for Butterfly12/30/2005 c16 
31Mya von Dor
I'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend, and I certainly didn't mean to say anything about your beliefs! I think, maybe, we just misunderstood each other a little, and I'm not saying that black and white does not exist, I've seen evil, I know it exists. I was just trying to say that not everyone sees things that way, and my point, originally, was that to Hitler's advisors and servants and whatever, he was a good man, even though he really, really wasn't. And maybe this all could have been cleared up if I had realized that Laertes was supposed to be rather naive, and maybe if I had though about it more I would have realized that, but, I didn't...can't do anything about that now...but again, he didn't seem all that naieve, and I must say that when I read things, the only perspective I have to go off of is mine, and I notice that I tend to put in a lot of things subconsciously, and maybe you're just a heck of a lot better at not doing that then I, I don't know, but like I said, the last thing I was trying to do was to insult you or your beliefs, or anything else. And contrary to what you might think, I actually do like this story a heck of a lot, the way you write certain things makes me slightly envious, tbh, but not enough to cloud my judgement or anything :). I just figured that you could use another perspective to look at things, is all...and I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds on that...again, didn't mean to offend!BTW, I really like this chapter...though I did miss the bit where they said he was blind...I do remember the description of his eyes being dark or something...but not the blind bit...but I do have a bad memory sometimes, and I'll re-read that later.I also like the monolouge of Adam's, it shows a lot of his character that you've just been hinting at until now...you must have some restraint, cause I would have been far too tempted to put that in until now..that's one of my problems...bad planning...but yes.BTW, if I haven't said this before, I'll say it again :) I think Virgil and Pieta are really cute together :)
31Mya von DorI'm sorry! I didn't mean to offend, and I certainly didn't mean to say anything about your beliefs! I think, maybe, we just misunderstood each other a little, and I'm not saying that black and white does not exist, I've seen evil, I know it exists. I was just trying to say that not everyone sees things that way, and my point, originally, was that to Hitler's advisors and servants and whatever, he was a good man, even though he really, really wasn't. And maybe this all could have been cleared up if I had realized that Laertes was supposed to be rather naive, and maybe if I had though about it more I would have realized that, but, I didn't...can't do anything about that now...but again, he didn't seem all that naieve, and I must say that when I read things, the only perspective I have to go off of is mine, and I notice that I tend to put in a lot of things subconsciously, and maybe you're just a heck of a lot better at not doing that then I, I don't know, but like I said, the last thing I was trying to do was to insult you or your beliefs, or anything else. And contrary to what you might think, I actually do like this story a heck of a lot, the way you write certain things makes me slightly envious, tbh, but not enough to cloud my judgement or anything :). I just figured that you could use another perspective to look at things, is all...and I'm sorry if I overstepped my bounds on that...again, didn't mean to offend!BTW, I really like this chapter...though I did miss the bit where they said he was blind...I do remember the description of his eyes being dark or something...but not the blind bit...but I do have a bad memory sometimes, and I'll re-read that later.I also like the monolouge of Adam's, it shows a lot of his character that you've just been hinting at until now...you must have some restraint, cause I would have been far too tempted to put that in until now..that's one of my problems...bad planning...but yes.BTW, if I haven't said this before, I'll say it again :) I think Virgil and Pieta are really cute together :)
12/30/2005 c16 9ice flyer
Oh, phew. So I like this relationship of Adam and Pieta very much, it's natural - and I think it's a very nice conclusion. There's one more chapter, right? yay! Great chapter, for once (ha) I have really nothing to comment on. Good job :)
9ice flyerOh, phew. So I like this relationship of Adam and Pieta very much, it's natural - and I think it's a very nice conclusion. There's one more chapter, right? yay! Great chapter, for once (ha) I have really nothing to comment on. Good job :)
12/26/2005 c6 1Triden
good chappie! i'm glad pieta will go with them. i wonder, will she be a slave forever? surely they'll let her go eventually, right?
~Triden
1Tridengood chappie! i'm glad pieta will go with them. i wonder, will she be a slave forever? surely they'll let her go eventually, right?
~Triden
12/25/2005 c15 9ice flyer
great chapter, very exciting. sad about erden! so you can't get rid of him, obviously, with the new developments in this chapter. but since his death has to mean something for pieta, then i would go with my earlier suggestion of making him more of a significant character. lol sorry for buggin you about this. i know the feeling where you just dont want to change it, lol, so you certainly don't have to.
Pieta's meeting with Virgil was sweet and touching, although I did have to go back and re-read some chapters to remember who Virgil was.. This might just be me, but perhaps you could include some more memories about him in other chapters.
BUT anyways. It's coming to a close, I see. I must admit I originally thought Adam might be her romantic interest, but I guess he's too much for her. good job!
9ice flyergreat chapter, very exciting. sad about erden! so you can't get rid of him, obviously, with the new developments in this chapter. but since his death has to mean something for pieta, then i would go with my earlier suggestion of making him more of a significant character. lol sorry for buggin you about this. i know the feeling where you just dont want to change it, lol, so you certainly don't have to.
Pieta's meeting with Virgil was sweet and touching, although I did have to go back and re-read some chapters to remember who Virgil was.. This might just be me, but perhaps you could include some more memories about him in other chapters.
BUT anyways. It's coming to a close, I see. I must admit I originally thought Adam might be her romantic interest, but I guess he's too much for her. good job!
12/24/2005 c15 31Mya von Dor
Oh, so cute! I was hoping they'd find each other! I figured he wasn't dead from how Pieta talked about him just up and dissapearing like that...though it's obvious why she thought him dead. :) It will be interesting to see why they though him useful. Good story so far, btw!
