for Fear and Consequence8/23/2005 c28 rebecca
I thought this was an interesting story with a bit too much heavy with dialogue... I like how you characterized Derrya, but Tav seemed very emotional as well, maybe too emotional for a grown man in my opinion.
I thought this was an interesting story with a bit too much heavy with dialogue... I like how you characterized Derrya, but Tav seemed very emotional as well, maybe too emotional for a grown man in my opinion.
8/15/2005 c6 me
You need to combine your sentences, they're too fragmented...well i don't know if you did it later in the story...like this..."It is night. I have written my letter"...instead of 2 separate sentences you should combine them. Yea sorry, heh it just kind of bothers me. Not being mean or anything, lol.
You need to combine your sentences, they're too fragmented...well i don't know if you did it later in the story...like this..."It is night. I have written my letter"...instead of 2 separate sentences you should combine them. Yea sorry, heh it just kind of bothers me. Not being mean or anything, lol.
8/13/2005 c12 
3miss-blackhair
whoa.. it seems that you always end the chapp with them kissing.. lol.. =)
3miss-blackhairwhoa.. it seems that you always end the chapp with them kissing.. lol.. =)
8/13/2005 c9 miss-blackhair
whoa.. your story almost flooded my mail.. lol.. its good. the chapps! =)
whoa.. your story almost flooded my mail.. lol.. its good. the chapps! =)