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for Glitters Of Shattered Hope

8/24/2007 c9 KelseyBell910
it was greatly written. but the ending was so sad. =[ fabulous story! =]
8/25/2006 c9 verify-me22
Oh, this story actually made me cry! I guess i kind of knew he might not come back a second time but i still thought that was him coming out of the coach!

Perfect ending. I think it was realistic that he didn't survive, however heartbreaking. I really enjoyed this story.
6/25/2006 c1 tempestreigns
Okay, so far this is beautifully written. Wonderful imagery...You've got me hooked on this fic already:P

3 little, very-nit-picky things to point out...

"The mesmerizing trees reminded her of the nightmare...and…him. If only he was there, beside her, to share the mesmerizing sight."

Just a little weird/awkward with the mesmerizing twice over two sentences...Not *too* bad, but just wondered if you noticed...

smoothen- Shouldn't it be smoothened, or smoothed?

420-420 0/420,0 makes it easier to read...
5/7/2006 c3 Wong Chian Shen
"he gave Corina the green light to carry on." i find it quite weird to say "green light" in this story because this story is set in the 1910s... not too sure if even know the significance of a green light. if there was that time, then don't bother this comment.

"He would buy lots (of) presents and gave..." haha sorry, my habit to correct grammar.

"... new load of information..." i find that using such words is inconsistent with the mood and tone of the story. stories such as these deserves a more elegant choice of words. that will really give the UMPH to read.

"With a violent and quick thug, she drew the curtains wide open and glorious morning rays flooded the vast room almost immediately." i fins this part a bit funny... as because the word "glorious" (even though it is glorious) seem to temper the mood a little.

i like the progression of the timid-obedient Anabella. how she have kept her anger up to the night when her aunt pricked her finger to the morning when she slapped William. however, i did think that the realization of William (especially towards Anabella) was a bit too abrupt.

up til now, i find the story interesting because it tells about the reactions, thoughts and feelings of the people around William and how their attitudes change upon the change of William's behaviour.
5/7/2006 c2 Wong Chian Shen
at first i thought that the person written in the first paragraph of the previous chapter was Corina but it turned out to be wrong... or maybe right.. haha maybe it is just that i was a bit on the blur side or maybe the double paragraph of present and past are a bi~t confusing sometimes.

careful about the spelling friend, "approach him, (t)he further he distant himself."

the different perspectives and approaches of both Corina and Anabella is quite well done.
5/7/2006 c1 Wong Chian Shen
the introduction is well written as it clearly describes the current state of Corina and how well off she was as a maid - silk nightdress, large windows; those are expensive stuff man. the expressions and physical condition - sweat, pant, etc. - were nicely knit creating a vivid imagery of Corina's experience.

background of the story is helpful but after a while i found it a bit too draggy. once again, everything was explained very very clearly; clear enough that if any movie producer produces this story, they know exactly what sort of props to include.
3/26/2006 c1 KLten
Oh wow. That was absolutely amazing. I love romances mixed with history.
2/13/2006 c8 special
the most beautiful, touching story i have ever had the opportunity to read.

;)allie
12/4/2005 c1 gsmonks
Yay! This is the type of story I've been looking for! I'm writing a story about WWI right now, so I'm particularly interested in what you've done. I've only had time for the first part, but I'll get back to it as I can.
8/13/2005 c10 Lily Flower
I totally love the ending..or rather this chapter...Hehehehe...the way the emotions and feelings were expressed in the letter were awesome...I found nothing wrong with it at all..Believe me..You definitely have a gift..*Hugs*..take care..
8/13/2005 c10 Navee
To me, a good story is all about the choice of words. It doesn't take much to please me in this sense. When I read, I (and I like to think most people do this as weel) like to imagine myself in that place and time- the setting. Since I have a vivid imagination, this really works to my advantage. And this author friend of mine has done just that. She really has a flair for detailed description and so she really helped with the imagination. Oh, and by the way, romance is one of its main theme so be warned (should you not like romance novels/ stories). I actually liked the romantic side of this story because most contemporary writers give you the usual love scenes and it's rather rare to see in-depth relationships. I mean, when I read this, I could tell alomost instantly there was more to this romantic relationship then just the usual surface level ones. So yeah, props to the writer for that.There were a few gramatical errors in the novel and I can't help but notice them because I'm a little bit compulsive in that sense... I've got this rude habbit o even subtly correcting people whenever they make gramatical errors...so, Trina, you might like to proof-read your future stories. I also thought the story could be a litle more longer because then you would be able to develope the characters more. There was not much internal conflict in some of the characters particularly Corina (but seeing as how this was an assignment, I'm saying no more =))On another note, maybe you could work on putting in more dialogues in your future stories. Other than that, I think she did a fab job and I look forward to reading more of her work.
8/12/2005 c10 1SouledChampion
Oh wow. That was one of the single best stories I have *ever* read. I'm so serious. There's nothing bad I can say about this, at all. And I'm not just saying it to be nice, because hey, I write David, and when is he ever nice? :p Seriously, I guess the *only* negative thing I could say (if I was forced to), would be that it was too short. But it was a really heartfelt story, and I feel like you captured the emotions perfectly. This is on my favourites as of now. :)
8/11/2005 c10 GracE-IouS
You, my friend, are Evil-how could you kill him! sigh~ in cold blood...i took a liking to him. I was falling in love when *boom* he dies. (Wipes away a tear) Anyhow, i look forward to more stories from you. Deppressing but superbly written...
8/11/2005 c10 Neng
i feel...and that's all i'm gonna say...those two words speak for themselves...thanks for the story, trina...
8/11/2005 c10 4annicel
Oh, Trina... -wipes away tears- That was beautiful. Absolutely beautiful. But so, so, so sad! Though I guess I don't really have any room to talk considering my prior history... lol

Here's a couple of things that I loved about this chapter...

(1) How he wrote 'I love you' in the first sentence of each paragraph in his letter to Belle.

(2) How you related the aspens into the story once again.

(3) And the wonderful, poignant poem.

All in all, this story was amazing for the length it was. GREAT job. I look forward to reading more from you very, very soon. :o)

Oh, and Chapter 14 of FFY should be out in a couple of days, ok? I had some college stuff to deal with otherwise it would've been out by now. :o)
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