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for The Returning

7/22/2006 c1 9dragonfire-lina144
Oh, wow. And I do mean "wow."

This is an excellently crafted story, full of rich detail and suspense. It had me on edge the whole time! Very well done, Michael.

But...do you actually have dreams like that? Even I haven't had a nightmare that bad in a long while...
12/6/2005 c1 16Wing Chant
Spooky isn't the right word to describe this story. Actually, no words are fit enough to describe it. T_T Definitely creepy! I loved the description you wrote in it. It left me with a prescence of terror and fear. =O

Great job,

9/17/2005 c1 44Fredicus
oh spooky, I'v got shivers from that story, very cool, I know it's meant to end like that but I wanna know what happens! lol, awsome story

~~From the Chick named FRED!~~
9/3/2005 c1 18Plinky
I'm in my house by myself and now I'm realy freaked out! That's really scary! I mean I've had scary dreams but that was...when his neck broke! Eeuugh! Creepy creepy creepy... I keep hearing noises! Well told!
8/28/2005 c1 8Vampire-dogdemongirl
Thanks for the reveiw, now you don't have to feel stuid for giving a reveiw to the wrong person. You may went to check out my other writings. I will try to read your other writings, I can't make any promises with and homework. This was really creepy, I enjoied it.~Vimpire~
7/14/2005 c1 6Green Beret
ok, first off - brilliant. the language was good, the tension was good, and the action (or content or whatever guys who do A2 language call it) was good. so far so good.


(here it comes)

Author's note: "...So, here it is – love it, hate it, criticise it, whatever. Just please be nice!..." Contradiction, 'nuff said.

real names! change is necessary!

another good point(s): fantastic imagery at the beginning. I particularly enjoyed "snapping like a matchstick" and "apple being whacked with a hammer".

not sure whether this is good or bad yet - you get away with a hell of a lot under artistic licence in this particular bit, and it being a dream and all, ie. luke killing the guy for some random reason. pushing the frontiers as ever... ;-)

also, the ending was good, but it would have been better ended at "My head spun around".

brilliant stuff all round, the above are just pointers because im in a particularly picky mood and ive gotta get it outta my system.
7/11/2005 c1 15Sahara Hayden
Wow...I got the chills reading this...excellent job...ok, I think I'm gonna have nightmares tonight! :PYou did an excellent job describing what the boy looked like when he was dead, and Michel's feelings towards Luke...very nice job.~Sahara~
7/11/2005 c1 8Slowly Sinking
Wow. Very powerful stuff, that must ahev been an absolutely horrible dream! There's some great description here, and the ending sends shivers down my spine. Great piece!

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