and l live in california.
I Love your story, although the drama seems to just pop up at random, then fade away with out being resolved. and its unexpected, like the blackmail twist. take the drama and work from it, but all the little different dramas are old. and we call it pop warner, and l live in california.
10/27/2008 c30 Liveonluna
I loved this story! Great job =D
I loved this story! Great job =D
10/17/2008 c30 Elle Winters 9
I must say, I didn't really like the beginning too much, but then it started to get better. The end seemed like an anticlimax. It also seemed unfinished on some levels and I can't really pinpoint what (or where) and I'm sorry for that, because I know you can have these in mind to improve... probably something to do with Zach? Or Kyle? Because Kyle seemed quite prominent in the beginning and he faded off, and same with Zach, though he came in much later.
It was still quite interesting. It was entertaining and funny, just the ending didn't quite get there to me, maybe because it's supposed to signify it's not the end yet, it's only the beginning sort of thing? I'm not sure. Good luck though with anything else though. Seeya.
I must say, I didn't really like the beginning too much, but then it started to get better. The end seemed like an anticlimax. It also seemed unfinished on some levels and I can't really pinpoint what (or where) and I'm sorry for that, because I know you can have these in mind to improve... probably something to do with Zach? Or Kyle? Because Kyle seemed quite prominent in the beginning and he faded off, and same with Zach, though he came in much later.
It was still quite interesting. It was entertaining and funny, just the ending didn't quite get there to me, maybe because it's supposed to signify it's not the end yet, it's only the beginning sort of thing? I'm not sure. Good luck though with anything else though. Seeya.
9/9/2008 c26 Hidden Flowers
You do realize that the BS in Team BS could stand for something more than Brandon-Shelley. Like, bullshit, maybe? Anyway, good story, original plot, very amusing.
You do realize that the BS in Team BS could stand for something more than Brandon-Shelley. Like, bullshit, maybe? Anyway, good story, original plot, very amusing.