31Mya von DorOh, so cute! I was hoping they'd find each other! I figured he wasn't dead from how Pieta talked about him just up and dissapearing like that...though it's obvious why she thought him dead. :) It will be interesting to see why they though him useful. Good story so far, btw!
12/24/2005 c14 Mya von Dor
Hey, I love the different elemetal-ly creatures you talk of and describe, I can practically see them all appearing from nowhere!
Hey, I love the different elemetal-ly creatures you talk of and describe, I can practically see them all appearing from nowhere!
12/24/2005 c13 Mya von Dor
I like Pieta's character a lot, but I also really like Evondre's charm and compassion. And..well...a lot of the other characters, except the king's wife..I really don't like her for some reason. Sorry, that wasn't a 'who my favorite character is' but oh well. :)
I like Pieta's character a lot, but I also really like Evondre's charm and compassion. And..well...a lot of the other characters, except the king's wife..I really don't like her for some reason. Sorry, that wasn't a 'who my favorite character is' but oh well. :)
12/24/2005 c12 Mya von Dor
hmm..surprised he let a 'mere' guard talk to him like that. He really must be getting soft. Anyway, I like the turns your story is taking!
hmm..surprised he let a 'mere' guard talk to him like that. He really must be getting soft. Anyway, I like the turns your story is taking!
12/24/2005 c7 Mya von Dor
cliches are only bad when done badly and used for the wrong reasons, in my mind :) Besides, things become cliches because they worked to begin with!Oh! And when whats-his-name..sorry..forgot what the guys' name is...gave her to the king, I think you should have put in a bit more dialouge around the idea of him taking her. He seemed to agree a bit too quickly. :)
cliches are only bad when done badly and used for the wrong reasons, in my mind :) Besides, things become cliches because they worked to begin with!Oh! And when whats-his-name..sorry..forgot what the guys' name is...gave her to the king, I think you should have put in a bit more dialouge around the idea of him taking her. He seemed to agree a bit too quickly. :)
12/24/2005 c5 Mya von Dor
I just thought I'd point out that you should probably avoid the use of blanket statments, or things like 'for he is obviously a tirant' (did I spell that right? anyway...) for as I've heard 'one man's hero is another man's terrorist' not to mention, I've heard that Hitler was a rather good boss to have, even though he ordered the mass killings of...you get the idea. :) Things aren't always black and white. A lot of things is merely about perspective more than anything else, and I'm sure your tirant wouldn't view himself as such...he probably has decent thoughts in his head about what he's doing and why...most do..and even if he doesn't, he might have others convinced, who knows. :) Just thought I'd throw that out there! :)
I just thought I'd point out that you should probably avoid the use of blanket statments, or things like 'for he is obviously a tirant' (did I spell that right? anyway...) for as I've heard 'one man's hero is another man's terrorist' not to mention, I've heard that Hitler was a rather good boss to have, even though he ordered the mass killings of...you get the idea. :) Things aren't always black and white. A lot of things is merely about perspective more than anything else, and I'm sure your tirant wouldn't view himself as such...he probably has decent thoughts in his head about what he's doing and why...most do..and even if he doesn't, he might have others convinced, who knows. :) Just thought I'd throw that out there! :)
12/24/2005 c3 Mya von Dor
Good story so far, and btw, I see nothing wrong with the way you tackle your POV. :)
Good story so far, and btw, I see nothing wrong with the way you tackle your POV. :)
12/24/2005 c1 Mya von Dor
oh, sad! I like the way you don't beat around the bush and just start in on the story...wish I could do that so effectively...
oh, sad! I like the way you don't beat around the bush and just start in on the story...wish I could do that so effectively...
12/24/2005 c13 1rrmehta364
srry, but my computer ate my nice long review, and im too lazy to go back and reread.
anyways, i really liked the relationship between Evondre and Laertes, good siblingdom.
you do a good job with all the convos in this chappie, and i look forward to reading more.
1rrmehta364srry, but my computer ate my nice long review, and im too lazy to go back and reread.
anyways, i really liked the relationship between Evondre and Laertes, good siblingdom.
you do a good job with all the convos in this chappie, and i look forward to reading more.
12/24/2005 c14 rrmehta364
great chpter. I didn't catch any mistakes. i really like Damon's character. Even though hes portrayed as the villain, there seems to be a sense of humanity around him.
i loved the vividly described water creatures as well.
sad to hear only three chpters left, but its better to finish a story than let it amble around in a way that it isnt supposed to.
great chpter. I didn't catch any mistakes. i really like Damon's character. Even though hes portrayed as the villain, there seems to be a sense of humanity around him.
i loved the vividly described water creatures as well.
sad to hear only three chpters left, but its better to finish a story than let it amble around in a way that it isnt supposed to.
12/18/2005 c14 13Tsumujikaze no Soujutsu
Okay, so three chapters left, huh? I guess I'll be enjoying them as well... anyway, I'll have to say good job again. The whip scene was really a bit frightening in a sense that I thought Pieta was going to be tortured. Anyway, I like how you portrayed Damon's heart. It's very apt and I like how Pieta talk back to him. Now that the city has fallen, I wonder what's gonna await Pieta next. And yeah, I hope that Damon survived all this. It's pretty sad for someone to die without even having the chance to recognize his mistake.
13Tsumujikaze no SoujutsuOkay, so three chapters left, huh? I guess I'll be enjoying them as well... anyway, I'll have to say good job again. The whip scene was really a bit frightening in a sense that I thought Pieta was going to be tortured. Anyway, I like how you portrayed Damon's heart. It's very apt and I like how Pieta talk back to him. Now that the city has fallen, I wonder what's gonna await Pieta next. And yeah, I hope that Damon survived all this. It's pretty sad for someone to die without even having the chance to recognize his mistake.