for The Last Amulet9/26/2005 c1 
8PJ141991
Good story, however it was a little hard to read.
The main reason is how you described many of your scenes. You need to find different methods for telling your tale. By just telling what happened, or what is happening, your story can become a little less appealing and often times confusing. I do see a great story at hand, keep it up.
8PJ141991Good story, however it was a little hard to read.
The main reason is how you described many of your scenes. You need to find different methods for telling your tale. By just telling what happened, or what is happening, your story can become a little less appealing and often times confusing. I do see a great story at hand, keep it up.
9/16/2005 c1 1Alzemu
Great piece of work you got here but I think you use too much names. meaning that you should use more 'she' and 'he's instead of going Summa this Summa that. kk^_^i just might check this out again. but no time right now though
1AlzemuGreat piece of work you got here but I think you use too much names. meaning that you should use more 'she' and 'he's instead of going Summa this Summa that. kk^_^i just might check this out again. but no time right now though
9/3/2005 c2 1Liger Arion
hello again. second chapter is pretty good but i think i should point out a few problems. i saw a small amount grammatical errors.
the main thing that is getting to me is that you need to seperate your sections. when it changes scenes, give some sort of break so that everyone knows. Summa was talking and then all of a sudden Alistair was talking. it got confusing.
more soon, promise.liger
1Liger Arionhello again. second chapter is pretty good but i think i should point out a few problems. i saw a small amount grammatical errors.
the main thing that is getting to me is that you need to seperate your sections. when it changes scenes, give some sort of break so that everyone knows. Summa was talking and then all of a sudden Alistair was talking. it got confusing.
more soon, promise.liger
9/2/2005 c1 Liger Arion
great so far. i won't have time to read the other chapters for a few days but promise reviews on them too.
your detail is really good and the character discription is great too. i can already smell conspiracy and a great winding plot.
more soon, promise.liger
great so far. i won't have time to read the other chapters for a few days but promise reviews on them too.
your detail is really good and the character discription is great too. i can already smell conspiracy and a great winding plot.
more soon, promise.liger