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9/11/2005 c1 qQXuf0X9h
I really like the last few lines of this, they flow together so nicely! I can totally see your position on cities, although it's quite a hate/love thing for me...
9/10/2005 c1 Starlight Maiden
I like how you have your opinions all set out...good for you.
9/8/2005 c1 Martin Peterson
Once again, some wonderfully imaginative lines, how do you come up with such clever stuff? I've run out of words to describe your work.

9/6/2005 c1 612simpleplan13
I love this... short & great
9/6/2005 c1 31bjw
Hmm. True. "the world I dream ofWhere filing is ludicrous becausenobody agreed on the alphabet" - love that part. I think many people feel this way one time or another - I live in Singapore, and sometimes the feel of so much city being packed into such a small country just overwhelms... Great job!
9/4/2005 c1 Sophie August

Reasons why this poem is gorgeous:

The two beginning lines are long and filled with much description, then punctuated by the lines "Electricity/Haunts me." This structure is beautiful in a way that can only be felt, not described in a review.

I love the buzzing line "They are interrupting the world I dream of" followed by "Where filing is ludicrous because/nobody agreed on the alphabet/And I think metallic lipstick looks/Tacky and only temporary." They are beautiful lines that made me laugh because of your cleverness and imagery. Is this poem a protest against the harshness of the modern world's images? With the desire ("the world I dream of") for the world to slow, to become important in the way you want it to? That is ony my interpretation, of course.

9/1/2005 c1 194Aslan Israel
Reminds me of how all these stupid land developers are destroying the woods aroung my house, so the hummingbirds won't come back because there are no trees... So sad. While I think the city has its own charm, I wouldn't want to live there. Guess I'm a country girl.

Anyway, you did a nice job on this.
8/31/2005 c1 130Relayer
I love "metallic lipstick...," those last lines are ace. And the ludicrous filing, if only it were that simple... paints an ugly picture in a beautiful way.
8/31/2005 c1 7swtdreamz101
interesting. wow...kinda like everything has losts its brilliance and is seen in a more negative light. i don't quite get the whole lipstick and filing thing, but i have a feeling it leans towards a greater meaning. nice poem
8/30/2005 c1 118Lady Glass
Interesting. I don't think I've ever read a poem like this before. It's original and while it seems that it's kind of short and quick, it seems to suit the topic. Nicely done.

Luv, Anne Hereatta

True Child of the Xenu

P.S. Thanks for reviewing Eden! ^_^

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