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9/14/2005 c6 3Pont
HEhehe, Brian the Bald. That would be hilarious.

I don't think the second 'lost' in the sentences 'We are lost. Lostie, Lost, losty...Lost. And it's all Prince's fault...' should be uncapitalized, since it's after a comma and not a period. *shrug* not that big of a deal, just thought I'd point it out. :D

yush. Snow is cool. And she's not going to have any sanity left by the end of the quest- if she started with any.

love the story! So cute! Keep up the good work!

~Ponteh
9/14/2005 c5 Pont
I make lists! *cower* eh wait... maybe I don't...

still sarcastic as ever ^_^ this ficcie is pretty funny

'Objective: 1. Find the Harpy Cliffs (if we survive the Dragon bit of the list, 'eh?)' I don't think you need the ' in front of 'eh'. unless ''eh' is the abbreviation of something... that I'm just missing right now... yeah, I'll be quiet.

'huge blue wet thing' LOL I love that. I love how you have her working her way into a fit- getting more sarcastic as you go. I'm always giggling to myself by the end of it.

'witch quoata' indeed... lol.

hehehe, duck charms. on a side note, PS stands for 'post script' so I think you need to capitalize ^_^ that aside, wonderfully done. She's really cranky, isn't she? on to chappie 6!

~Ponteh
9/14/2005 c6 undercover-angel96
hehe... your story is so hilarious! i love it! update soon...

undercoverangel
9/14/2005 c2 undercover-angel96
i love this! such a unique but effective structure! reading on...
9/6/2005 c5 19Lara Bykirk
On one hand, your narrator is hilarious. Absolutely, entirely, without doubt. On the other hand, she's the kind of person that no one sane would willingly spend three seconds with-or so it seems by the way she writes to herself. I'd be interested to hear from another point of veiw. The prince seems interesting, but your narrator doesn't spend enough time talking about him to let us really get to know what he's like.
9/6/2005 c5 26Scooz
Ek, good luck with the harpy part. I saw one of those things in the movie The Last Unicorn. Evil. I am not sure which is worse, the dragon or the harpy. HAHAHAHA Objective: 1. Find someone who knows where dragons are (if we don’t die of beets)If we don't die of beets?She makes them eat sushi…and you know what’s in sushi sometimes? Beets!What if they only grow beets?What if they only candy beets?She has such an issue with beets.Death by beets! HAHAHA she is such a dork.I’d prefer insane psycho fashionista...? You must be having fun writing this huh? "She’s just jealous ‘cause black makes her look like a constipated turtle eating mud" hahaha that was creative. omg that was a funny chapter. I am really enjoying this.
9/1/2005 c4 9Alteng
Mandy is still very funny with the time thing. Prince Brian should really be regretting readin her diary as she was writing it. She needs to write some good old fashion smut in there and shock the hell out of him. he'd deserve it for reading over her shoulder.

Oh my, I hope she doesn't have to succumb to eating beets!
8/31/2005 c3 5The Green Crow
HA! Crazy person. The prologue was very confusing, it took me awhile to get it. I probably should put that in my review for the prologue. Guess what? I'm not!Im in a crazy mood right now (reading your fic does that) so ill try to get to the point. That was funny... I can see wherre that's going... oh... anyways, i really liked it. Thanks for reviewing my stuff! Especially the Alloulae one. *dances around* i liked it. So, this kinda set in the middle ages type thingy... guess not... hm... id like backround info, but thats just me, loving my backround info. what a bleak outlook on life... five feet.. that means shes what... 10? or is she just a short person... 16? 18? Tell me! I realise I just spent a REALLY long review talking about nothing, so ill shut up now *zips up mouth and throws away key* *waits* *fishes emergency key out of poket* LOVED IT!

okay... dont ask where that came from.
8/27/2005 c4 3Pont
Paragraph 20: hehe, witch quota. Lol, this castle is starting to seem more and more like 'the royal institution for the royally confused.' But this is just ponteh ranting. So I'll stop now ^_^

Paragraph 77: point for Amanda ^_^

This is such a cute story! Amanda complains a lot. Very silly and just all-around cute. Well, Ponteh has to go wash the dishes now (as I'm sure you wanted to know :P) so just keep writing! Ja!

