for My Broken Mirror8/17/2006 c1 
8Katie123
I like this. I have a friend whom it would fit very well. Nice writing! I saw in your profile that you're considering re-writing it, so I won't bother pointhing out the rough patches, you've no doubt found them. Good luck!
8Katie123I like this. I have a friend whom it would fit very well. Nice writing! I saw in your profile that you're considering re-writing it, so I won't bother pointhing out the rough patches, you've no doubt found them. Good luck!
4/27/2006 c1 18lulujynxgemini
wow... that's a little depressing... it's good though, a lot of emotion, it does a really good job of describing inner turmoil
18lulujynxgeminiwow... that's a little depressing... it's good though, a lot of emotion, it does a really good job of describing inner turmoil
4/19/2006 c1 4A. J. Weyler
Wow. You're scaring me.
This is so personal that I feel awful criticising it; but I think you could make this line better: "The real me is hidden in a golden box, somewhere inside me, but nobody has opened it yet. Nobody has opened it yet because, looking at me, you’d never know that the golden box was even there."
Polish that sentence up, try to make it a little more original than a golden box, and this whole piece will be flawless.
4A. J. WeylerWow. You're scaring me.
This is so personal that I feel awful criticising it; but I think you could make this line better: "The real me is hidden in a golden box, somewhere inside me, but nobody has opened it yet. Nobody has opened it yet because, looking at me, you’d never know that the golden box was even there."
Polish that sentence up, try to make it a little more original than a golden box, and this whole piece will be flawless.
4/1/2006 c1 10Arabella Thomas
I had a broken mirror story once, or poem.
To answer your question about crimson and black, I usually wear black so black fabric, and crimson for blood since I am a self-injurer. I'd like to say I have it in the past but it's not quite controlled yet.
The piece you reviewed to was scrambled because my thoughts were too, I really just look at it as a creative outlet to vent my emotions. Today was a depressing confusing day so it was a depressing confusing poem.
I am glad you took the time to read it and review it, so thank you atleast for that.
10Arabella ThomasI had a broken mirror story once, or poem.
To answer your question about crimson and black, I usually wear black so black fabric, and crimson for blood since I am a self-injurer. I'd like to say I have it in the past but it's not quite controlled yet.
The piece you reviewed to was scrambled because my thoughts were too, I really just look at it as a creative outlet to vent my emotions. Today was a depressing confusing day so it was a depressing confusing poem.
I am glad you took the time to read it and review it, so thank you atleast for that.
8/23/2005 c1 28Ivy Shoelaces
This is incredible. It's something (nearly) everyone can relate to, and it's in it's own category: kinda poetry, kinda not.
28Ivy ShoelacesThis is incredible. It's something (nearly) everyone can relate to, and it's in it's own category: kinda poetry, kinda not.
8/14/2005 c1 6Gilee7
This is definitely different. This isn't poetry, this isn't a story, I have no idea what this is. I kinda liked it, I kinda didn't. Even though it's only like 600 words and something, it seems way too long. It's saying close to the same thing over and over and it just gets very redundant about halfway through. I'm not really sure what were lyrics and what weren't. I know they were in italics, but sometimes it was just her thinking. I'd cut out some of the italicized stuff, though. It's cool for awhile, then it just becomes annoying. The other stuff is the best part of the (story?). -Pick Pick Pick. Bleed. Scab. Pick. Scar.- That was my favorite part. But maybe periods after each pick? Or commas. Maybe not, though. In a way it kinda gives you that really fast feel, like she's picking at her skin really fast. Overall, decent piece.
6Gilee7This is definitely different. This isn't poetry, this isn't a story, I have no idea what this is. I kinda liked it, I kinda didn't. Even though it's only like 600 words and something, it seems way too long. It's saying close to the same thing over and over and it just gets very redundant about halfway through. I'm not really sure what were lyrics and what weren't. I know they were in italics, but sometimes it was just her thinking. I'd cut out some of the italicized stuff, though. It's cool for awhile, then it just becomes annoying. The other stuff is the best part of the (story?). -Pick Pick Pick. Bleed. Scab. Pick. Scar.- That was my favorite part. But maybe periods after each pick? Or commas. Maybe not, though. In a way it kinda gives you that really fast feel, like she's picking at her skin really fast. Overall, decent piece.
8/12/2005 c1 DailyLatte
Wow. Amazing. Its unique, and filled with emotion. I love it. Plus, the topic is something I really relate too. *Puts on fav stories list* Great Job.
DailyLatte
Wow. Amazing. Its unique, and filled with emotion. I love it. Plus, the topic is something I really relate too. *Puts on fav stories list* Great Job.
DailyLatte