for Love Child1/23/2006 c1 
210Kelpylion
The voice in this is so strong. It's ironic how beautiful the words are for something so common and ugly. A minor thing-at the end of the third stanza, don't you mean 'borne?' If the odd grammar is intentional, then you'd probably want 'beared,' at least. This poem is so shocking with images, though...they're packed in so thick you can't take it in with one reading. Wow.
210KelpylionThe voice in this is so strong. It's ironic how beautiful the words are for something so common and ugly. A minor thing-at the end of the third stanza, don't you mean 'borne?' If the odd grammar is intentional, then you'd probably want 'beared,' at least. This poem is so shocking with images, though...they're packed in so thick you can't take it in with one reading. Wow.
8/29/2005 c1 24Moonjava
This is so neat! Very hippie 'New Age' flare. There are so many great lines too.
24MoonjavaThis is so neat! Very hippie 'New Age' flare. There are so many great lines too.
8/13/2005 c1 20S.J.Jones
This poem remindes me so much of my nephew, it's amazing. The meaning of this poem is so beautiful and yet it almost makes me cry because of how true it is. Wonderful.
20S.J.JonesThis poem remindes me so much of my nephew, it's amazing. The meaning of this poem is so beautiful and yet it almost makes me cry because of how true it is. Wonderful.
8/10/2005 c1 26Elizabeth Ebony
for some reason it felt abandoned to me (compliment) but it was tragic and beautiul at the same time.=D
e.ebony.
26Elizabeth Ebonyfor some reason it felt abandoned to me (compliment) but it was tragic and beautiul at the same time.=D
e.ebony.
8/6/2005 c1 Made in U.S.A
i haven't read or reviewed anything on fictionpress for a while but this is amazing really. love the imagery and everythign about it. keep writing and oh i finally made space to add you to my favorites :D
i haven't read or reviewed anything on fictionpress for a while but this is amazing really. love the imagery and everythign about it. keep writing and oh i finally made space to add you to my favorites :D
7/30/2005 c1 80citrus scented
oh so much tragic beauty hurt in this. the descriptions capture so much pain and sympathy for the love child, it holds so much. i love: " would give you my angel wings/And fly you far away, back to the/Fairy-tale from whence you came/If I could save you from their/Nicotine yellow lives, the/Red-palmed abuse I know you’ve bared –/"i love how you use colours to connect feelings to people and situations, really ccleverly written wonderful quality of writing. very moving.
80citrus scentedoh so much tragic beauty hurt in this. the descriptions capture so much pain and sympathy for the love child, it holds so much. i love: " would give you my angel wings/And fly you far away, back to the/Fairy-tale from whence you came/If I could save you from their/Nicotine yellow lives, the/Red-palmed abuse I know you’ve bared –/"i love how you use colours to connect feelings to people and situations, really ccleverly written wonderful quality of writing. very moving.
7/23/2005 c1 612simpleplan13
I love the last two lines... the whole poem is awesome but those lines are amazing
612simpleplan13I love the last two lines... the whole poem is awesome but those lines are amazing
7/18/2005 c1 94smile persephone
'Haloed by daisy chains and rosy-cheeked smiles/You are their trophy of triumph over the nuclear family,/Polymer adhesive binding their chemical imbalance'
I have other parts of the poem that I considered, but I'll just stick with this one to make it shorter. I love(adore!) those lines! I'm so glad that you've decided to come back (and you weren't gone for that long - thankfully!). Wonderfully written, truly.
94smile persephone'Haloed by daisy chains and rosy-cheeked smiles/You are their trophy of triumph over the nuclear family,/Polymer adhesive binding their chemical imbalance'
I have other parts of the poem that I considered, but I'll just stick with this one to make it shorter. I love(adore!) those lines! I'm so glad that you've decided to come back (and you weren't gone for that long - thankfully!). Wonderfully written, truly.
7/17/2005 c1 58White Tea and Ginger
Wow. I can't even begin to describe to you how beautiful this poem is. It made me shiver. I would tell you my favorite lines if they weren't the entire poem. Great work!
*Hillary*
58White Tea and GingerWow. I can't even begin to describe to you how beautiful this poem is. It made me shiver. I would tell you my favorite lines if they weren't the entire poem. Great work!
*Hillary*