~Ponteh
8/27/2005 c3 Pont
hehe, that king is funny. ^_^ all for the good of the kingdom, but honestly, do we really need all of these 'to the dungeons with you!' and the 'off with his/her head!''s? Honestly, you would be bored too, if you had to do that eighty times a day, sunup to sundown. What is he? A twenty-four hour condemnation agency? :sigh: subjects these days... Hail the king! (hehe, I babbled ^_^ :gets shot:)

paragraph 15: 'but of once country. Not two, or three.' I think you meant 'one' instead of 'once'

Paragraph 17: 'Okay, I should really go to sleep. But how can I go on a quest. This is so mean.' Well, there's a connection there somewhere between 'go to sleep' and 'but how can I go', but it just sounds kind of... choppy. Perhaps you should try to lead more into the second part, because even though you explain it later, it doesn't really seem to tie in quite right- the way she says it, it sounds more like her asking herself if she /can/ go on a quest, as in, is she capable of doing so, which doesn't really seem to be the point here (I think you meant for her remark to be more indignant than /really/ asking whether she was capable of going on a quest). I'd just suggest rereading over this and doing as you see fit ^_^. Also, 'but how can I go on a quest' sounds like it should have a '?' at the end. Just suggesting! ^_^

Paragraph 17: 'And d. find a piece of star shaped sea glass (the magic brand, of course).' hehe, these quests sound pointless and difficult. Lol! Love this character. But I did select this quote for a reason- I think that, since you capatalized 'A' 'B' and 'C', you should probably capitalize 'D'.

Paragraph 17: your character's funny. She's awesome! 'sorry kingie whose like “Oh, my kingdom’s the coolest.” Guess what? It’s not!' Love her sarcastic comments, but 'whose' should probably be 'who's' (which is 'who is', and seems to make more sense in context) ^_^ just suggesting!

Paragraph 30:' “Well, if I wasn’t locked in the dungeon for a thousand years and then left in my room to starve to death. Maybe I wouldn’t be crawling around on the floor, mister I’m so funny, I just slay myself.”' the two ideas expressed in these sentences go together, and I think that the period just makes it seem... choppy, kind of disjointed. I would suggest using a comma instead, between 'starve to death' and 'maybe I wouldn't'. Also, I'd suggest using little quotations or dashes between the words or something on 'mister I'm so funny I just slay myself', since the part starting with 'I'm so funny' is all one big adjective describing one word and I usually think of that as meriting some way of connecting them together. But That's just a matter of opinion ^_^;

Paragraph 42: 'Wait, uh…what’s your name? Jimmy told me, but-”' I think you may have forgotten to put starting quotes on this sentence ^_^

Paragraph 48: '“So, you’re name?” He asked again.' 'you're' literally means 'you are', so I think you meant 'your' here

ew pink shoes :P I agree full-heartedly on that! You may want to avoid glass slippers, if you don't like princes, too. This is a cute story! On to chappie 10! :marches off:Keep it up!

~Ponteh
8/27/2005 c4 19Lara Bykirk
I'm beginning to think that this narrator is a wee bit insane. She's really funny, but scatterbrained is an extreme simplification in her case. But that's all right. Her tone is just delightful. I really liked what she said about borsch.
8/25/2005 c3 Lara Bykirk
Amanda is very...strange. To say the least. She's very funny, though. I was confused, however, about why those particular tasks were chosen for her quest. Were they just chosen randomly, or do they have some special significance?
8/23/2005 c2 Lara Bykirk
This was an extremely funny chapter. I love the idea of having the diary entries at ridiculously short intervals of time.
8/20/2005 c4 26Scooz
Ok, I reread this story and caught some lil mistakes in the 3rd chapter. One is:"but of once" when she is talking about the king being king of just one kingdom. I think you met 'one' instead of 'once'. And the other:

Wait, uh…what’s your name? Jimmy told me, but-”You forgot the beginning quotation mark on that sentence.God, I love Amanda's sarcasm: So, I’ve made a life altering discovery. Combing your hair on a horse isn’t really a good idea.I am really looking forward to where this story is going, especially with this annoying lil prince of hers. He seems like a child who just doesn't get enough attention or something.
8/19/2005 c3 11Earthsong12
Yay amanda! I love her personality. This is very well written, keep it up!
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