for Only a shadow3/31/2006 c2 
28HeartbreakersHorizon
aww. how cute. I thought that the part where he lets her drive his car, which he won't anyone else touch is so cute. Please hurry up and finish chapter 3
28HeartbreakersHorizonaww. how cute. I thought that the part where he lets her drive his car, which he won't anyone else touch is so cute. Please hurry up and finish chapter 3
10/8/2005 c2 22Dying Without Gackt
Oh wow. Um Taylor is kind of girly isn't it. The way he's head over heels, gossips and...::shivers:: squeals. If I ever actually here a guy squeal (unless he's gay) I will run far, far way. ::Keeps shiver:: Man! That was so scary. I don't really have a favorite character yet - It's a bit to early to tell. Your description was better in this chapter - But you really need to work on your grammar and sentence structure. If you can't catch it yourself get a teacher or a friend to edit it for you.
But other then that - Much better then the first chapter.
22Dying Without GacktOh wow. Um Taylor is kind of girly isn't it. The way he's head over heels, gossips and...::shivers:: squeals. If I ever actually here a guy squeal (unless he's gay) I will run far, far way. ::Keeps shiver:: Man! That was so scary. I don't really have a favorite character yet - It's a bit to early to tell. Your description was better in this chapter - But you really need to work on your grammar and sentence structure. If you can't catch it yourself get a teacher or a friend to edit it for you.
But other then that - Much better then the first chapter.
9/23/2005 c1 Dying Without Gackt
Not bad for a start. But some criticizing - Put a LOT more detail into it. And...check it a couple times or everything will turn out confusing. You had a good amount of grammar mistakes and spelling - So go over that. Or you can get someone else to edit it for you. And take it slowly - try not to rush what's going on and what's being said.
Slow pace. Steady. More description - and you'll be fine. But I like the character idea. So, not bad!
^.^
Not bad for a start. But some criticizing - Put a LOT more detail into it. And...check it a couple times or everything will turn out confusing. You had a good amount of grammar mistakes and spelling - So go over that. Or you can get someone else to edit it for you. And take it slowly - try not to rush what's going on and what's being said.
Slow pace. Steady. More description - and you'll be fine. But I like the character idea. So, not bad!
^.^