for Phoenix Song9/12/2005 c21 
6Navaura
I will back you up, if you decide to do another story. I could come up with ideas to help you, give you suggestions and feed back on your stories if you like.Right now I think you should take a break. Writing a story is a long process. I'm still working on the story I started in March. Incase you do want to chance it, this is what I recommend.1. Take Abel and his friends around the world. In cities and Countries both a like. If there is one thing about vampires, they like to hide in places that makes people forget they exist. Dark, desolate places. 2. I think they should have different alies in different places, whom they develop with during their first encounter.3. Undergo serious training with Hathor, who can be their real friend. Just remember that if they do this, make it as real as possible. Nothing so fantacy, that it makes the audiance think they are fake!
Kapeish? If you wouldn't mind my feed back, let me know. [email protected]~Nubian Queen!EXCELLENT WORK! SMILE!
6NavauraI will back you up, if you decide to do another story. I could come up with ideas to help you, give you suggestions and feed back on your stories if you like.Right now I think you should take a break. Writing a story is a long process. I'm still working on the story I started in March. Incase you do want to chance it, this is what I recommend.1. Take Abel and his friends around the world. In cities and Countries both a like. If there is one thing about vampires, they like to hide in places that makes people forget they exist. Dark, desolate places. 2. I think they should have different alies in different places, whom they develop with during their first encounter.3. Undergo serious training with Hathor, who can be their real friend. Just remember that if they do this, make it as real as possible. Nothing so fantacy, that it makes the audiance think they are fake!
Kapeish? If you wouldn't mind my feed back, let me know. [email protected]~Nubian Queen!EXCELLENT WORK! SMILE!
9/8/2005 c20 Navaura
I liked the ending. I'm proud that Abel was able to kill Mr. Morado. I think you should do a series, where for some reason Vampires love coming to their city, and have them playing back at the place they were playing before. But remember to make the vampires have different personalities, with the same draw blood technique. You know how Morado lured people by music, well, make other vampires that lure people by other things. What not!You feel me? That's all for now,Navaura~Nubian Queen
I liked the ending. I'm proud that Abel was able to kill Mr. Morado. I think you should do a series, where for some reason Vampires love coming to their city, and have them playing back at the place they were playing before. But remember to make the vampires have different personalities, with the same draw blood technique. You know how Morado lured people by music, well, make other vampires that lure people by other things. What not!You feel me? That's all for now,Navaura~Nubian Queen
8/29/2005 c19 Navaura
Bravo, I love Joey's since of humor. He's a riot!If you do decide to do some vamp hunting with these five, please strengthen Abel abit. You know, have him strengthen his character as the novels go on. He even learns how to fight throughout, get some guts into his system. Slowly, but thoroughly!Can't wait for the next chapter. Are you going to do an epilogue?
Bravo, I love Joey's since of humor. He's a riot!If you do decide to do some vamp hunting with these five, please strengthen Abel abit. You know, have him strengthen his character as the novels go on. He even learns how to fight throughout, get some guts into his system. Slowly, but thoroughly!Can't wait for the next chapter. Are you going to do an epilogue?
8/15/2005 c17 Navaura
I LIKE Y0UR CONCLUSION BETTER. IT'S A GOOD THING THAT HAZEL DECIDED TO BE A GOOD VAMP. MAYBE Y0U COULD MAKE MORE STORIES ABOUT HER AND HER FRIENDS KILLING OTHER "VAMPIRES"
I LIKE Y0UR CONCLUSION BETTER. IT'S A GOOD THING THAT HAZEL DECIDED TO BE A GOOD VAMP. MAYBE Y0U COULD MAKE MORE STORIES ABOUT HER AND HER FRIENDS KILLING OTHER "VAMPIRES"
8/11/2005 c13 6Navaura
I like this chapter, I wish she hadn't died, it would've been more interesting if she would've been turned into a vampire instead. You know make it look like she would die, but only to have her turned into a vampire. See your story provokes my imagination. Have her fight with Craven and Morado, against the guys. Joey should be included in the fight as well, since he loves horror movies. Reality's alot scarrier than the movies!What do you think of that?He's all excited until the actual fight began.Well, that's all, do what you wish.Either way I'm loving it!Navaura~Nubian Queen
6NavauraI like this chapter, I wish she hadn't died, it would've been more interesting if she would've been turned into a vampire instead. You know make it look like she would die, but only to have her turned into a vampire. See your story provokes my imagination. Have her fight with Craven and Morado, against the guys. Joey should be included in the fight as well, since he loves horror movies. Reality's alot scarrier than the movies!What do you think of that?He's all excited until the actual fight began.Well, that's all, do what you wish.Either way I'm loving it!Navaura~Nubian Queen
8/10/2005 c12 6Navaura
This chapter is okay. What are they going to do, turn him into dust or something? I don't know how they kill vampires, but I can tell you that I did see interview with a vampire and I loved it.Well, that's all, Navaura~Nubian Queen
6NavauraThis chapter is okay. What are they going to do, turn him into dust or something? I don't know how they kill vampires, but I can tell you that I did see interview with a vampire and I loved it.Well, that's all, Navaura~Nubian Queen
8/9/2005 c11 6Navaura
I know it took me so long to get back to reviewing, but I must admit, I am not the least shocked with what happened in chapters nine, ten and eleven, considering what you've told me. I must congratulate you because this is really creepy. I was interested. Now I'm interested in knowing how they will kill the vampire, of course Ihope it doesn't be phony. I happen to like Jeff, he's my favorite. He is really realistic.
