for Tears9/5/2005 c1 
23Contender
"What if tears are life?" Good line. However, I think you need more short, poignant lines. In my opinion, it's a bit rambling, and doesn't get to the point too well. If it was supposed to be that way, that is fine, but it seems to me that the subject of such harsh pain should be treated in a more hash manner... short, poignant lines, as I said. Like the one I quoted. You did a good job of expressing yourself, and I quite liked this one. However, perhaps try to say it in less words, and more direct and piercing to the reader's soul. Just my opinion. Good stuff. ~
23Contender"What if tears are life?" Good line. However, I think you need more short, poignant lines. In my opinion, it's a bit rambling, and doesn't get to the point too well. If it was supposed to be that way, that is fine, but it seems to me that the subject of such harsh pain should be treated in a more hash manner... short, poignant lines, as I said. Like the one I quoted. You did a good job of expressing yourself, and I quite liked this one. However, perhaps try to say it in less words, and more direct and piercing to the reader's soul. Just my opinion. Good stuff. ~
8/31/2005 c1 theFlameFairy
Hey, thanks for the review! This poem was very profound, and I loved the way you worded everything, and the structure of the poem in general. I haven't seen other poems built this way, and I really enjoyed what you did with it!
Hey, thanks for the review! This poem was very profound, and I loved the way you worded everything, and the structure of the poem in general. I haven't seen other poems built this way, and I really enjoyed what you did with it!
8/7/2005 c1 1k+Faithless Juliet
Deep, and well-detailed. I really liked it, keep up the good work.
Much love,Juliet.
1k+Faithless JulietDeep, and well-detailed. I really liked it, keep up the good work.
Much love,Juliet.