for Spork1/29/2012 c2 TeamPeeta13
The revised version definately flows better, but I think I like the Original version more.
The revised version definately flows better, but I think I like the Original version more.
2/5/2010 c2 
2Bingo
That was fun to read ;) The rhyming was great to me ... it just flowed in my mind as i read it, in that funny Dr Seuss sort of way xD
It really does make you smile!
2BingoThat was fun to read ;) The rhyming was great to me ... it just flowed in my mind as i read it, in that funny Dr Seuss sort of way xD
It really does make you smile!
2/5/2008 c1 John Scott Brewer
I don't normally like rhyming poetry as much as freeform, but in this case an exception needs to be made. You did have some awkward wording left, but hey. I really liked this poem so a word or two of jitters is well worth this completely charming poem.
Sweet.
I don't normally like rhyming poetry as much as freeform, but in this case an exception needs to be made. You did have some awkward wording left, but hey. I really liked this poem so a word or two of jitters is well worth this completely charming poem.
Sweet.
12/30/2007 c1 martyfalafel
i love it. it's not awkward at all. in fact, its clever and funny, but not in an obnoxious cutesy kinda way. it kind of reminds me of mother goose nursery rhymes, but it the best possible way. i'd say it is something to be proud of.
i love it. it's not awkward at all. in fact, its clever and funny, but not in an obnoxious cutesy kinda way. it kind of reminds me of mother goose nursery rhymes, but it the best possible way. i'd say it is something to be proud of.
12/1/2007 c1 871no.peace.los.angeles
That was simply adorable. I wouldn't be ashamed of this piece at all - it had a fantastic rhythm and it certainly brought a smile to my face. It would be perfect in a book of children's poetry. Really, you have absolutely no reason you shouldn't feel proud of it - rhyming can be hard to do without sounding forced, and this just rolls off the tongue. You've done a nice job with this. Keep writing! :)
871no.peace.los.angelesThat was simply adorable. I wouldn't be ashamed of this piece at all - it had a fantastic rhythm and it certainly brought a smile to my face. It would be perfect in a book of children's poetry. Really, you have absolutely no reason you shouldn't feel proud of it - rhyming can be hard to do without sounding forced, and this just rolls off the tongue. You've done a nice job with this. Keep writing! :)
11/28/2007 c2 67Lost In Context
Very clever. I love the little dig at the plastic knife not being useful...Can never get those darn things to actually cut. Anyway, congratulations on sticking to a rhyme scheme; I can never quite make it. I love the lightness and rhythm this has- it was very enjoyable.
67Lost In ContextVery clever. I love the little dig at the plastic knife not being useful...Can never get those darn things to actually cut. Anyway, congratulations on sticking to a rhyme scheme; I can never quite make it. I love the lightness and rhythm this has- it was very enjoyable.
10/14/2007 c2 71Pricilla Grey
It was very well written (especially this revised chapter) and it made me smile. Good poem!
Pricilla Grey
71Pricilla GreyIt was very well written (especially this revised chapter) and it made me smile. Good poem!
Pricilla Grey
10/2/2007 c1 6xEmoMuffinx
That was brilliantly written! The rhyme and rhythm is perfect! The theme was also extremely hilarious! Go sporks!
6xEmoMuffinxThat was brilliantly written! The rhyme and rhythm is perfect! The theme was also extremely hilarious! Go sporks!