for Lee12/15/2005 c1 MONkeyIsCAlling
wow interesting!
is it supposed to be left at that? or will you be updating more?
wow interesting!
is it supposed to be left at that? or will you be updating more?
7/25/2005 c1 
12TesubCalle
This was quite enjoyable. I really liked the part about Nadia's expasperation with Maureen:
'Her older sister still had a way of making Maureen feel so childish at times - like it was foolish to get excited over a little bullet.'
Of course, in ordinary circumstances, a stray bullet probably would have a reasonable (and less sinister) explanation. And even though you never give the reader the 'full story', it's fun to be caught up in Maureen's little investigation...while it lasted.
While I know this was done for an assignment, it would still be great to have some more closure! What happened to Lee? Who's this mystery interloper? Does Maureen live?
It's a rich premise with so many possiblities, it seems a shame to end it so abruptly. (But that's just my opinion!)
Again, great effort, and I hope your Lit teacher liked it.
12TesubCalleThis was quite enjoyable. I really liked the part about Nadia's expasperation with Maureen:
'Her older sister still had a way of making Maureen feel so childish at times - like it was foolish to get excited over a little bullet.'
Of course, in ordinary circumstances, a stray bullet probably would have a reasonable (and less sinister) explanation. And even though you never give the reader the 'full story', it's fun to be caught up in Maureen's little investigation...while it lasted.
While I know this was done for an assignment, it would still be great to have some more closure! What happened to Lee? Who's this mystery interloper? Does Maureen live?
It's a rich premise with so many possiblities, it seems a shame to end it so abruptly. (But that's just my opinion!)
Again, great effort, and I hope your Lit teacher liked it.
7/23/2005 c1 1murky
I like this! The whole concept of your short story is great. Very intriguing, full of coincidences. Though I think it'd be better if you could add details, make it longer (haha, then it'll be even more over your limit!) it'd be even better. I'm pretty curious as to how it plays out from the last line as well. Intriguing stuff =)
1murkyI like this! The whole concept of your short story is great. Very intriguing, full of coincidences. Though I think it'd be better if you could add details, make it longer (haha, then it'll be even more over your limit!) it'd be even better. I'm pretty curious as to how it plays out from the last line as well. Intriguing stuff =)