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for Misalliance

11/28/2005 c6 20Pheobe Meryll
Cute chapter title, btw.

"But then again, how could she say no to her mayhap future sovereign, and her crush." ha.

"now that she was supposedly there as Charles guest"...Charles'

Cadis never fails to be amusing. I love your characterization in this story, and you're adding enough detail now to make it a lot easier to follow. Update?
11/26/2005 c5 1Jessie My Love
I have no more left to read now...You have to update soon! I'm quite impatient mind you .. Yea I love all these little twists you have in the story. Makes it extra intresting ^^. Buut there were somethings I dind't like, well you need more description. I'm a description obsessor and dialogue obsessor...so haha yea. Well, you did have a lot of description I just think you need more like deep description and such (feelings emotion wise...oh and metaphors!) Well that's all I got for now. Oh and be careful about little mistakes that are easy to miss. Read over your chapter carefully before posting it (something I need to work on too )

11/26/2005 c4 Jessie My Love
Haha Cadis is so funni I like that girl. Aw I only have one more chapter left. That's quite depressing...*ahem* well anyways I didn't see any errors...then again I wasn't really looking for errors but not the point.

11/26/2005 c3 Jessie My Love
Oh dun dun dun...I really really like this story now. I would add it to mai faves, but it appears I've added too many to my faves already O_o I'll go through those later. Well onto the next chapter

(oh btw I noticed many grammarcal errors in this chapter)

11/26/2005 c2 Jessie My Love
Another great chapter. I'm really starting to like your characters, though I get mixed upw ith who is who and stuff...but that's just me so haha yea I'm a slow confuzzled type of person...well yea anwaysy NEXT CHAPTER!

11/26/2005 c1 Jessie My Love
Seemed a bit rushed, and in my opinion you swtiched around too much but *shrugs* Even so, I really like this story. You've got me hooked, which is vedy vedy good. Now onto the next chapter

11/22/2005 c5 2Cirex
Well, so far so good. Islana and Ashanen still look alright, though I wonder if Sheldian and Millie are still plotting something...

Hm... well the plot is thickening, that's for sure. :) Interesting to see where it will go. I'm still wondering about Allie, and what Cadis is really up to about that Magic Ban, and if Ashanen and Islana will be alright.

Lol, well keep up the good work. I think I will start reading one of your other stories in a bit. Maybe not today, but probably in a few days.
11/22/2005 c4 Cirex
Hello :)

"but Elloise had to admit, he was the handsome prince type, not one of those sloppy, lazy ‘I’m too rich to even walk for myself’ princes. " - Hahaha, I loved that reference. Nice touch. :D

I like how the subplots intertwine too. Where Cadis, Ander and Elloise, Charles are all in the same room, I found that cool. I like seeing that kind of style in books. ;)

"He was breathing a little to loud for her taste." - 'to' should be 'too'. :P

'Siovale' - I really like that name. Don't know why, it just SOUNDS like a truly magical place.

Ouch... I really hope it works out between Cadis and Ander... hmm. :(

You'd better have an happy ending planned for this. :) Keep it going!

I'll be back later, got a class to run to.
11/20/2005 c3 Cirex
Lol, “Ella of Cinders.” - I like that reference. Nice touch. :)

"It was a sea of fabrics in very color imaginable" - is 'very' supposed to be 'every'? And if so... I thought it was a Sea-themed ball. :P Shouldn't they all be in, uh, sea-colours? Just a thought.

Uh-oh... scheming princesses. I sense that something awful is going to happen in the coming chapters... no... I can see it happening in my mind. :(

Well this is great work, and you seem an experienced writer to me. :) The characters are well-developed, the plot is interesting (poor Islana...), and your imagery is great as well. Nicely described, I can picture the ballroom very easily.

Keep up the good work!
11/20/2005 c2 Cirex
As I go,

"It kind of struck me. Like lightening.”" - 'lightening' should be 'lightning'.

"Although on of his many fine attributes could be counted as such.”" - I think 'on' should be 'one'.

"with out attracting a lot of notice.”" - 'with out' should be 'without'.

"The only difference was, she thought with a wry grin, I’m not going for dancing. I’m going to spy." - Hmm... this seems awkward without italics. You could either do "The only difference was, she thought with a wry grin, she wasn’t going for dancing. She was going to spy." or "The only difference is, she thought with a wry grin, I’m not going for dancing. I’m going to spy." Of course for this last one, you'd have her thoughts italicised.

yeah... just a suggestion. :P

Aww... I hope that works out for Ashanen and Islana. They seem like a good fit, if Ashanen is anything like Eiran. :)
11/20/2005 c1 Cirex
Well, I was reading some reviews over the other day, and I noticed that I have never reviewed you back, to my eternal shame. That doesn't exactly say a lot for my claim of 'returning all received reviews'.

Oh well. Better late then never... even if late is a couple of months. *gulp*.

I really like the summaries that you have on your stories. This one's was great, but I noticed that all your other works have great summaries as well. So kudos to you. :)

As I go,

"Charles shot Allie and exasperated look" - 'and' should be 'an', I think.

"“I just though your majesty..." - 'though' ought to be 'thought'.

"It’s his mothers idea after all." - 'mothers' needs an apostrophe.

Done. I thought that this was really good quality writing, and I liked how you introduced each prince in their own scenario. It helped for me to get a feel of what they're like. :)

So good stuff, and I shall read on.
11/10/2005 c2 KaronePrincess

This story is EXCELLENT!

You have serveral situation going on here!

Very unique! Very interesting!

I love the part whenever Cadis and Ander fight or argue each other. They made me laughed. It has a sense of humor! Cadis is a strong-mind and an independent girl. She is only 17 years old, but she is the wealthiest family in the entirely kingdom. I really love her. She hates that Prince Ander. And when she knows that Ander is the prince, she even hate him more...oh..I so love this! They made me laughed. Seriously!

I so love Islana. She is so nice! Although she is poor, but she give her yearly-money to 1st-the blind woman and 2nd-the younger boy orphange. She is very nice. And she is PRETTY. NO wonder why that Prince Ashanean fall in love with her at the first sight!But she doesn't know it...haha...Oh..I so love that.

Elloise is quite funny! She tries to give the message to Prince Charles, but people keep interrupt her...hehe...it's kind of funny.

At the end of chapter 5, all 3 princes choose the person that they think that they need them.

Please DO CONTINUE this story!

It's VERY EXCELLENT! I am EAGER to read more this story!

My email is
11/10/2005 c1 9ice flyer
cool beginning. i like the humor - it's consistent with the style in Double too - but in this one the descriptions are even better developed. "But with one eye of sea green and the other the rich brown of the earth, and long, slim bones, she would not be any village boy’s sweetheart." Why would slim long bones mean that she wouldn't be any boy's sweetheart? I would think you shoudl put that part of the description in the previous sentence. And also, I liked the dialogue in teh beginning, but I think there's a little too much of it. Maybe temper it with description in between the many quotes. Anyways, good beginning! :)
11/9/2005 c3 KaronePrincess
Hi, this story is HUMOR!

I can't help it. I actually laughed a lot throughout reading this story!

I love the "girl"! She is very carefree and stong-minded girl!

11/9/2005 c5 KaronePrincess
It's me KaronePrincess.

I really enjoyed reading this!

The story getting more interesting!

Please update more!
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