6NavauraI know it took me so long to get back to reviewing, but I must admit, I am not the least shocked with what happened in chapters nine, ten and eleven, considering what you've told me. I must congratulate you because this is really creepy. I was interested. Now I'm interested in knowing how they will kill the vampire, of course Ihope it doesn't be phony. I happen to like Jeff, he's my favorite. He is really realistic.
8/5/2005 c8 Chiyokopop
Oh my gosh! poor Abel!... you have to update soon! *laughs* pwease? ^_^ this has to be one of my favourite stories ever on this site!
Oh my gosh! poor Abel!... you have to update soon! *laughs* pwease? ^_^ this has to be one of my favourite stories ever on this site!
8/4/2005 c7 6Navaura
Interesting, first of all, in the bible it does talk about homosexuality and how "sinful" it is, but I do not wish to debate religious matters with you since what you do is your own business, but I will say that what you reap is what you sew! Remember that.
I liked this chapter because it's creepy in a zingy kind of way!Creepy is okay. I used to love horror movies. Well, that's all for now, Navaura~Nubian Queen
6NavauraInteresting, first of all, in the bible it does talk about homosexuality and how "sinful" it is, but I do not wish to debate religious matters with you since what you do is your own business, but I will say that what you reap is what you sew! Remember that.
I liked this chapter because it's creepy in a zingy kind of way!Creepy is okay. I used to love horror movies. Well, that's all for now, Navaura~Nubian Queen
8/3/2005 c6 6Navaura
Okay, I didn't know that Jeff was black. I had my suspicions, but wasn't sure. If you're wondering, I'm not freaking out. I'm an Afro American girl. I have an Afro. I love it. It's just there are not many stories on this web site with African American's in them, and I am proud to say that I use a lot of my descent in mine. I love being an African American. Afro and all. I say it's a blessing. In my first three stories, it's going to be just black and white. Later I'll add some Latino. My stories are a three part series, and the characters are the same, except each story focuses on a different character. So basically,you get personal with each character in the story. If you care to check it out go ahead, but if not, that's okay too. I may as well tell you so you won't be surprised. It's a Christian story, and I am a Christian, but because I do think homosexuality is wrong, I am not to condemn a person for that. I do believe that Jesus can help people no matter who they are, and we are called to tell people about him, but in the bible it says not to judge so you won't be judge. We can tell people that what they're doing is wrong, because it is, and we can tell them what we know, but we do not condemn a person to hell. EX. two people are having a conversation. One says well, you know if you don't straighten your life up,it will lead you to hell.Person 2 says, are you judging me?P1. Says no but I am judging your sin. I'm not saying you are going, I'm just trying to keep you from going there. I dont' want to see you end up there. See the difference is when you tell somebody that they won't go to heaven, there is no hope for them, and they will go to hell, then you are judging them. SO many people get this mixed up with the example.Well, I like this chapter, I forgot about the supporting characters. Good!I'll be ready for an update tomorrow!Navaura~Nubian Queen
6NavauraOkay, I didn't know that Jeff was black. I had my suspicions, but wasn't sure. If you're wondering, I'm not freaking out. I'm an Afro American girl. I have an Afro. I love it. It's just there are not many stories on this web site with African American's in them, and I am proud to say that I use a lot of my descent in mine. I love being an African American. Afro and all. I say it's a blessing. In my first three stories, it's going to be just black and white. Later I'll add some Latino. My stories are a three part series, and the characters are the same, except each story focuses on a different character. So basically,you get personal with each character in the story. If you care to check it out go ahead, but if not, that's okay too. I may as well tell you so you won't be surprised. It's a Christian story, and I am a Christian, but because I do think homosexuality is wrong, I am not to condemn a person for that. I do believe that Jesus can help people no matter who they are, and we are called to tell people about him, but in the bible it says not to judge so you won't be judge. We can tell people that what they're doing is wrong, because it is, and we can tell them what we know, but we do not condemn a person to hell. EX. two people are having a conversation. One says well, you know if you don't straighten your life up,it will lead you to hell.Person 2 says, are you judging me?P1. Says no but I am judging your sin. I'm not saying you are going, I'm just trying to keep you from going there. I dont' want to see you end up there. See the difference is when you tell somebody that they won't go to heaven, there is no hope for them, and they will go to hell, then you are judging them. SO many people get this mixed up with the example.Well, I like this chapter, I forgot about the supporting characters. Good!I'll be ready for an update tomorrow!Navaura~Nubian Queen