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8/23/2005 c1 9jessyxyz
Pretty good. I especially liked the last two lines. However, I felt that trying to stay in the rhyme scheme limited the flow of your words. Also, you might consider deleting some of the periods (especially the ones in the first stanza). It made the poem a bit choppy. Very good idea, and keep writing! ~Jessica

(The copyrights are automatically inserted at the bottom of your entries, which you probably have noticed by now. ;-)

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