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for Respect

9/3/2005 c3 12Simian
Agreed. Somebody stated that they LOSE respect by being a bad father, but you don't respect a person simply because they're your parents - not even when you're three years old.

My little cousin is scared to DEATH of his parents and he's only two! They spank him every time he starts to behave like a baby. He will not give them any respect, they're going to have to earn it.

Which gets to my point - parents have to EARN the respect naturally. If they're kind parents, then you will grow up respecting them. If they're not, then you will grow up hating them. And that's the way it should be. Just because somebody is parent doesn't mean that THEY deserve YOU.
8/24/2005 c2 1Formerly
Whoah. You could star in a movie about whiny teenagers.
8/23/2005 c3 28Darthen
Again, you refer to yourself as an example. As I have said, you are a specific case, and should this essay be about specific cases, then you should not be making generalizations. You are talking about your father in specific, yet you word it in a way that it could mean everyone's father. Your father demanding respect through the use of the term, has no effect on the correctness of the term; for example: a guilty man can claim innocence. The problem is that you were trying to write about earning respect but ended up with a half-baked rant about your father.
8/19/2005 c2 Darthen
I see. However, the rape example and the whole rage thing would be examples of him doing something to lose respect, and I did cover that in my earlier review, as did SBR, I think. You happen to be a specific case, however, and therefore cannot be applied to the blanket statement that one needs to earn respect. You are of the special case where you cannot respect your father because of ther things he has done, and I can understand that, but that doesn't mean everyone's father needs to earn respect. I stand by my statement that "I am your father" is an extremely good reason to respect someone. As is "I am your mother."
8/19/2005 c1 15Roth Jopalse Sammuels
Well written, and on a good topic.

I'm going to agree with what another reviewer has said in that your parents do deserve respect for giving you life. But everyone deserves some degree of respect initially, it's just whether or not they are able to keep it.

Take for instance any person you meet for the first time. You treat them much differently than you would a close friend. You don't poke fun at them, because you don't know how they will react. And you will treat the president with much more respect than a stranger on the street to show respect for his position, in hopes that his position has allowed him to make the world a better place. If he is a bad president, or the person you are meeting has done wrong to you, than of course this whole thing is thrown out the window.

Your essay did make me think about respect though. I used to think like you think. Like everybody needs to earn respect. After being betrayed by people I trusted, I gave up on respecting anyone unless they could prove they deserved respect. A friend once told me he respects and trusts everyone in this world, unless he hears differently. I thought that was incredibly stupid and unrealistic, and in many ways it is.

What I've come to realize is that everyone deserves a little bit of respect. Enough respect to be kind to, and to treat like you'd want to be treated. But I don't automatically respect a priest enough to put myself so far below him, nor the president, or anybody. Because no matter what position you hold, you can screw up. You can make people hate you and have no respect for you. If the clergy molestation cases and George Bush have proved anything, it's that people in the highest positions of power are not perfect and not necessarily better people than anyone else.

But I respect a person enough to treat them like I'd like to be treated, and if they show me the same respect back, than my respect for them grows, and hopefully I end up with a trustworthy friend in the end.

I just wanted to make this point to make you realize that everyone deserves some respect, but it can also be lost. But be hopeful that it will grow, and perhaps it will.

Again, excellant essay.
8/18/2005 c1 7CommandoCody
A heartfelt essay, though I think the example metaphor you used could be applied to China's current leadership as well.
8/17/2005 c1 6SilentBlueRose
Yeah, I'm going to have to agree with Darthen. Your father does deserve your respect because, without him, you wouldn't be here writing this essay/rant.

If he is a jerk that abuses you, drinks incessantly, neglects you, or in any other way is mistreating you, then I suppose he doesn't deserve your respect. But if he is a good father and treats you well, then he truly deserves it. More than anyone else does. Except your mother.
8/17/2005 c1 12Simian
My parents were the same. They believe, even today, that I should obey their every wish because they raised me.

I have told them before that they sent me to school to be raised by teachers and only at home ordered me around while telling me it was for my benefit, but they think that it's "disrespectful" for me to speak of them that way.

Take note, I'm an adult.

I thought your essay was wonderful. I'm e-mailing the link to my parents and various other parents I know. You did beautifully, especially in the style of writing. It is a rant, more or less, but it's intelligently done and wonderfully worded.
8/17/2005 c1 28Darthen
For the most part I agree with you, but you really should respect your father and elders. Unless they have done something to lose your respect, I believe that one should always respect their elders.

I could tell you quite easily what your father has done to deserve your respect. He fathered you, without him, you would not exist. He raised you, without him your moral values (even the one you argue right now) would not be the same. He pays for you, wthout him you would have to work for your own food and water and shelter.

Unless of course your dad is a douche-bag and does none of these things for you, kicked you out of the house and/or abused you. You owe your life to your father and mother, so a little respect is in order.

The words "I am your father." go much deaper then the literal meaning, I am your father refers to the fact that you exist because of him, you eat because of him, and you post stories on Fictionpress because of him. SO in that way, "I am your father" is the best reason to respect someone; it's right up there with "I am your mother."
8/17/2005 c1 6Sardonic Whispers
This essay is articulate,well thought out, and evocative. Very well done. The subject matter is made interesting by your underlying passion

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