8/23/2005 c1 10onnatay-chan
Wow. It paints a very vivid picture for me- a girl laying in the grass surrounded by daffodils, wearing a thin cotton dress, staring at a gray sky, thinking of all these things. I really like your poem, and sorry, there's not that much to criticise. I like the line about post-it notes that no longer stick. Great poem
tay-chanps: thanks for reviewing my angsty poem
Wow. It paints a very vivid picture for me- a girl laying in the grass surrounded by daffodils, wearing a thin cotton dress, staring at a gray sky, thinking of all these things. I really like your poem, and sorry, there's not that much to criticise. I like the line about post-it notes that no longer stick. Great poem
tay-chanps: thanks for reviewing my angsty poem
8/2/2005 c1 612simpleplan13
i like the ending original ending better... nicely written... sad.. I like hte third stanza a lot
i like the ending original ending better... nicely written... sad.. I like hte third stanza a lot
7/30/2005 c1 11KojiTheBean
Awesome imagery. I think the imagery was extremely effective in illustrating the emotion behind the piece. I agree, I think your alternate ending is a little better, only because it is so forceful in addressing the pain the narrator is going through. The third stanza is my favorite. It could probably stand on its own as a poem- very good work!
Awesome imagery. I think the imagery was extremely effective in illustrating the emotion behind the piece. I agree, I think your alternate ending is a little better, only because it is so forceful in addressing the pain the narrator is going through. The third stanza is my favorite. It could probably stand on its own as a poem- very good work!