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for Lanterns on the Shore

3/18/2007 c1 7havenn
I like it a lot.

Only one thing that was kind of throwing me. As much of a slant rhyme fan I am, one can't rely purely on rhyme to carry a poem's rhythm. A few times, I felt like the rhythm was a little thrown off. Other times, however, this bumpy feel played into the poem's meaning, mimicing the ocean waves. Just be careful to not overdo it too much.

I really loved the tone and images. Very original, very intelligent.

2/10/2007 c1 On The Esplanade
That was really fantastic. I love the imagery and feelings this piece invokes. Really lovely.
10/26/2006 c1 Blehk
Wow. This is one of my favorite poems on the site.

It's amazing how you convey your tone into the writing so masterfully. When reading this I feel as if I'm experiencing it. The imagery is stunning.

10/19/2006 c1 136Elliptical Shapes
Interesting style. It conveys a lot.

By the way, I noticed you reviewed one of my poems, I think 'Carapace of my edifice' and said you didn't like something I wrote in it, but the words you quoted me on were not the same as the actual ones I had written, and just for the record, I think you're wrong, those words are well placed.

I really like this poem, it reminds me of a dream I used to have when I was a kid about a world which was half dark and half light, well written.

Keep writing

9/27/2006 c1 Tytherpol
I really love it. So sweet. It sounds almost forlorn. The words are just distant and it makes me kinda sad, but still glad I read it. Nice.
9/24/2006 c1 81emizulu
Excellent! I like the idea behind this poem, and the line:

"In featureless nightgowns we watch the passing ships"

is one of my favorite. For some reason, it just works really well. Well done!
9/8/2006 c1 6Celtsea
Super again, some verses sorta stuck out and didnt fit as well as the others but that made it better in some warped way.
9/1/2005 c1 47Skivverus
Only a typo in the first line to mar the effect (stare is missing the e); otherwise, nice work.
8/31/2005 c1 10cherry-luard
Thats beautiful.

I love that last line: 'We light the passage for your ship of dreams' - a perfect ending.

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