for Siren7/19/2005 c1 
17the mouse that roared
I like this, it was sexy and enchanting. Nice measure. I like the rhymes and slant rhymes. Sometimes you are a little unclear, like "just as all will fall again" or "her evil beauty." Can you be more specific and detailed? Just something to work on. Nice job.
17the mouse that roaredI like this, it was sexy and enchanting. Nice measure. I like the rhymes and slant rhymes. Sometimes you are a little unclear, like "just as all will fall again" or "her evil beauty." Can you be more specific and detailed? Just something to work on. Nice job.
7/12/2005 c1 8Slowly Sinking
There's some great imagery here, and some fantastic lines, although I'm not sure about the flow coming up to the end. The last line's really strong, though; great work.
8Slowly SinkingThere's some great imagery here, and some fantastic lines, although I'm not sure about the flow coming up to the end. The last line's really strong, though; great work.