for Comatose4/6/2006 c9 
33crispybea
really intruging. i need the next chapter! hurry up already :D excellent writing honey. x
33crispybeareally intruging. i need the next chapter! hurry up already :D excellent writing honey. x
4/6/2006 c8 crispybea
this is an excellent chapter. the descriptions keep you really interested and paint pictures in ur head. i really lked it. great one mike :D x x
this is an excellent chapter. the descriptions keep you really interested and paint pictures in ur head. i really lked it. great one mike :D x x
10/25/2005 c7 crispybea
very intruging chapter. i enjoyed the beating jack up part but i would. i like that u gave talena a serious attitude and she's a kickass cop. really geat one. keep on writing. can't wait for chapter 8.
twanie
very intruging chapter. i enjoyed the beating jack up part but i would. i like that u gave talena a serious attitude and she's a kickass cop. really geat one. keep on writing. can't wait for chapter 8.
twanie
10/13/2005 c7 vague shadow
Nice chapter. I like that Talena has a bit of an attitude. Jack deserved those black eyes and a bloody nose. He was being a jerk.
The flow of this chapter seemed a little off to me though. I kind of got confused when Sanderson had her in the office talking about Jack. Then they were in the meeting and he asked Jack about his eyes and nose. Then Talena was in the office again and they were still talking about Jack's injuries.
I don't know. I just got confused maybe? Anyway, I like how the story is progessing. Good job!
~Jess.
Nice chapter. I like that Talena has a bit of an attitude. Jack deserved those black eyes and a bloody nose. He was being a jerk.
The flow of this chapter seemed a little off to me though. I kind of got confused when Sanderson had her in the office talking about Jack. Then they were in the meeting and he asked Jack about his eyes and nose. Then Talena was in the office again and they were still talking about Jack's injuries.
I don't know. I just got confused maybe? Anyway, I like how the story is progessing. Good job!
~Jess.
10/11/2005 c7 5RedHairedWriter
Hey Cool, I feel sorry for cam, and think Jack deserved what he got. I really liked this chapter. I'm really glad she beat Jack, sorry but I am, and it gives her a little of her toughness but. I think you said the word emotion a little to much.
5RedHairedWriterHey Cool, I feel sorry for cam, and think Jack deserved what he got. I really liked this chapter. I'm really glad she beat Jack, sorry but I am, and it gives her a little of her toughness but. I think you said the word emotion a little to much.
10/10/2005 c7 25v3point7
this one wasn't as interesting as the prior six, but good none the less. I like Talena. A lot =) her attitude is superb. I'd like to see Clive get out of his coma! And them catch Sako. =/ But I'll have to wait, eh?
25v3point7this one wasn't as interesting as the prior six, but good none the less. I like Talena. A lot =) her attitude is superb. I'd like to see Clive get out of his coma! And them catch Sako. =/ But I'll have to wait, eh?
10/5/2005 c6 v3point7
wow. beautiful imagery and explanations. it was so nice to read, i'm finding myself more and more drawn in.
wow. beautiful imagery and explanations. it was so nice to read, i'm finding myself more and more drawn in.
10/5/2005 c4 v3point7
That dream scene was awesome! It reminds me of my coma song and one of the short stories i wrote. Overall, great job.
That dream scene was awesome! It reminds me of my coma song and one of the short stories i wrote. Overall, great job.
9/30/2005 c6 33crispybea
very gripping from beginning to end. especiall the "bullets flying everywhere scene". nicely done.keep writing.
33crispybeavery gripping from beginning to end. especiall the "bullets flying everywhere scene". nicely done.keep writing.
9/30/2005 c5 crispybea
another good chapter. i'm not sure about celeste, is she to be trusted? or is she to afraid to disobey sako?
another good chapter. i'm not sure about celeste, is she to be trusted? or is she to afraid to disobey sako?
9/29/2005 c3 25v3point7
You have the best description! I love it! And the story is soo interesting so far! I can't read more right now, but I can't wait to!
25v3point7You have the best description! I love it! And the story is soo interesting so far! I can't read more right now, but I can't wait to!
9/27/2005 c6 5RedHairedWriter
I love it, Talena is way braver than me, I probably won't drive in my own car incase there was a car bomb *shivers*... very good but there was an error: "He left the room which slowly creaked shut"; the sentence is missing a word or two, and they never close doors in a hospital. My moms a nurse I should know.
5RedHairedWriterI love it, Talena is way braver than me, I probably won't drive in my own car incase there was a car bomb *shivers*... very good but there was an error: "He left the room which slowly creaked shut"; the sentence is missing a word or two, and they never close doors in a hospital. My moms a nurse I should know.