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for Eternity's Kiss

9/11/2005 c1 1rrmehta364
very interestng. its dislike not mislike. The only problem i see as that you desrbe thngs through the eyes. I know the eyes are important but don't ignore all of the other features for the eyes.
9/10/2005 c5 19Lara Bykirk
Hmm...I really wonder who this Lord Silvenford will be. And I really like Eric's failure to realize that he's in love. This is a really interesting story.
9/4/2005 c4 1Shyin
(= Intriguing!
9/3/2005 c1 23softlycryingrain
interesting beginning. I think the poem to start things out was a nice touch, The descriptions were amazing, I like your lines like "There were stars in those eyes, pools of shimmering light pulled me into their twilight depths, and there I gazed upon the heavens." very coolI also like your style, first person for me is very hard to write, but you seem to have a good handle on it.Great job, and I'll read more later! that's a promise.~SCR
9/3/2005 c4 26Scooz
I do not know what FP did to your story format, cuz I doubt you meant it but the first part is kinda messed up. It looked like you tried to use some wierd text or something that FP didn't recognize. Anyway, I love the reference you used to describe woman visitor "She’d seen the classical features of beauty as portrayed by the Greeks in books." It really supports her image in the eyes of the readers...atleast those of us who have seen portraits of ancient Greeks. Interesting chapter. An introduction to Eric's sire and again the plot thickens with the warning Kensington brings about Eric to Hope. ^^ I like this story, Eric can't stop thinking about Hope, he's such a silly goose.
9/2/2005 c4 1Clodhopper
i liked this chapter, its cool how you give us the povs of both characters. very interesting to let us get into both of their heads. the second half wasnt - in my own opinion -as interesting as the first

~Mack
9/2/2005 c4 19Lara Bykirk
How foreboding. This Grant Silvenford...I wonder who he is. I'm intrigued, also, that Eric calls Alris his maker. The only thing that was missing from this chapter was your customary poem, but even without that it was really, really good.
9/2/2005 c4 2Nirat
Great story so far, and pretty original. I like where it's going, keep it up! ~ Omi-sempai
9/2/2005 c4 9Alteng
I don't think Alris would use the name "Grant", but she would call him "Silvenford", unless there is something you are implying. Of course, he doesn't seem like a very nice fellow either.

There can be some nice plays on Hope's name, and I don't know if you do that intentionally or not. Anna is a fun girl. I kind of feel bad about her growing up and having to endure Hope's problems.
8/31/2005 c3 Alteng
Ah, And I have a whole CD library of vampire songs if you ever run out of goodies!

Hope's father is really an ass. Actually, I think Hope would need some help with the corset, and her father should know that. Squish!

Oh well, the party was nice. I don't know how I feel about Eric going for his prey, because he always gets his prey. Still, he is charming.
8/31/2005 c2 Alteng
Keats was far too innocent! I had to do a report on him for school.

Anyway, so this is a story of the 19th Century, or someo olden time. It is funny that the father would marry a gypsy. I would assume they were married, but then he would dislike his daughters so.

The bit with the other vampire waiting for Eric's return is enough to stir up some trouble indeed. She is going to be a bit peeved when she finds him cheating on her.
8/31/2005 c1 Alteng
Nice touch with the poetry, and especially with the choice of poets and knowing the time period that they come from.

So, there is only a bit of the watching with the prey.
8/29/2005 c3 26Scooz
O ^^ I like it. Though, I really hate Hope's father...I hope he meets an end like Raj and Kell's...or worse. Her sister is an absolute sweetheart. I love the opening scene in Hope's room when she is trying to cheer up her little sister, dancing with her, acting like a knight in shining armor kinda thing. That was really cute. Blah, Mary Worthsly reminds me of this nosely little snob I knew back in high school that put me in something of the same situation, bringing attention to something I did not want made public...just want to shoot ppl like that sometimes. I love the metaphor you used at the end of the chapter to tie it all together and end the chapter with a picture of Hope's exotic vinalla eyes in your mind. I am really liking this story. I wonder what Eric's deep seeded interest in Hope comes from, you just don't know enough about him. Anyway, I hope you update soon ^^
8/28/2005 c3 19Lara Bykirk
Creepy. I really like Hope. I'm glad that she so obviously loves her sister. It would have been less interesting if her whole home life had been miserable. Eric is very mysterious...I'm inclined to like him, or at least like who he could possibly be.
8/27/2005 c3 2SplintofGrass
I really like this story. Anna seems more dreamy, and Hope more logical, though that's very rough stereotyping. You should really continue this.
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