for A Delicate World4/21/2006 c1 
86Isis lives
wow, and I thought I left long comments! XD I really love this poem, I like the way that it seems jumbled up and has no structure or rhyming pattern. It makes it flow in the way that seems natural to me, like the way a bird would chose a flight path (o god now i'm into similes :D). And I like the way that you haven't used punctuation so everything just runs into everything else and though you want to pick bits out it seems like it's just one great entity.
And of course, have to comment on the most mamazing ending. Kudos a million times! The repitition of 'so carefully!' breaks it all up and whereas before it has been all one flowing thing now it is being destroyed and broken and separated. And then of course it's one flowing entity at the end again.
Really well done, just one pinickety thing: On the third line up, shoudln't 'fellow' be plural? Maybe that's just me being wierd but all the same, it worked better that way to me because everything else was in plural.
So great work and now I think that I have finally written a review that is long enough to match your standards XD I will have to go publish some more chapters of Dream Thieves. I've actually written something like 22 chapters... just am very behind on the whole uploading thing...
So, keep writing, obviously, and I hope you get your 100 reviews!
Isisx
86Isis liveswow, and I thought I left long comments! XD I really love this poem, I like the way that it seems jumbled up and has no structure or rhyming pattern. It makes it flow in the way that seems natural to me, like the way a bird would chose a flight path (o god now i'm into similes :D). And I like the way that you haven't used punctuation so everything just runs into everything else and though you want to pick bits out it seems like it's just one great entity.
And of course, have to comment on the most mamazing ending. Kudos a million times! The repitition of 'so carefully!' breaks it all up and whereas before it has been all one flowing thing now it is being destroyed and broken and separated. And then of course it's one flowing entity at the end again.
Really well done, just one pinickety thing: On the third line up, shoudln't 'fellow' be plural? Maybe that's just me being wierd but all the same, it worked better that way to me because everything else was in plural.
So great work and now I think that I have finally written a review that is long enough to match your standards XD I will have to go publish some more chapters of Dream Thieves. I've actually written something like 22 chapters... just am very behind on the whole uploading thing...
So, keep writing, obviously, and I hope you get your 100 reviews!
Isisx
1/3/2006 c1 50Katrina Gabrielle
oh.. again you've shown the most unique, exquisite ideas I have yet seen. I love everything I read!
50Katrina Gabrielleoh.. again you've shown the most unique, exquisite ideas I have yet seen. I love everything I read!
11/3/2005 c1 25Boadicia
Nice poem. I really like your analogy, and the different ways you explore it. Keep up the good work.
25BoadiciaNice poem. I really like your analogy, and the different ways you explore it. Keep up the good work.
7/26/2005 c1 Need 'n' Know
It ends with it and starts with it.
A house of cards IS delicate. Yeah.
And scarlet!
Julia.
It ends with it and starts with it.
A house of cards IS delicate. Yeah.
And scarlet!
Julia.
7/22/2005 c1 11Wolfie Star26
I've never been a poem person, since i can't write one at all, butm your poems are the best I've read. Of course you should know that since I read everything of yours, well almost everything. neways you did a great job on it and keep up the great work and update Ravens, please? *begs*
11Wolfie Star26I've never been a poem person, since i can't write one at all, butm your poems are the best I've read. Of course you should know that since I read everything of yours, well almost everything. neways you did a great job on it and keep up the great work and update Ravens, please? *begs*